I was out for a walk with my folks yesterday.
My mum mentioned she'd had two calls from a guy who was looking for someone called Emma. It was a wrong number and if told him so both times. She got a text from him while we were stopped for lunch detailing very explicitly how he was going to lick her ladybits and stuff his manwand deep inside her etc. She started reading it out and got as far as 'I can't wait to go down on you and lick your...' before dad and I started laughing.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:53, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I'm impressed you managed to text your Mum whilst in her company without her noticing

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I have incredibly deft thumbs.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 24 May 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Worth knowing
Next time I find a dyke with a hole that needs plugging, I'll let you know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I would imagine the nightclubs you go to
are full of them.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Lezzers plugged by small dutch boys' thumbs to stop them gushing and flooding the Netherlands

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:05, Reply)

He wouldn't know
he spends all his time in the toilets. With a paper bag on his head.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I set 'em up, Monty...
...and Al makes a joke about my face. My horrible, horrible face. Am still waiting for my Molly Ringwald moment where I get this makeover to reveal that I've been beautiful all along. Could happen.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I'm waiting for your Molly Ringwold moment when you put on lipstick
by holding it between your collosal man boobs.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:09, Reply)

You spend an obscene amount of time thinking about my physical appearance
I think you fancy me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I think
you need Gok Wan to make you feel beautiful, girlfriend!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Yeah, you so want me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Ha, finally!
www.b3tards.com/u/2d02d2b686cbd66f1844/deft.gif
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:29, Reply)