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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Incidentally,
I've just found the article to which you refer. The double entendres about "filling the gaps with Christ" are not at all subtle. And as for some of the comments...
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:41, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
He'll fill you up with the Devil's cock
But he'll cum in the name of the Lord!
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:42, Reply)
And lo, from his fishy 2' by 5' meaty loaf
shall pour enough little fishies to douse even the five thousand that stand before him.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:44, Reply)
Blasphemous innuendo aside
Why do the priests quoted in this article all sound so fucking sanctimonious? The whole article reads like Thought for the Fucking Day's Greatest Hits - and as for this Friar Wang chap, he's clearly managed to perfect that ingratiatingly pious raised-eyebrows look that these high-and-mighty god-botherers strut around the place with. GRRRR.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:50, Reply)
I've just read some of the comments. Oh dear.

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:49, Reply)
Some of them clearly only read The Bible and The Daily Mail
Edit: At least Lyndsey from Sheffield seems to be talking some sense on that list of comments. The only thing she's forgotten is the asperger's-riddled interweb lurkers gazzing photos of their pork swords to anyone they suspect of having breasts.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:51, Reply)
I can't find it
Linky?
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:51, Reply)
For the main article
head over here, and if that doesn't get your back up enough, try the extended verbal diarrhoea of purest piety from the hilariously named Friar Wang.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:53, Reply)
"the idea of a celibate lifestyle, as practised by the clergy of the Catholic Church"
...should be followed with "when they're not buggering choirboys", really.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 11:58, Reply)
I thought it was quite sweet
didn't put my back up, can't see why it would. Personal choices
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:00, Reply)
It's little bits like
"People want a priest because he will show them the love of Christ, and not because he has lived through all ups and downs that they live through." - sorry, but if I'm in need of a bit of moral support, I'd rather hear some comforting words that are grounded in reality.

"I promised to remain unmarried 'for the sake of the kingdom and in lifelong service to God and mankind'." - come on, you've got to admit that sounds holier-than-thou. And makes the assumption that 'mankind' wants him in its 'service' in the first place.

Maybe it's just me. I should add the disclaimer that if I catch Thought for the Day in the morning then buy about halfway through it I want to hit the speaker in the genitalia with a shovel.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:06, Reply)
I think my opinion is probably tempered
due to the fact that I have met some lovely priests in my time (as well as some awful ones) so I find it hard to join in with the Catholic Church hate-fest.

Though you're right those bits are cringeworthy, most priests would never say such things
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:14, Reply)
Oh, it's not restricted to the Catholic Church
I really want to give a thorough marrow-rogering to that Iranian cleric who blamed the recent earthquake on immodestly dressed women. (And don't get me started on the Westboro Baptists.)

I've met some perfectly lovely priests as well, and I've also met some utter twats. (Grew up next door to one of the latter, in fact...) There's just something about the way some of them give you *that* look and give you some glib-yet-supposedly-profound-sounding horse-shit like "Well, the Lord moves in mysterious ways..." that makes me turn into a frothing, rabid form of Richard Dawkins...
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:18, Reply)
A marrow-rogering for that Iranian cleric
sounds just about right. What a complete tosser. Did you see the Louis Theroux documentary on the Westboro Baptists?

Yeah some priests are twats definitely, but others are fairly brilliant and mostly alcoholic
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:24, Reply)
Can't say I did. Who comes off as the bigger pillock?

As for the twattish vs lovely priests, unfortunately the majority of my encounters have been on the twattish side. Mainly because I try to go by the maxim that "Religion should be treated like your genitalia: don't wave it about in public and don't shove it down children's throats."
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:26, Reply)
Well
Louis Theroux was so incredibly nonconfrontational that he didn't really get down to the nitty-gritty at all, yet the WBC still came off as cunts.
It's a good maxim to have. I've been lucky enough to meet some of the decent ones.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:33, Reply)
God hates fags
He much prefers spliffs
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:36, Reply)
Theroux
always
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:38, Reply)
Of course, the real question to be answered is this.
A life of celibacy does not stop your tadpole factory manufacturing the little buggers so something has to give. So it’s either the ignomy of an unscheduled night time bollock explosion followed by a quick change of bed sheets, or a quick one off the wrist every now and again behind the font to stop your knackers from looking and feeling like a couple of tins of Fussell’s milk.

Which is it? The public needs to know. And if it’s the latter then it’s effectively murder, you know.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:06, Reply)
Which, if it's the former
leads to the question of what a celibate priests wet dream involves - does it feature steamy, sordid encounters with some naked, buxom beauty sneaking into their cloister? Or is it the cast of Oliver?
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:14, Reply)
They dream of God
He has the most glorious fanny
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:21, Reply)
and 6 tits

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:23, Reply)
an old school friend of mine
says they are allowed the occasional ham-shank, as long as they take no enjoyment out of it.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:39, Reply)
How the fuck do they do that then?
Do they knock one out while wearing wire wool gloves?
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:44, Reply)
damned if i know
though I'm sure some would enjoy the wire-wool gloves.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:51, Reply)

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