Tell me how to make pasta again please?
Its around a year since I last made it. I know it goes in boiling water, but how long for if you want it tasting non soggy? I'll be adding pesto and cheese in large quantities so if it tastes shit it won't matter as much.

/run out of nice food emo
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:52, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jesus...
What does it say on the packet? Generally 6-14 minutes, test it every minute.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I don't have the packet numbnuts. I'd have looked otherwise

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Are you going to make it from scratch?
About 3 mins if so.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Ah yes, fresh pasta takes a lot less
I was thinking the packet stuff.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Read the back of the packet
different pasta takes different times.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

or until it floats generally

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

oh man, that sounds amazing right now

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

non soggy al dente

You uncouth slaaaag!
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Get fucked northern scummer!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Yeah yeah yeah
step outside the M25 and say that. Oh I forgot, you're physically incapable.
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:09, Reply)

No need, you'll come to London again...
I'll get al to kick you at download for me
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:10, Reply)

The only thing that fat man is kicking
is the bucket. See you in London then beckster *stern faces*
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Don't wind him up
I'll get murdered at the weekend
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Nah
you're fine. I need you to make tea.
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:21, Reply)

*sigh*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:22, Reply)

If it's quick cook it'll only take 5 mins
Just keep it simmering and poke it with a fork or eat a bit of it until it's to your liking.
And hello missy ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:58, Reply)

s m
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:23, Reply)

ahhahaha

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:24, Reply)

glad you got that :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Listen up becks, and listen up good, because what you're about to hear may revolutionise your eating experiance for the rest of your entire evening.
You got sundried tomartoes, garlic and a bit of pasta (preffably pasta that isn't string-like, like taglatelly or spaggetty)? yup? Good. Nope? Go out and get, pick up some olive oil while you're out too, for christ's sake, you're making a scene.

1 - Boil the kettle, luv'.
2 - Chop up about 3 cloves of garlic, or a bit more if you like a bit more, or a bit less if you like a bit less.
3 - Chop up the sundried tomartoes too into bite sized chunks, average tomarto can split into 3, goddit so far?
4 - Kettle's boiled, put it into a saucepan with some salt (for christ sake, don't tell me you've not got any salt, you're a disgrace !), turn the hob on and let it simmer.
5 - Add the pasta to the water, about half of the serving bowl is the right amount, want a bit more? Feel free to add some more, it's christmas this year after all.
6 - Get a frying pan on and put some olive oil in it, add the sun dried tomartos, use a medium-low heat yeah', it'll only be doing you a favour.
7 - It's been a few minutes, the sun dried tomartos are a bit blackend, bung the garlic in, there's a good girl.
8 - Garlic is starting to go brown? Turn the heat off and leave it, don't piss about, just leave it.
9 - It's been about 10 minutes now, test the pasta, do you like it? drain it, is it to hard for you, give it a minute or two and then try again. Not hard, not in the slightest.
10 - Add the pasta to the garlic and the sundried tomartos, get right in there and mix it up a little.
11 - "And that is all she wrote", as they say.

One thing though, if you like those little fish-sticks, the white ones with pink top, chop them into three and add them between stage 8 and 9. Fancy spicing things up a bit? Add some chorizo, and I don't need to tell you to take off the skin and put that before stage 6 and let them chrispen up.


Now, no need for your thanks. Your love and admeration is enough thanks for me, can't go to Tescos with that, but you can't go to tescos with a lot of things.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I aint got none of that shit Gonz. How about adding baked beans or marmite?
I got pasta shells, pesto and cheese only
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:08, Reply)

You'd never make it in my kitchen with a lardar like that. Not in this life time.
You must have something more than that, some paprika? any sort of meat (even if it's peparami or twizzle sticks in the freezer) ? What sort of things do you have in jars (got any sweetcorn in a can?)? Condiments, women, CONDIMENTS, what condiments do you have?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I don't do condiments, so no

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:50, Reply)

I really don't see how our relationship can get through this.
=/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 18:07, Reply)

get the marmite involved
fuck pesto.

pasta.cheese.marmite.

DONE
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:13, Reply)

NOM

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I once made a fry-up where I used pasta instead of any other kind of carbohydrate.
It was fucking lush.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:16, Reply)

that sounds excellent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:18, Reply)

You could wash the beanjuice off
And put the beans in for some extra nutrition and texture, yes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Or keep the been juice, add some paprika, sun dried tomartoes, chorizo and have a really nice sauce.
Well, you could, if you had the lardar of someone who has a well stocked lardar*.

I don't think she plans ahead, I've always got _something_ that I can cook at all times, just in case the cashpoint swallowed my card and Nancy From Hollyoaks knocks at my door with a dire need of a good feeding.

* Yes, I know, that was the best mean-but-not-mean thing I could come up with for this, pathetic, on my part.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:23, Reply)

that does sound good
I'd eat that. I like your thinking young Gonz

edit: in fact, I've just remembered I had chorizo beans on a baked potato a little while ago. it was insanely delicious
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Apart from the bean juice
I've tried incorporating it into things and it doesn't seem to work.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:25, Reply)

it works with some things
mash a tin of beans with a tin of corned beef, wrap in puff pastry and bake. fucking outstanding.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Corned beef gives me a sore throat

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:27, Reply)

you're not supposed to fellate it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:29, Reply)

You must remember to take it out of the tin

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Thank's mate =)
I've got about 8 recipys now photographed that I need to blog up.

I got NASTY drugs thinggy tomorow that'll knock me out for about 5 days, I need to think up things that are easy to make during this time rather than go mental on the take-aways.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:26, Reply)

nice (not the sickness bit)
I need to get some of my recipes down at some point. close to perfecting my chilli recipe now. the addition of tequila last time was a major turning point I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:28, Reply)

I always over-look the chilli-concarn when cooking, but I think that would be a good thing to perfect.
Have you tried treating it partially like a bolleganse and adding chicken liver? I bet that would work nicely. I like to add some balsamic to that too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:30, Reply)

mmmm, balsamic into bolognese is a great idea
I'll be trying that.

I've not added chicken liver. sounds interesting.

I eat chilli pretty much once a week as I can make a massive batch cheap and put it in the freezer. most recent revelations have been adding black treacle and tequila (previously Jack Daniels, but I ran out and discovered tequila works better)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Balsamic works well, sometimes needs a bit of sugar to balance it but it adds to the tomartoyness.
I tend not to cook things that require rice, that's my achillis heal when it comes to cooking.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:49, Reply)

rice is easy
for a start only use basmati.
here is my method:
boil kettle
fill saucepan with boiling water
add rice
bring to boil
boil until rice is perfectly cooked
rinse in boiling water
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 18:14, Reply)

Needs moar meat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:21, Reply)

I concur
it needs pancetta and mushrooms!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:22, Reply)

mmmm pancetta

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:23, Reply)

hahaha you mong!
*points at the mong*
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:21, Reply)

I would like to concur with the good Rosalicious's point, and extend the statement in order to welcome her to the thread.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:24, Reply)

im sitting here dreaming about cutting up horses

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Rampager

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:25, Reply)

consider yourself on the list

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:26, Reply)

yeah yeah
Right, I'm off to Tesco and you can't stop me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:27, Reply)

LOVE YOU MISSING YOU ALREADY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:29, Reply)

This best not be a drugs refferance =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:27, Reply)

oh man i am so totally out of my goooourd

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Fuck all that shit, I've got chorizo and bacon. I'm set

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:52, Reply)

All the cooking questions help you'll ever need here
tiny.cc/7sjcm
( b3tz, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 18:58, Reply)