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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Even on my birthday. Bastards!
Emails coming in asking if I want to improve my tiny dick!
How the fuck did they find out?
And they're telling all their friends so they can mail me too.

What surprising thing has the internet let on about you?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:32, 98 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Don't worry they send them to everyone,
I get them and my dick is massive.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:34, Reply)
Happy birthday!
The internet wants to improve the size of my little fella too. I reckon they have a lot of work to do, starting from zero.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)
I found out the real reason I was dumped.
But it's ok I'm over it now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)
What was it?
Was your dick too small?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)
wouldn't surprise me

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)
It seems there was no spark.
I just wish he'd come to that conclusion a lot quicker before I'd invested all the emotion and money and he'd had the balls to be honest about it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)
haa that's the stupidest reason ever
he sounds like a prick.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)
*nods sagely*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)
I dunno
he could've said it was because she smells like soup
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)
officelol!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)
unfortunately I stole that from So I Married An Axe-murderer

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)
ha
do love that film
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)
*unzips*
*waves willy about*

What do you think?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Maybe his dick was too small
and he felt embarrased about it. After all, BGB deserves a lot more than that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)
-pats-

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Happy birthday!
Too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)
my old boss read my livejournal from when I was a youth
that was pretty embarrassing
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:41, Reply)
How did he find that?
I'm quite sensitive to make sure my surname doesn't ever appear on here- would probably show up on Google and then be linked to me. And we know that woulnd't end well.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)
He was the head of IT
so he used some kind of magic. I'm not particularly concerned with my anonymity normally, but I'd written stuff on there about a guy from work that I had been seeing, who royally screwed me over, and how upset I was about it. Lots of teenage girl emo whining.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)
There's a lot about my life on here
I must be careful about who I tell that I go on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)
I do think about that every so often
especially when I'm complaining about friends being rubbish and whatnot, just in case they did happen to be lurkers.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)
An ex joined.
Not that I'd mention him much anyway...
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)
This is why you should never write anything personal on the Internet ever
/tinfoil hat
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)
GOOGLE IS RUN BY THE CIA

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)
no, the CIA is run by Google

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)
yeah I know that now
I don't even write status updates that are any more in depth than what I'm eating at that point in time or how much I hate Mondays.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)
Brenda? Is that you?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Damn!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)
And I didn't realise they'd let you out...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Same here
I save personal stuff for my friends, counselor and the CIA.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Yeah, I don't even make reference to my smoking on Facebook. That's more to do with my father stalking me...

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)
It's always a sign that someone is cheating when they delete their facebook
because they don't want to be tagged in photos or have people see their relationship status, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Oh my
I've been in 2 facebook relationships. One proper, one marriage to my best friend.

I've been a member for about 3 and a half years :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Hurr hurr
"member"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
OH MY GOD, SAME
I swear we are actually the same person.
I didn't want to be married to me "best friend" though, cos she wasn't.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)
It was a male best friend
Incidently that was the title of the first gaz I sent you- the one about being the same person.

We're kind of like the same person that went down different life tracks. Mine of arts and fatty food, you of science and poledancing.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)
you should get together and get it on

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
I wish :D

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I've just gone all FB-Official with my Lady, which is a huge step for me
As I don't like putting personal info online.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)
We've noticed : )
She's purdy.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
She sure is!
Well out of my league, just goes to show that good things can happen! Rohypnol and blackmail do work!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)
Pfft! leagues are for footballers.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Very true, and I hate football

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I saw :)
it adds a whole new load of pressure to the 'are we in a relationship' thing to the first few weeks of dating, neither one wants to go first.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Well, we've been back together for a couple of months now
And she knew I wasn't keen on putting it up on FB.
Edit: But I'm obviously happy to put it up now, else I wouldn't have done so :p
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)
I hate that you have to announce it to everyone
and then if you break up everyone goes "Oh no, what happened?"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)
it does give the opportunity for amusing japery

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

j r
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)
Yep, plus I'm friends with an ex, and didn't want it to seem like i was rubbing my new relationship in her face
(I'd obviously told her though)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)
that's always an interesting one
I've often wondered when my ex became aware of my mrs, and how soon after we'd broken up. and also how much she knew or minded that I had technically cheated on her (she didn't know at the time I'm sure of that)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)
As soon as my Lady and I became an 'item', I let the ex know
To be fair, we'd split up 18 months before then, but she's a good friend and we always stayed in touch. She didn't really take it well, said some things that shook me, and so I didn't want to broadcast it on FB.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)
that sucks a bit that she can not take it well after 18 months
I'd say you kind of lose any right to that sort of thing way before that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Doesn't stop someone feeling things though
No matter if they have a right to or not.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)
that is true
people need to learn to keep things to themselves sometimes though!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Oh certainly, myself included!
I don't blame or resent her for it though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)
good stuff
sounds like you are happy with your lady now though. good job.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Cheers!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Did she expect you to be single forever?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)
For a long time I expected to be

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)
I wish I'd expected to be single for so long.
It would have made things a lot easier.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:32, Reply)
it's bad enough being friends with my cousins on there
but I get aunts and uncles and stuff trying to add me. they can fuck right off.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Wiggy's dad pervs on photos of me in short skirts

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)
of course he does
he must be so proud, with his boy bagging a pole-dancing corset manufacturer
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Yes
Since my mother joined and added me as a friend, facebook has gone from being a great place to tell your friends what you are up to that moment to a very scary place full of secrets and "happynes"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
My family is not very nosey so I could write on my wall that I want to become a man and no-one from my family would push for info.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)
My mum is not very nosey either
But there are things for the friends, and things for the family. And if one day I'm feeling down, the last thing I need is she calling me to talk for 1h on the phone because she's worried about me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)
My mum wouldn't do that.
You know more about my private life than she does and I've only known you a short time.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)
My dad keeps trying to add me
I refuse. Facebook is for friends- if he wants to talk to me and see wht I'm up to, call me.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)
I should have done that
She's only got 5 friends as well, so she can see easily all what I do.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I'm FB friends with my parents, and also the Lady's mum
So I don't put up anything too rude.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I say fuck in so many of my statuses that it wouldn't be wise
luckily my parents don't care about facebook.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)
My Mum FB stalks me all the time
She doesn't mind me swearing, and thankfully she doesn't comment on FB, but I have had phonecalls asking if I'm alright because of some status updates (that I'd meant as tongue-in-cheek).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)
I'm friends with them too
Before doing it, it felt like a great place to communicate with friends. Now it's a lot more formal.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)
And I think I found you on FB
By virtue of who you're friends with, being female, and possibly having a Spanish-sounding name.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)
No shit Sherlock : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)
I R DETECTIVE!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)
I can't remember if we are friends already....
if only there was a function to search by hairstyle...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Ooo, I didn't know you were on FB...
I will have to find you.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)
I'd have thought you'd have found me by now....

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Like I said, I didn't know you were on it
So didn't bother looking.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I meant since you found out :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Oooo! someone's desperate

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)
I'll love you.
*strips off*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)
hot damn!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)
It's the only kind of love I know.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)
it's the best kind
the other stuff is padding
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Found you, added you
Took about a minute, third profile I looked at.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)
that profile pic is awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Thanks!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
also, your mrs is hot
good work

*firm handshake*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Thanks again!
I love the pic of you and your good lady (also congratulations!) by the beetle :)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
that one has caused some confusion
as we were at a friends wedding, not our own. the mrs was a bridesmaid, which is why she matches the ribbony stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)
I have my name in the b3ta group
I'm one of the last ones who wrote it, so no difficult to find at all.

But yes, you're very clever.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)
I sent friends requests to a lot of you the other day
While being quite drunk, and now I'm not sure who is who. I hope nobody gets upset if I have a mistake.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I have a couple of cousins and two aunts on there.
But I have them on a separate list so if I do anything naughty I can stop them seeing it.
My sister doesn't give a shit, she already knows everything I do anyway, and I know she won't rat me out to mother.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I never do.
For I am old and wise.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

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