Well, funny story
I've just moved down to London (from Stamford) and I'm in my new house. Only my furniture isn't here yet.

I'm going back to bring a van on Saturday morning. So I have a big, empty house with 1) a camp bed and chair 2) my laptop and broadband dongle and 3) some food.

Yep. I'm camping in my own house. The neighbours probably think I'm scum. Well I'm not. Though I did drink beer in the bath last night for something to do.

Today I've found a strange, hidden cupboard in the bedroom, about person sized (tall, not very deep or wide) with a full lenght mirror in it. And a lock on the outside.

What the actual fuck?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:14, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's probably for a very shy narcissist.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:34, Reply)

NARNIA

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:37, Reply)

Nah! that's a wardrobe, not a cupboard.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:39, Reply)

why would a cupboard be in a bedroom anyway?
there's probably a person behind the mirror
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:41, Reply)

A DEAD PERSON MAYBE : /
And I have a cupboard in my bedroom. Must be an British thing.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:41, Reply)

Or it's a two way mirror where when the light is flicked on the other person can see through but you can't and oh man SEXY FUCKING TIEMS

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:42, Reply)

This:
Is the closest to what I feel is the truth. Still, I hope I can steal their gold. Or at least make a fancy hat from their bones. That'll pass the time.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:42, Reply)

See how long you can stand in the cupboard before you start to feel silly.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:44, Reply)

What room does the wall back on to?
Turn light on in that room, close self in cupboard, not likely to be a peep hole, but worth a shot
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:44, Reply)

you can't break the mirror to find out!
7 years bad luck!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:45, Reply)

The fuck am I going in the Murder Cupboard
I bet that's where the bad thing happened.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Gwan!
I double dare you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Thing is....
If I go in there and some angry Native American ghosts (or whatever) kill me, I won't be able to tell you that I did your dare.

Look, it's a fucking scary cupboard. I'm not going in it. Maybe I can find a poor person to be a guinea pig instead?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:49, Reply)

why would a Native American ghost be in your cupboard in London?
doesn't even make sense
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:51, Reply)

Uhh?
They gotta be somewhere?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 22:16, Reply)

Get in the cupboard you big poof.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:52, Reply)

fuck if I would
I had a hard enough time going in my mates basement at night
I'm a MASSIVE scaredy cat.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Well I'd stand in it and I'm bleedin claustraphobic.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:59, Reply)

oh, I'm not at all
in fact...I quite like tight spaces
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 21:06, Reply)

... best of all the volumes.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 21:09, Reply)

Probably where you're sleeping, more like

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:50, Reply)

Sounds like someone was trying to plagiarise C.S. Lewis
but to avoid detection, they changed two things.

• They used a cupboard instead of a wardrobe
• Instead of writing a book, they manifested their idea into the real-world instead.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 21:01, Reply)

That'll be the auto erotic asphyxiation cupboard then

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 21:19, Reply)

are you trying to tell us you aren't tempted to have a fist kebab in the cupboard?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Well, I have considered it.
Then I thought that it probably is a murder box.

Which actually made the idea even more appealing...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 22:16, Reply)

what is a fist kebab?
is this some degeneracy I have not heard of?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 22:28, Reply)

imagine if you will, a fist impaled on some kind of stick, kebab-style
what might that stick be? if it were, perhaps, a penis, what might that mean?

;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)