The only time to be happy is in the present
If you look to the past you will always want what you seethrough your rose tinted glasses, if you look to much to the future you will always be pining for something that is just out of reach, only by living in the present can you be truely happy.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:15, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thank you Confucius

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

My pleasure; you see under my scalely exterior lies a delicate and sensitive heart

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

delicate and sensitive heart colossal gaybo
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Shirter

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Fuckin' Hippy

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

a bit greetings card for me
it's good advice but near impossible to take. I would give a large amount to be the same person I was four years ago rather than the person I am now
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

You can learn from the past, just don't wish for it or regret it.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

even when it is demonstrably better?
I'm not disagreeing with your advice, I'm just saying its almost impossible to carry out. I'm moving on with my life, but it's just fact that I'd prefer to be who I was 4 years ago. Doesn't mean I cry all the time thinking about it, just that I don't see the present as a great place to be
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Same here.

( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Of course it's pretty much impossible, but worth a try
Also by focusing on the present and dealing with whatever issues are currently important you can begin to increase your quality of life and you'll be as happy as you were 4 years ago.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

really?
the only thing better about me 4 years ago was that I was 4 years younger.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

And 4 stone heavier...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

maybe 2 stone heavier
I discovered last night that I've got to the point where my beard is longer than my hair, and my hair isn't particularly short.

this pleases me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Still 2 stone is a decent amount to lose and more importantly to keep off
Are you going to 'metal-plat' your beard?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

it is indeed
I've got to the point where I can pretty much eat whatever and still keep it off, or carry on getting thinner.

I tried on a paif of 32" waist shorts the other day and could put them on without undoing the fly, and I know buy medium shirts etc. rather than XL.

I'm going to do something with it. It's about the right length for getting a bead in the end now. need to find a smallish metal bead that I can open and shut like a clasp....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Yeah, its cancer mate

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

bugger
I've still got a bit of portliness, so it'd better hurry up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

There there, i'm sure it'll metastasize soon

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

let's hope so
how's you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Not bad thanks, how's you?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

pretty good ta
and this morning has gone by rather quickly which is nice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Slightly different for me
Four years ago is pre-illness. Back when I was still happy, optimistic and pretty much bursting with confidence
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

illness is a fucker

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

yup
I mean it's impossible to tell I've been ill thankfully, but it has definitely left it's mark mentally
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

that sucks
:-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

haha sorry
am being really emo today because it's the date of my being released from hospital. Not usually this emo
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

only mildly emo I'd say
and it was at least part of a conversation.

I'm one of those awful people to whom basically nothing bad has ever happened. I am aware of how lucky I am.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

well that's an excellent thing :)
to be honest, I'm really lucky as well. Three days after admittance they still weren't entirely sure of my diagnosis. There was a choice of two. One was what I had, which while nasty and extremely scary meant I'd get better, the other was MS
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

a relief for you I'm sure
are you over it now (other than mentally) or could it come back?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

there's a 5% chance
that I could develop the chronic form, and a 0.5% chance that I could just simply catch it again. The odds sound good but it's a 100,000 to one that you get it in the first place (no reason why it happens- its not genetic, not a bug, it's not catching or anything)
However I was told after a few months it would be two years before I walked again. Six months in total and I was back on my feet. Two years on I look absolutely fine, and have no visual residuals which is a massive relief
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

sounds like a weird illness
good work on the recovery though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Cheers
yeah it's a weird illness. No-one has ever heard of it unless they know someone whose been affected. Though med students do come up and ask me a lot about it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

me too
No one really close to me has ever died, I've never been seriously ill and bad shit has never really gone down, so I'm a pretty happy person most of the time.

I think this is why I'm so bad at understanding other people's depression, I've just felt like that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I'm the same
no family dramas, nothing like that.

most of my old friends are similar, so it came as a bit of a shock getting to uni and meeting lots of people with baggage of some kind or other.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

my best friend from school suffers from depression
it seemed to start in 6th form and she went off the rails for a while. It was so hard to deal with as she wouldn't tell me anything about it and I didn't know how to handle it all. She seems to be mostly ok now, I still have to almost force her to open up about stuff though, she just bottles things up and doesn't talk about her problems.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

since being back in Devon I've not had any dealings with anything of that sort
my friends are all too devoted to living it up to have anything else get in the way.

even my good friends whose IVF has failed 4 times don't seem too peturbed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

A few people I know suffer from depression in varying forms/severity
I regularly don't know how to handle it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I like how Noel dealt/deals with it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I was talking to someone with depression while you were having this conversation.
I was well sensitive.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:22, Reply)

well done,
I'm impressed. Unless of course you're lying, in which case BAD CHOMPY!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I called her a furry
and an idiot, but it was only banter innit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Same same
I know I'm lucky, was brought up by two loving parents who are still in love with each other and are completely awesome!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Mine too
I've been very lucky myself. I'm grateful for what I have, and I try my best to keep my chin up.

I've got a lot to be thankful for- I'm in decent physical health, apart from being larger than I ought, some lovely supportive friends, and a reasonable stab at doing well/decently at uni.

Of course there's the flipside of the fact two members of the four of us are nutters, one's neurotic and the other's a workoholic.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

mine too
they had their 40th anniversary last weekend. since my dad retired he's actually become really chilled out (in comparison) and it's quite a pleasure to see them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I'm generally happy
My folks have been together 33 years and I'm totally adored.
But the worst kind of depression is the one where there's 'no reason'.
I've had it and my dad's had it. That is scary.
I've learnt how to keep it the fuck away from me now *touches wood*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I certainly wasn't happy when I was 15
but I don't know if I was happier than I am now.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

No-one that is 15 is happy, fact
Too many hormones and too much angst.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I was 15
when I first started to grow my beautiful flappy hair.

I probably wasn't an especially happy person at the time, but beautiful flappy hair would have helped alleviate things.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Probably the year I was 15 was the happiest time for a while
I had a steady boyfriend, I'd have fun, I had some angst with friends but nothing that was too bad (14 was much worse) and the last few months were incredibly happy.

October 2006, shit seriously went down.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

But only if you take control of the present
Because you're not going to be 'truely [sic]' happy if the present is a bit shit, are you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)