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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Weekend thread
So what are you delicious mongs up to this weekend?
I'm going to my BFF's tomorrow to watch the football and I'm hanging out on the South bank on Sunday. In between, I shall be eating delectable food and sleeping a lot.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:17, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I shall be steadfastly avoiding the football
The lady's off Sunday, and the loose plan is to go get pierced. I'm thinking septum or industrial.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:20, Reply)
Ouch either way then really

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:25, Reply)
A momentary ouch, sure

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:35, Reply)
The worst bit is trying to remember not to turn over and sleep on the side where the piercing is for a while.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)
Yeah, I remember the annoyance I felt
When I had both ears pierced at 4mm, and had my arm tattoo done.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)
I'm not bothered about the football
But I have got a lot of plants to be put into my garden.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:25, Reply)
my rose bush has a rose on it!
I'm very excited.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)
Mine has 3
And shitloads of greenfly...
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:44, Reply)
get some ladybirds

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Wiggy killed all the greenfly with spray.
He only told me afterwards that it kills ladybirds as well. Sadface.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)
I have to stay up late tonight to pick my sister up from the airport at 1am in the morning.
A nice curry from our favorite place tomorrow eve, dog sitting and ferrying my sister around.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:25, Reply)
ugh this weekend is going to reek
Sat I have to try and write 11000 words for my masters. Have not yet written 1. Sun I have to work ALL DAY. How grim is this?

But. But. On the plus side a big gang of us are going to maggie's on sat night, the 80s bar all decked out with pics etc of milk-snatcher. It sounds so bad it must be good!
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:31, Reply)
Aside from Saturday night, that does all sound very grim.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:34, Reply)
When you say 'masters'
I'm assuming you are referring to a higher degree rather than those who enslave you?

Or perhaps not.

Edit - and what does 'milk-snatcher' mean? I'm confused!
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:35, Reply)
Margaret Thatcher, aka the Milk Snatcher
She stopped schools giving out free milk.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)
Oh, I see!
Hence Maggie's. I can be a bit thick sometimes.

*slaps own face*
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:39, Reply)
I don't care, Becky
I just don't care anymore

*cries*
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:32, Reply)
*sings*
I can't smile without you,
I can't live without you,
I can't sleep, and I can't sing,
Or walk around or do anything

*snot-sobs*
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:36, Reply)
There there Bert.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:37, Reply)
We were meant to be together, BGB
and she knows it, that's why it hurts so much

:'(
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)
Oh fuck off you needy beaker
You fucked up, now you have to accept that I think you're a dickless mong
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:42, Reply)
Heeheehee!
I thought you had me on ignore?!

I love you Becky, thank you for reminding me that I am a flaccid, impotent human wart
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)
I did until I could see replies mounting up and couldn't read them
Putting you back on it very soon. Find another reason to be on b3ta. This isn't healthy
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)
What isn't healthy?
I've only just started enjoying my return.

If you mean that the terrible things I've said aren't healthy, I think you might be wrong. So many of you here seem to think that it's not possible to say horrendous, innapropriate things and still be a good person, but you're wrong.
Sure, I've crossed lines here that nobody else does, but compared to /talk I'm pretty tame, and they can't all be be bad people.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:55, Reply)
And why do you think most of us don't go on /talk?

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:00, Reply)
Because most of you
Are soft, unpopular and over-sensitive.

This may be a chat forum, but it is still on a sick joke website. If you post very personal details in public, some idiot like me is bound to come along and say inappropriate things about it, so going 'waaaaah! Bert made a nasty joke about something personal I revealed online' is just daft.

There are things Becky and I have talked about by gaz and text, personal things for both of us, which I would never bring up on here. There was no malice meant in my post that upset Becky, I was just starting to consider her my friend, but I make inappropriate jokes, it's just who I am. I do it in real life too, and get away with it because I'll finish off my sickening repartee with a cheeky smile, a hug and maybe receive a kick in the nuts
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)
Nope that's not it.
Talk is rarely funny and I like sick humour as much as the next but there is a line I won't cross. It's not about jokes with you and /talk, it's about antagonizing people.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:22, Reply)
You've got me all wrong there
If I was trying to antagonise Becky I wouldn't have apologised to her. I make inappropriate jokes to deal with horrible situations in real life and online. I'm not doing it for attention or to upset anyone, I'm aiming for that one moment where they, or I, laugh at something we know we shouldn't.

EDIT and the same goes for the things I said to Monty, I was trying to get at him at all, I made the first joke in an attempt to shock him into a laugh, it didn't work, he didn't like me and disregarded what I had said, but the out-pouring of 'oh Bert is so terrible, how could he say such awful things?' from everybody else made me want to keep it going, you lot and your out-crying is ridiculous, it's worse than the daily mail and diana
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)
WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)
No one really gives a shit.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Abstract concepts of rape, child abuse etc are treading dangerously as it is.
But when it is aimed at someone personally then it's just not funny, you're on-going barrage of bad jokes about Monty's sister for one.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)
I thought the budgie one was quite good

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Talk can be fucking hilarious
sure it's full of antagonistic dicks but so is life, ignore them and you'll see some really funny stuff, usually from glued eel and donkey gums who are never unpleasant.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I don't find Donkey gums funny.
He just spouts random lolwacky stuff which I find boring.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Gumsy is hilarious in real life, I appreciate his work.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)
It's just a matter of taste is all.
I don't dislike him.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I think it's a cut above the usual lolacky stuff and he does say a lot of genuinely witty things
and also I won't have anyone slagging off my DG so watch it or I'll write you a sternly worded letter.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)
GAH! I'm so stupid, of course that's what friends do. They make jokes about their father's being dead and their mothers being alone. How fucking stupid of me to not remember this golden rule.
Why I oughta chuck you on the chin and give you a massive hug for that.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)
To me, that's exactly what friends do
but as long as they know each other well enough to realise that there is no ill-feeling behind it, they can both share a giggle at the tragedy, and sheer futility of it all
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)
Goddamn I wish I had more friends like that.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Well just re-add me on facebook
I miss your five-a-day posts about what's on tv
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)
that's what that was about?
Wow that is really douchey.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)
Likewise I would never bring up that you told me by gaz that you cried at the end of Armageddon when Bruce Willis dies.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)
Oh em gee, how could you?

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I knows
hello again, by the way,
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)
You're a wicked bad man and I love you for it.
How's Brighton?
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Wet, even the bits that aren't the sea
how's London? (I actually know because I work in Victoria).
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)
North london is cold and grey this morning as you know. Clients are grumpy because they're wearing flip flops and having their dogs pee on their feet by mistake
And and old woman with Alzheimers keeps calling me every half hour since 8am to find out when her appointment is.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)
That's working in Whitehall for you though eh?

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Nah, I work on Abbey Road :)
Even more shitcunts than at Whitehall. They all want to know where the beatles crossed the road. Erm...Liverpool mate!
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)
Shit happens Bert.
I've been reminded of that recently.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)
Aw, BGB
Now I actually am sad.

You can have a hug for your efforts

*hug*
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)
Thanks it's appreciated, especially from you.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)
Congratulations, Bert
Looks like your mission to get some new posts on the Popular page yesterday worked well.

The ducks are safe.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:37, Reply)
Well that's something, I suppose
but don't try to console me, K2, until Becky re-friends me on facebook there will always be an empty space in my heart
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:43, Reply)
Presumably
Giganticock is not amused either?
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)
Gigantacock is always amused

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)

m ro
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Breaking out the Party Rings and Dr Pepper
and celebrating a (very eventful) year with Catface.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)
Happy Anniversary!

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)
Do you think you could clone a few more of him for us unlucky ladies?
Oh and Woo!
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)
Wow, is it really a year already?
Congratulations to you both xx
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)
Football of course
I also spend a lot of time writing on football blogs and what not so *ahem* there will be note taking, there will be extensive essay writage, there will be arguments and there may be a spot of alcohol.

Also scheduled for a jog on Sunday morning so looking forward to that.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:51, Reply)
I've been wii-jogging in the mornings this last week
I'm tired and my legs hurt. Plus the black Miis keep overtaking me.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)
I used to prefer jogging at night
but I'd be knaaaaaackered.

This first thing malarky seems to give me more energy, and I come into work feeling fresh and energised. Very strange.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)
I do my WiiFit before work and it really does make me feel more awake by the time I get to work
although on the evenings that I do dancing it means I'm wide awake when I get home because of all the endorphins and shit.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Seeing old friends in Liverpool
That's about it
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:53, Reply)
The football's on at 11.30 here,
and me and several Merkins are going to join some of my English friends at a bar for an English breakfast. Wait, that's Saturday.

Tomorrow, I'm getting up at stupid o'clock to watch South Africa vs Mexico, and will try to refrain from playing and singing along to "I've never met a nice south african". And then Sunday is the not being miserable or fishing for sympathy, seriously memorial service.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:53, Reply)
I'm cooking and relaxing tomorrow, may get a walk in the lush sunshine we're due.
Then Sunday afternoon is the first meeting of my new walking group. There'll be eleven people there by the looks. Result!
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)
are you ramblers?
I hated ramblers when I lived in the countryside.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)
I bet they have walking poles, long socks and beards

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)
Two out of three isn't bad
for me anyway. Oh, I've just ordered walking socks. The others are a pretty normal bunch though.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:19, Reply)
I don't get the pole thing, is it because of all the real ale you've drunk and you're a little unsteady

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:23, Reply)
Very useful in the wet and mud
cos it's like a third leg. Aha. I've found it less useful in the summer though except for thrashing the fuck out of nettles.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:28, Reply)
I do go on a bit sometimes.
Nah, ramblers are cunts. We're walkers.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:18, Reply)
I have to go and steam clean the carpet of my rental property to let it out again
because the stupid bastard previous tenants smoked all over even though they were contractually obliged not to. It's covered in cigarette burns and smell.

Other than that I'll be sewing and doing college work, nothing very exciting.

I'm considering applying for a new job in a barristers chambers as well because it's lots of money.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)
Can/Have you withheld some or all of their deposit?

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:10, Reply)
Yeah,
they barely paid much deposit in the first place so I kept it all. The guy wanted to pay the deposit in instalments so I said that anything he paid up to the full amount, until he paid the full amount, I would keep. He didn't pay it all so I'm keeping it all. Other than the smoking thing they were pretty good tenants, albeit a bit annoying. Because I did it all myself rather than through letting agents they used to ring me and ask me to come over for stupid things.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Sounds like a ballache :/
Glad you could keep the deposit, should help get it all sorted.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I've given it to letting agents now, they can deal with annoying tenants.
They rung me yesterday to tell me the council had asked if I would consider letting the place to 'vulnerable' people. I had to say no, although I did feel bad about it. Whilst I would like to help genuine people in need, most 'vulnerable' people are the ones who will just trash the place and never clean it. To me it's not just about getting my rent paid on time, it's about how they'll treat the place as well.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Don't blame you
At the end of the day, if they trash your house there's generally no comeback, and you're left with the bill.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I feel bad for saying no DSS but I just don't trust them.
I even have a friend who is on DSS because as soon as she had a baby her partner slipped and fell down the stairs, putting his arm through a window and ripping all his tendons, rendering his right arm useless for a long time, so they're genuine people who are on DSS and she was saying how hard it was for them to find a place to rent.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Yeah, but knowing your luck (I don't, but going to assume here)
You'll get a family of delinquents who'll smoke drugs, smash everything and run a brothel in there.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)
exactly, it does seem when I try and give out good karma I just get shit back.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)
We've already discussed Karma, you and I
I still have the picture of the cat.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Oh noes!
Don't hurt the kitty!
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I saw a job advertised in Manchester working for NICE
be afraid.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:11, Reply)
I meant be afraid that I might apply for it,
probably wont though.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:11, Reply)
who's NICE?
We can be lunch buddies :D

EDIT: You already answered the NICE question so nevermind
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)
The biscuit company?

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)
The people who decide how much your life is worth.
but in a nice way.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)
It's not nice when they say £3.87

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)
You've got to be honest.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)
This means if I get cancer I qualify for some paracetamol

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:22, Reply)
I'm meant to be going to a bbq tomorrow
but it might be rained off, so football will be the highlight of the weekend.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:08, Reply)
No rain due tomorrow around here.
Assuming your gig is in MK. news.bbc.co.uk/weather/forecast/2201?&search=milton%20keynes&itemsPerPage=10®ion=uk&area=Milton%20Keynes
In fact most of England will be sunny for most of the day.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)
I imagine MK to exist under a constant layer of grey clouds.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)
It's always sunny in MK

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I bet you've never seen the sun and you've mistaken a lampost for it.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:55, Reply)
I've just realised that one my new friends in Manchester
used to live in MK but had to leave because of bad shit going down. He said he loved it there but he can't go back.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Ha, that makes it sound like we're run by the mafia.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)
It was drugs stuff that wasn't entirely his fault
you MK kids and your drugs.

On a completely separate note, do you think that in a covering letter to a prospective employer they would appreciate personalising the letter? The woman I'm applying to be the PA of has the same name as me, which I was slightly worried might make her not consider me because it would be confusing for the dept. So I was considering putting something like "I hope you won't be put off my the fact we have the same name!" or similar, but I can't decide if it sounds lame or not.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Yeah that's lame,
I wouldn't do it.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)
thought so, but was just trying to make it seem like I'd actually done some research about who I'm going to be working for
as we've just had a load of CVs in and the bosses here dumped certain ones for the dumbest reasons.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Sport - Rugby Eng V Aus tomorrow afternoon
moving seemlessly into Eng V USA football in the evening, then staggering home.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)
Cutting A1 pieces of paper in to 2x2mm squares.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:24, Reply)
Cutting A1 pieces of what?
Ninja edit.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:25, Reply)
I might change it to A1 pieces of dog.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:31, Reply)
but how many cuts will that take?

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)
Finding out is half the fun!

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:31, Reply)
You're going to fail by the way,
the width is an odd number of mm, you'll have to cut them into 1x1mm squares.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:33, Reply)
Because a PAPERCLIP SALESMAN would KNOW!

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:44, Reply)
Homehomehome!
I'm going out tonight, so will be sleepy Saturday. I will also shop and see friends and see a play and bake and try not to be unhappy.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:44, Reply)
Football, football, football...
Oh, and drink :)
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)
I know someone with your username as a real name.

(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:46, Reply)
I have today off work and have just had a bacon butty
I will be doing very little today then tomorrow I am BBQing and football watching. Come on England etc.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:56, Reply)
CHORES
Tonight I'll be going over my To Kill a Mockingbird GCSE notes, because tomorrow I'll be helping my nephew prepare for a timed essay on tension in Chapter 15. Then I'm taking him for tapas.
Tomorrow evening it's Nana's 70th and we're having a little soirée in my folks' house.
Sunday I haz work and household chores to attend to.

At some point amid all this I am hoping to see a mate or two and maybe have a beverage. In the house, not in the pub as I am skint.
(, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

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