Heeheehee!
I thought you had me on ignore?!

I love you Becky, thank you for reminding me that I am a flaccid, impotent human wart
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:45, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I did until I could see replies mounting up and couldn't read them
Putting you back on it very soon. Find another reason to be on b3ta. This isn't healthy
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

What isn't healthy?
I've only just started enjoying my return.

If you mean that the terrible things I've said aren't healthy, I think you might be wrong. So many of you here seem to think that it's not possible to say horrendous, innapropriate things and still be a good person, but you're wrong.
Sure, I've crossed lines here that nobody else does, but compared to /talk I'm pretty tame, and they can't all be be bad people.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:55, Reply)

And why do you think most of us don't go on /talk?

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Because most of you
Are soft, unpopular and over-sensitive.

This may be a chat forum, but it is still on a sick joke website. If you post very personal details in public, some idiot like me is bound to come along and say inappropriate things about it, so going 'waaaaah! Bert made a nasty joke about something personal I revealed online' is just daft.

There are things Becky and I have talked about by gaz and text, personal things for both of us, which I would never bring up on here. There was no malice meant in my post that upset Becky, I was just starting to consider her my friend, but I make inappropriate jokes, it's just who I am. I do it in real life too, and get away with it because I'll finish off my sickening repartee with a cheeky smile, a hug and maybe receive a kick in the nuts
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Nope that's not it.
Talk is rarely funny and I like sick humour as much as the next but there is a line I won't cross. It's not about jokes with you and /talk, it's about antagonizing people.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:22, Reply)

You've got me all wrong there
If I was trying to antagonise Becky I wouldn't have apologised to her. I make inappropriate jokes to deal with horrible situations in real life and online. I'm not doing it for attention or to upset anyone, I'm aiming for that one moment where they, or I, laugh at something we know we shouldn't.

EDIT and the same goes for the things I said to Monty, I was trying to get at him at all, I made the first joke in an attempt to shock him into a laugh, it didn't work, he didn't like me and disregarded what I had said, but the out-pouring of 'oh Bert is so terrible, how could he say such awful things?' from everybody else made me want to keep it going, you lot and your out-crying is ridiculous, it's worse than the daily mail and diana
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)

No one really gives a shit.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Abstract concepts of rape, child abuse etc are treading dangerously as it is.
But when it is aimed at someone personally then it's just not funny, you're on-going barrage of bad jokes about Monty's sister for one.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I thought the budgie one was quite good

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Talk can be fucking hilarious
sure it's full of antagonistic dicks but so is life, ignore them and you'll see some really funny stuff, usually from glued eel and donkey gums who are never unpleasant.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I don't find Donkey gums funny.
He just spouts random lolwacky stuff which I find boring.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Gumsy is hilarious in real life, I appreciate his work.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

It's just a matter of taste is all.
I don't dislike him.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I think it's a cut above the usual lolacky stuff and he does say a lot of genuinely witty things
and also I won't have anyone slagging off my DG so watch it or I'll write you a sternly worded letter.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

GAH! I'm so stupid, of course that's what friends do. They make jokes about their father's being dead and their mothers being alone. How fucking stupid of me to not remember this golden rule.
Why I oughta chuck you on the chin and give you a massive hug for that.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

To me, that's exactly what friends do
but as long as they know each other well enough to realise that there is no ill-feeling behind it, they can both share a giggle at the tragedy, and sheer futility of it all
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Goddamn I wish I had more friends like that.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Well just re-add me on facebook
I miss your five-a-day posts about what's on tv
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

that's what that was about?
Wow that is really douchey.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Likewise I would never bring up that you told me by gaz that you cried at the end of Armageddon when Bruce Willis dies.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Oh em gee, how could you?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I knows
hello again, by the way,
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

You're a wicked bad man and I love you for it.
How's Brighton?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Wet, even the bits that aren't the sea
how's London? (I actually know because I work in Victoria).
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

North london is cold and grey this morning as you know. Clients are grumpy because they're wearing flip flops and having their dogs pee on their feet by mistake
And and old woman with Alzheimers keeps calling me every half hour since 8am to find out when her appointment is.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)

That's working in Whitehall for you though eh?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Nah, I work on Abbey Road :)
Even more shitcunts than at Whitehall. They all want to know where the beatles crossed the road. Erm...Liverpool mate!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)