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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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How excited do you think people really were when they invented sliced bread?
Was it really one of those amazing moments where everyone just stopped and went "FUCKING HELL", or did it grow in status over time?

What's puzzled you lately?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:08, 89 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
What has puzzled me lately is the girl in my office
She has such a nice arse, and perfect pert boobies. Is so slim, and perfect in every detail. I want to know if she does it doggy style.

Its a real puzzle.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:13, Reply)

SEXIST!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:15, Reply)
She is so pretty though, and she has an MSc.
I've only got a biscuit.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:17, Reply)
That is a brilliant justification of objectification
"I'm perving on her brain as well as her body!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:21, Reply)
I'm glad you agree.
She likes my experience of electrical engineering, so its not all one way.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:23, Reply)
Your pillow talk would be phenomenally erotic

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:33, Reply)
"I've got a 10pF variable capacitor in my workshop"

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:34, Reply)
I know nothing of engineering-speak so will simply assume that I should have a stiffy right now

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:37, Reply)
I hope you don't.
I was giving an example of Bartleby's pillow talk, not trying to give you the horn!

Unless of course you find his in depth knowledge of electrical engineering a turn on. In which case I'll leave you to it. :-)
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:41, Reply)
I like capacitors

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:42, Reply)
You're guilty as charged

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)
Haha
Resistance is futile.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:47, Reply)
I was going to make a pun about valves
but thought it'd better if I came up with something more current.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:49, Reply)
This thread has some potential...

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:50, Reply)
... but a little circuitous.

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:58, Reply)
now
if it was a flux capacitator. That'd be a different story
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:14, Reply)
Trust you to lower the tone.
Are you well today?
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:20, Reply)
Could be worse thanks
yourself?

And I live for lowering the tone
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Too late
I'm rubbing one out with my spare hand as I type
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)
I guess so.
No complaints, probably because I don't talk about my job when I'm on the job.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:41, Reply)
'its not all one way', eh?
You reckon she takes it up the arse?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:45, Reply)
This is one of the disscussion points in the office.
But not while she is within ear shot.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:55, Reply)
It's well known lasses with pert breasts absolutely
love having hot spunk sprayed on them.
Go on, MTFU and just ask her!
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:00, Reply)
Pah!
Asking's for poofs. Just walk over to her and give her a good Spider-manning.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:02, Reply)
yes, do this.
Do it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:03, Reply)
Can I use the above as part of my defence when I end up in court?
She's far too chaste to let me. Newly married, and not used to our hedonistic ways.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:08, Reply)
Nothing sexist about it
It's merely a point to ponder.

And perhaps fantasize over...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:19, Reply)
No perhaps about it
She has fine olive skin too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:22, Reply)
I don't have anyone to perve over at work : (

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:24, Reply)
Yeah, but haven't you got a puppy?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:26, Reply)
?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:28, Reply)

Shome confusion shurely?


Morning BGB - how's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:02, Reply)
A pair of puppies, perhaps

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:35, Reply)
TITS

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:37, Reply)
i like tits

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)
The usual........
but I had one of those Wow isn't the universe amazing moments last night while watching The History of Science on BBC2.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:14, Reply)
Meh
It's not that amazing. I could take it or leave it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:15, Reply)
That has to be the ultimate statement of apathy
"Universe? Meh, s'alright, I could take or leave it to be honest..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
It was a good programme
Mornin' your BGBness, I'm a lot less grumpy Today, so far.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:15, Reply)
I'm a bit grumpy because I stopped over at my parent's house.
I'll feel better once I get home tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:17, Reply)
Parents do that to you.
Until recently, everytime I arrived home after visiting the parents, I hit the bottle. I found out that all my siblings did too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:19, Reply)
It's gets a bit suffocating as my step-dad is also my boss.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:21, Reply)
Oh god, that's not easy.
Best to keep a formal, straight backed, relationship.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:25, Reply)
Hahahahahaha!
No chance of that.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:29, Reply)

It puzzles me that we seem to be having a mini-heatwave inside our house, yet the heating is off.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:20, Reply)
Hot flushes?
How old are you?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:22, Reply)
Noooo not hot flushes
I'm only 21.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:30, Reply)
*Shakes fist*
Damn young people. Get off my land with yer fancy hippety-hop!

Sorry, Ballet last night. Am feeling creaky and therefore cantankerous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:32, Reply)
I don't like hippety hop though
I like Buddy Holly and Johnny Cash etc. Gee-tar.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:37, Reply)
Oh, that's all right then
Welcome to the honourary old people club
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:40, Reply)
Ta

(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)
It's not that much of an honour
The only other member of this rapidly-made-up club is a man who does Ballet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:49, Reply)
Billy Elliot?
Or Rudolph Nureyev? (sp)
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:51, Reply)
Neither
Billy Elliot is a (fictional) child and Rudolph Nureyev, wonderful dancer though he was, was a fairy. I am a MAN

*poker face*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:56, Reply)
Yeah, but
it's a made up club, so you could have made up people in it. And Billy Elliot could be a fictional adult by now.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)
If he is, he's an adult Geordie
which means he'll have resumed the inexplicable self-confidence that every Newcastle United fan seems to regard as their birthright.

And will therefore need a slap
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:01, Reply)
Just lately I've wondered if we do need an Old Peoples' Club.
Time I was pensioned off, fo'sho.
/OTH anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)
I always hear that as,
Poke her face.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)
Mymymymymymymymy poker face!
*thows shapes*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:00, Reply)
I'm having one of those* in my office
because the air handling system is buggered. The engineers can either make it roasting hot, or freezing cold. I settled for hot.

*a heatwave, not a hot flush.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:24, Reply)
I think it might just be the houses next door
We are in a terrace row.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:30, Reply)
Call the fire brigade quick.
and don't open any doors.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:24, Reply)
But how will I get my breakfast?!
(yes that is my main concern)
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:30, Reply)
Hang up your bacon in the heat
and it'll soon cook.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:34, Reply)
I don't have bacon.
But if I did, I would.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:37, Reply)
Bread?
To toast.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:40, Reply)
Mmm yes
Toast.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)
Back to the sliced bread thing
When the first housewives opened the wrapping of their sliced loaves, you'd imagine that they'd be so pleased that they say something along the lines of, "Oh, this is the greatest thing since...." what?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)
Unsliced bread?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:45, Reply)
But that would be silly!

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:50, Reply)
I like silly.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:01, Reply)
FIRE
or porn. I reckon that's what those heiroglyphics were all about, really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:49, Reply)
You're probably right
from a man's point of view. "This sliced bread's the greatest invention since they printed that book of naked ladies that I've got stuffed under my mattress".
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:52, Reply)
Come to think of it
Why isn't the saying just "The best thing since porn"? It's been enduringly popular
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:55, Reply)
Because it would not be true.
Nothing is better than porn, to a huge section of people the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:02, Reply)
I think actually doing it is better than porn.
But then again I'm female.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:03, Reply)
Re-read the above
"Nothing is better than porn, to a huge section of the internet"

That would be the section who can't get actual sex, cos they spend all their time whacking off to porn online, or gossiping and trading insults on forums... um...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)
That almost describes me : (

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)
Only til InFest
You'll have Goths licking your boots - I said BOOTS - in no time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
I'm not sure I'd want a goth dribbling and crying all over my boots

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
With all due respect
I bet BGB will make a better Dominatrix than you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:36, Reply)
especially given the suffix
not sure if NakedApe would make a good woman
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

*stocks up on black eyeliner*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:18, Reply)
The twin tub? Sliced cake?
Probably would have said - "So this is what margerine is for".
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)
Women; women puzzle and vex me on a daily basis

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:06, Reply)
What's the square root of 559?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:07, Reply)
See what I mean!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
23.64318084

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
pfft
smartarse
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)

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