Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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B3ta would like to thank you for pointlessly blaring out this opinion.Go on. Blare out an opinion.
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thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:10,
156 replies,
latest was 16 years ago)
B3ta would like to thank you for pointlessly blaring out this opinion.(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:27,
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wearing this glorious beardis a lot better than looking like a gayer english version of gok wan
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:28,
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Gok Wan is EnglishWell, he's from Leicester, which is almost the same
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)
of english ethnicity(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:33,
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I think the word you're looking for is "Caucasian"To imply he's not of English ethnicity is to assume that his parents aren't English, which they may well be, I've no idea. Although I may have to research him a bit (strikethrough pre-empt!) before Anne accuses me of wanting to be him. I reckon if she accused me of idolising him and I reeled off some stalkery facts about him it might just stump her
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)
chinese fatherenglish mother
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:40,
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I don't know whether to call you a stalker or a shirterBut thank you, either way
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)
I'm neitherbut wikipedia is just a few clicks away
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:42,
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it's risky stalkingbecause you can't trust it
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:47,
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Less risky than sitting outside someone's house with a pair of binoculars thoughCheaper, too. Those little pocket-sized packets of Kleenex can really start to add up
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I think Montys interest in the Nazi party is bordering on the sinister.(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I don't know who to vote for.All politicians are cunts.
Not an opinion, a truefact.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:15,
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It's in in-joke BECAUSE of poor grammar.dictionary.mictoboy.co.uk/define/Your+all+Gay/
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thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:19,
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YOU FAIL AT B3TA TOOWTF is wrong with you people?
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thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:17,
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That's the name of a Combichrist albumAlthough they don't use WTF, but rather the actual words.
They're Norwegian.
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Some people are cunts, some people are awesomesauce and some should be blatted with rocks until they cry salty tears(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:16,
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maybe you should shut the fuck up and get back to masturbating in public while crying and screaming the Lord's Prayer(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:17,
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I should shut the fuck up about my lack of love life and devote my remaining years to charitable work.(
girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:16,
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You have a love life?(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:17,
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You have remaining years?(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:21,
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Not many my arseYou've most likely got more left than you've had already, therefore your remaining years are a length of time beyond your rational comprehension
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Yeh,like Blousey employs any rational comprehension.
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thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:25,
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You can make a difference?I'll stop being a cunt now
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:28,
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Yeah, why change the habit of a lifetime(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32,
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remaining years?what?
have I stumbled into an Austen novel?
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:19,
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I don't live too far away from where they were born.Maybe that's it.
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girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:20,
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B3ta would like to thank you for pointlessly blaring out this opinion.(
thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:23,
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i think life would be nicer if we were allowed to beat our kidsAND each other's kids. only if they get out of line though.. rule of thumb applies.
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)
THERE ARE TOO MANY TYPES OF SANDand the guy at Travis Perkins laughed at me because I didn't know which to buy.
SAND IS STRESSFUL.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:20,
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Throw different types on Kaol.First to make him cry wins.
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thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:22,
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Nah, he'll use the sand to make a bomb or something.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:26,
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Not these days...not now he's living with a professional mong-wrangler.
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thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:28,
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I still wouldn't venture into his shed without a fireproof suit.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:29,
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she is actually a mong-wrangler though(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31,
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that is correct(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:37,
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Clicked hard.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:55,
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I agree with this statement.I had to put sand in the base of my basketball hoop, took two and a half fucking hours for 2 bags because I had to scoop it up by hand and crumble it because it was wet and wouldn't pour ffs
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:23,
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I think you should tell that sand to FUCK RIGHT OFF.Stare the Travis Perkins guy down until he volunteers the type of sand most suitable to your requirements.
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I hate Travis PerkinsI bought a bag of cement from them, and the bloke out back surrounded by building materials sent me into the office to get a chit for the bag of cement and the blokey blokes in there were being blokey and even though I look a bit blokey I only have to open my mouth and everyone knows i'm not blokey...
...I think Homebase is more my thing
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:26,
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The builder said to get it from Travis Perkins cos B&Q sand was too fine.This stuff has lumps of grit and shells in it. It's blokey sand for sure. I'm worried it's too blokey.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:28,
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Sounds like you're making up some good blokey concreteI admire your blokeyness (yet fear it at the same time)
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31,
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Only men not comfortable with their masculinity would hide behind their knowledge of various sands to boost their self esteem.IMHO
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girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31,
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This has the ring of truth.I imagine they're all out the back of Travis Perkins building sandcastles (with shell windows).
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32,
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Oh i'm sure they were all rampent shirtersbut they would have beaten me to death with non-branded trade tools had I suggested it
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:34,
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STRAWBERRY OATYBARS ARE TOO STRAWBERRYEY AND NOT OATY ENOUGH.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:25,
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Rounding them up for a little light torture old chap.Screams of pleasure are still screams after all.
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I HEART JOHN MAYEReven if he is a douche, he's gorgeous
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32,
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Is he a douche?He's not done much business over here, so all I know about him is his reasonably awesome guitar solo on Fallout Boy's cover of Beat It
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oh yeah, he had a lot of controversy recently because he said Jessica Simpson was sexual napalmthen talked about liking some black woman and calling her brown sugar or something, I don't know
but he performs brilliantly, looks like he's having an orgasm on stage
HAWT
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:36,
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Jessica Simpson's totally lengthworthy thoughUnless she hasn't stopped gaining weight since I last saw a photo, about a year ago, in which case she probably isn't
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I've never seen the appeal of her.the bff is in love with her, has the crap tv show dvds, all her cds, a bunch of her handbags, jeans, sunglasses and shoes
it's retarded
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:42,
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I'd still fuck her thoughas long as she was gagged
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:43,
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Her appeal, sadly, is very easy to explainShe's blonde and she's got cracking norks
Vipros makes a good point, also
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well yeah, which is the appeal of any woman that wayI quite fancy Angelina Jolie, she has lovely bone structure
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:49,
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I'd give her my lovely bone structure(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:50,
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I didn't want to laugh at that, but I did anyway(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:51,
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nah, you can have her, she's too skinny for meI also like Anna Paquin, especially with the Sookie blonde hair
phwoar
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:52,
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Surely she's just as skinny as La Jolie?Sookie blonde hair - yes please. Telepathy, no thank you, check that at the door young lady. If I choose to keep the wolf from the door by thinking about the pedestrianization of Norwich city centre, I don't want her knowing about it. Might think I'm some weirdo with a town planning fetish
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Negative. She's a pretty healthy weight, probably around an american size 5 or 7Angelina Jolie looks about a 0 or 3
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:00,
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Really?!I obviously don't read enough gossip mags. I shall choose to remember Jolie Classic, circa Gone in 60 Seconds
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:03, Reply)
alsoTomb Raider era
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:25,
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I've gone off her.She doesn't look enough like Jeff.
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girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:51,
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oh fuck yeahI lurve me some Japanese, oh man, and all my friends think it's weird
I had a major thing for Jet Li back in the day
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:03,
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The only problem is most of them are too short.But Jet Li is hot.
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girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:05,
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FLASH FORWARD IS A TURGID PILE OF SHITBURN NOTICE IS QUITE ENTERTAINING
DOLLHOUSE WAS A DISAPPOINTMENT
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:37,
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I HAVE N...sorry, i'm still shoutingI have not seen them
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:40,
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They're pretty good.Perhaps you should check them out.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:41,
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I might just do that*arches eyebrow*
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:43,
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The phrase 'mong-wrangler' was, and will be, the most entertaining thing on Off Topic today.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:48,
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Yes you fucking do.Not only is it a fine description of her profession, it also describes Mel's role in the relationship quite well.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:53,
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Quentin Tarantino made one good filmWith "Reservoir dogs". All the rest have been self-indulgent piles of wank, and everyone is too afraid to tell him so.
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Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:57,
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I like Pulp Fiction a lotI find it thoroughly entertaining
and Inglorious Basterds
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:59,
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I forgot about pulp fictionI'll concede that one. I got halfway through Inglorious Basterds before giving up. I just couldn't watch it.
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Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:18,
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Pulp fiction is greatReservoir Dogs was, in my opinion, shit.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16,
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The first part is trueHowever, it should have been followed with "he then went on to make several more good films"
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:59, Reply)
I believe Notherns to be genetically simplier than their more evolved Southern cousinsNorthern monkeys - Southern bonobos
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:01,
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You may have undermined your argument somewhatby your inability to spell "simpler"
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There is a difference between spelling and typos smartarse!This is slightly unfortunate though!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:22,
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you bloody foolthe northern idiots are mocking us!
quick, astound them by your ability to use tools or make fire!
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:24,
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do you think the patches of face between my sideburns and beard are just naturally hair free?I suspect that it requires more skill to shave my face than yours
particularly because you don't have to worry about spoiling your looks
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:31,
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The fact that you are capable of wielding a razorand leave those great clumps of hair all over your face is further testament to your simplicity
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I suspect that if you want my comebackyou should check in your mother's mouth.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:38,
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I suspect that you have used that line beforeand are pearoasting it into this argument for lack of a witty or original response. Outwitted by a Northerner. Tsk.
That said, I am so nicking that line. Might use it on Anne. That'll make sure it doesn't get broadcast
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)
you are rightit's not often that I'm stuck for something to say. I couldn't even think of something shit to respond with that was on topic.
I have been present when it was used by a mate. not used it on here as far as I know. feel free to take it. it's a beauty.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:42,
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I shall credit you upon each use of itBut if it's OK with you all just refer to you as "a mate", which I know is somewhat presumptuous, but if I have to explain how I know you it makes me look like a colossal geek and knocks the wind out of my trimuphant sails
(, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)
My bird still hasn't told her parents that she met meON THE INTERNETZ
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djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:55,
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My sister's on b3ta so I wouldn't have gotten far lyingYour parents will be ashamed of your loserish standing when it all comes out. It'll be like an episode of Brooky.
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djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:01,
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NahI'll just say "He didn't send me a picture of his cock on Facebook. He gazzed it to me on B3ta. What's the big deal??"
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:04,
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I only told a select few that the bash I went to was with internet peoplemost of my mates would be understanding, but some people just don't understand that it is perfectly possible to get to know and like someone through just talking in text form.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:06,
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Eggzackly.I told my parents I randomly met the B3tans I know randomly on a night out in London and that's FINE. (Even though they could be and probably are crackheads.)
Say you know them off tinternet and oh Jesus you're putting yourself in danger.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:11,
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althoughsurely they would be so relieved that you've stopped your descent into mad-spinsterhood that they wouldn't care where you met him?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:13,
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I'll wait til they've met himThe fact that he can string a sentence together and doesn;t smell of vinegar will calm all of their prejudices about the internet and the Scottish.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:14,
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*high fives*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:21,
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I hate when I catch up with people I haven't spoken with in a while and they ask how you're doing and you're like 'ok' or 'good'then you ask them and they're all 'GREAT!!!11!!'
no you're fucking not
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:38,
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IF YOU DON'T COME TO MY BASH IN OCTOBER YOU ARE A TURD!Unless there's a genuine reason for not turning up, obviously. I'm not that vindictive.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:41,
Reply)
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