How many people can you fit in a baby changing room?
simple answer - 16.
for full extended essay about ambulances, police, and the boredom of small town emergency services, see replies.
( ascorbate, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:28, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so, I'm a bad mother
Yesterday the baby decided he was bored with the usual cafe routine of sitting in his highchair and waiting for me to get his cup out, so he lunged forward and managed to hook a full cup of hot chocolate off the middle of the table and all over his legs. Result: 1 screaming baby, 1 mother not sure whether to panic, and 1 cafe full of people desperately trying not to be seen staring at aformementioned sprog.

I managed to strip his trousers and socks off and rush him into the baby changing room where the poor lad was subjected to the cold tap - had to stick both his legs under it to try and prevent scalding.

NOW, had this happened at home, that would have been the end of it - I'd have cleaned up the mess, given him some calpol, and vowed not to drink hot chocolate near him again. However, we were in public, so here's what happened instead:

5 cafe staff all followed me into the changing room, muttering about first aid. 1 brought a first aid kit in, and emptied over the changing mat, whilst telling me there was nothing in it of any use for scalds. 1 stood there saying 'well, the water for hot chocolate is heated to 160 degrees so by the time it gets to you it must be at least 170 degrees!' (I said 'I presume that's farenheit?' to which they all said 'oh no, definitely celcius, it's got the little degree sign next to it' So in other words, they served me steam. which got hotter when handed to me). A security guard came into the room to announce he'd called the police and the ambulance. 2 policemen came into the room and gloved up to hold baby's leg under the tap. 2 plain clothes policemen came in (although at first I was going 'who the fuck are you?', they did eventually introduce themselves). 2 paramedics appeared and inspected baby from all ankles, before concluding that his ankle was definitely going to blister and blister BAD. Then further concluding that the blisters were actually water drops, and they were looking at the wrong ankle (because the police bloke was telling them to). My friend also came in with her toddler to hand me my handbag and ask if I wanted my pushchair too. This totalled 16 people (albeit two under 2s) in a baby changing room.

I was then escorted to the ambulance with baby, and had to help them with their reams of paperwork. I also managed to expose my breasts to several nosey passers by who were rubber necking like mad as I sat in the back of the ambulance feeding the baby - the ambulance was parked on the main street in town. My friend brought the pushchair to me, but apparently had been prevented from taking it away initially by one of the policemen who told her he needed to photograph the crime scene.

I think the main conclusion we can draw from this episode is that there is fuck all for the emergency services to do in the town I live in. Also, don't put hot drinks anywhere near my child.
( ascorbate, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:29, Reply)

ha,
made me laugh, at least people care in their relativley incompetent ways.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I think most babies accidentely get hot drinks over them at some point.

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I know I did, it's why I'm so pretty.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I managed to put my hand on a hot hob ring when I was little.
I think this is why I hate cooking.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I didn't
I got to nine years old burn-free, then walked into a blowtorch
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:36, Reply)

how the hell
do you walk into a blow torch?!
( ascorbate, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:36, Reply)

It was on the floor
I walked into the kitchen, started playing with a plumb-line, ignored my dad's advice to "Get out of the kitchen, this has got an invisible flame!", played some more with the plumb-line, heard a WHOOSH, saw a blinding light, danced round the house with my trousers on fire until dad caught up with me and put me out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:39, Reply)

It was just a matter of time.
The burn will get you in the end.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:37, Reply)

torch job
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Oi!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Yes?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:53, Reply)

At age 9 or 10 I walked in on my parents having sex
That was definitely scarring.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I totalled a baby walker into a glass-fronted fire when I was 8 months old.
Part of my face and hand stuck to the glass. Had to get skin grafts. No lasting damage other than the face I ended up with, which I would've ended up with anyway.

My mother still feels guilt about it but I'd far rather she felt guilt about things I can remember.

Hope Oliver is okay.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 19 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

You are the plot to a British film (farcical comedy obviously)
AICMFP
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Obviously this time it wasn't hot enough
but I did learn in my first aid course that you shouldn't take off the clothing that's been scalded because it can take the skin off with it. That's what happened to Harvey, Jordan's baby. He scalded himself in the bath and she tore his trousers off, which took his skin with it, yeeshk.

Glad he's ok though. My first burn was only two years ago when I started the job I'm doing now. I'd only been there two days and I put my arm through the kettle steam trying to reach my toast. BELM. They put up a sign saying "caution: hot", which embarrasses me every time I go in the kitchen.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 19 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Glad he's doing ok.
Must have been pretty harrowing!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 19 May 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I never got burnt as a child!
but have made up for it as an adult with at least yearly oven related burns since I was 18. My sisters on the other hand...
( ascorbate, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

How's he doing now?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:41, Reply)

fine thanks!
he actually slept last night! the first time since, um, birth. 9-6.30, best night he's ever had! If I'd not kept on waking up to check he was breathing, and if my boobs hadn't hardened to rocks by 4 am, it would have been my best night too.

and as for the scald - there's no mark at all, which is good!
( ascorbate, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Oh I'm glad he's ok
Panic over, morons!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 May 2010, 12:46, Reply)

That'll be the calpol. Toddler roofers.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 19 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Nice!
Good old over-reacting, nosey cunts there. Here is a massive internet tip, the best things for burns, and i keep a bottle of it at ALL times in the fridge is Whitch Hazel. It's like a magic elixir that soothes and prevents blisters, big time. On sunday I was being a man and fucking about lighting the bbq....a few of the charcoal briquettes fell from their lofty pyramid and being the man that I am, i decided to use my manly fingers to place it back on top of the pile. The initial sizzling alerted me to the fact the opposite side of the briquette was in fact white hot. I raced in for the witch hazel and soaked some cotton wool and wrapped it around my crispy fingertip for about 20 minutes.... The result was a tiny blister that wasn't raised, or pussy or sore.

Rewind to a pizza related incident where upon my greed fat cuntness made me touch the metal grill and there was NO witch hazel...it stung like a enraged hornet for hours and came up in a fat, angry, puss filled blister that took weeks to go away.

I usually buy the bottles of clear stuff from boots, money well spent..It is also great for ANY skin condition, especially sunburn or even sweaty chaffing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 19 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

it's great on bruises too,
the really nasty ones where you proper bang one of your pointy bits, it takes the swelling down and stops it turning all purple and shit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 19 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)