Bruises
Thanks to falling out a wheelie bin backwards earlier on, right onto my arse, I've ended up with a solid, straight line of a bruise running right across one cheek. It is, without a doubt, the oddest and most awkward bruise I've ever had.

What are your tales of strange/unexplained/painful bruises?
(Twinx, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:31, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a scar on my thumb in the shape of the ridges of a serrated knife from where I tried to open some bath oil with it
it's not a bruise but it hurt like a mofo
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:36, Reply)

I fell over onto an rounded iron fencepost
it left a bruise in a perfect circle on my upper arm. Hurt quite a lot
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:41, Reply)

I have loads of bruises on my legs.
But I don't remember getting them.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:44, Reply)

I managed
to acquire 4 large bruises on my left leg running from just above my knee down my calf - on the inside........a definite DRI as it would appear to have happened on my last trip to "that London"
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:55, Reply)

I'm always running into stuff and I can trip over air

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:59, Reply)

it would appear
that us ladies are a clumsy lot, eh?
(Twinx, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:59, Reply)

You are indeed
Only a couple of weeks ago I saw a girl in our workshop at uni slice her finger open with a scalpel. No bruises as such, but she lost all feeling in it, and it hasn't returned yet. Nerve-lolz.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:08, Reply)

I'm in a quandry,
Do I watch Luther on BBC1 or Mad Max (beyond the thunderdome), on ITV4?
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:16, Reply)

I have problems with the joints and tendons in my feet
After an incident at work on Friday I managed to get a loveley bruise & swelling along the side of my right foot. It's accompanied by a fucking good impersonation of Long John Silver and a lot of swearing as I move aout but praise jesus for Deep Freeze & ibuprofen.

Glad I'm not alone in my clumsiness
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:30, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post548348
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:37, Reply)

Yes but what do I watch on TV?

( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:39, Reply)

EARL!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:53, Reply)

OMG!
It's a Bridges.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:55, Reply)

I was wondering what they were called
Was talking about them only a couple of weeks ago.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:48, Reply)

Yes but what do I watch on TV?
Halp me someone.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:54, Reply)

I can't imagine
there's a whole lot on on a tuesday evening...
dvd?
(berk, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Do I watch Luther on BBC1 or Mad Max (beyond the thunderdome), on ITV4?
Pick one.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Mad Max
All the way.
(berk, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Hooray!

( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:59, Reply)

you are kidding?
Shameless...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 4 May 2010, 23:03, Reply)

Ohboyohboyohboy!
www.misskaties.com/pd_1_dome.cfm
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:01, Reply)

*pats head*
Aw bless!
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:02, Reply)

I reckon I could easily cheer up 71 people with that little lot.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Do you know 71 people?

( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:04, Reply)

I don't need to.
I like cheering up strangers too.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Aw I'm glad you're coming to the bash : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:08, Reply)

you should be
noel is a top chap
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Get the fuck in!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:11, Reply)

I like your way with words young lady.

( girlinthehole, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)

I like those poppy things,
Every time someone says the word 'diaphragm' I think of them.
All my life...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:20, Reply)

I can't find anything but twelve shitty little ones in the UK.
I want 72, random colours, pounds sterling. Is that too much to ask, universe? IS IT?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:14, Reply)

I managed to
gratuitously nut the pavement one night when I was drunk. Woke up with a broken nose and two black eyes, which at the time I had no recollection of acquiring. I'm not massively proud of myself for getting that drunk, but it was actually my mum's fault - she took me out to the pub with my brother and sister because I'd recently been dumped and was miserable, and proceeded to drink me under the table.
(berk, Tue 4 May 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Christ, I bet social services were chuffed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)

I was of
legal drinking age. And at least under the watchful - if mirthful - eye of a parent who ensured I got home (if mildly broken). Admittedly, she was in the queue at the takeaway when it happened...
(berk, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:57, Reply)

I'm covered in bruises from being
bashed with foam weapons all weekend. Didn't really notice until I got home
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:31, Reply)

bashed with foam weapons? I'm intrigued!
(Twinx, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Don't be
I'm just a stinky larper
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Kinky!
How goes?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:21, Reply)

We don't know what you get upto in the bedroom, dear

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Never chew a pickle...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:38, Reply)

they were latex covered, too
things goes good - although I can't seem to completely shake the russian/arabic accent I was doing all weekend

good bank holiday, missus?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:35, Reply)

You little minx
I had a good'un ta :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 May 2010, 22:38, Reply)

One of my friends
once had a thumb deep hole appear in his leg one night while we were out walking. No idea how it got there, and he didn't feel anything at all.

It was only when we bumped into someone else we knew that it was pointed it.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I once landed chest-first on a climbing wall
and got some bruises that looked suspiciously like love bites. I have no idea how.

I had to cover them in plasters, pretend they were a lot worse than they were, and tell my ladyfriend they were too horrid to look at.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 4 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)