while I was ripping the ceiling down in the back bedroom of my house
I was fully kitted out in protective gear.

Unfortunately it didn't help when I was reaching up with crowbar in right hand to prize a piece of ceiling loose, while holding the piece of ceiling with my left hand above my head, as a big round piece of ceiling rolled down my arm at speed and hit me in the ear.

this summer I intend to surf as much as possible!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:30, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You must have forgotten
your steel earcaps. The HSE would have a field day with you.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I know
it was a shocking lapse on my part.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Stick with it
+pro n f p t se
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)

That took far more working out
than was justifiable by the result!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I know, I know
But once I'd thought of it I had to see it through.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I liked it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

convoluted yet effective strikethrough
/ac
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I would wear pink earmuffs to prevent that happening.
I love how earmuffs became acceptable again this winter, it made me happy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:35, Reply)

They had some "stylish" and "manly" earmuffs in primark this winter
they were ridiculous. I wish I'd seen someone wearing some in all seriousness
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I have a pair of earmuffs
which I wore in my car in the winter as the heating doesn't work very well
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Is that your special pair?
You made from all the offcuts you collected from the skip outside the labiaplasty clinic?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:48, Reply)

ewwwwwwwww
what is with you and labia?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Outside of my name
I think my above line has been the first time I've mentioned it in a long time. You talk about pole all the time, allow me to love the vagina!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)

fine.
I do love pole.

Polepolepolepolepolepolepolepolepole
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I LOVE VAGINA

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:08, Reply)

ahh
the lesser known sequel to I Like Breasts
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I like watching the surfers from the pier.
Being a bit wussy when it comes to the ocean, surfers always impress me.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

When I was in Newquay
all the surfers were jerks. They were all like "look at me, I'm a surfer, aren't I fucking cool". Some of them even barged me and my friends out of the way to run at the sea, shouting "we gotta catch that wave!", it was super lame.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

the good surfers in and around newquay
don't surf in newquay

there is a big attitude problem in the whole area to be honest.

North Devon is much more relaxed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:50, Reply)

^this^
None of the surfers I know will go near Newquay because its full of windscreen waxing pricks.
( Peej, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Surfing is a way of life here - I live in the next town over from Huntington Beach which is known as Surf City (officially)
It's a case of if you don't like it, find another beach.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)

people like to think it is a way of life here
but it's just not consistent enough.

I fucking love surfing, not because it is cool or any of that bollocks, but because it is so fucking awesome to do it. It feels like nothing else I've experienced.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I feel that way about pole.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

No strikethrough necessary

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Is that the place the beach boys were singing about?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

they mention an awfully large number of beaches in a couple of their songs

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

they are the boys of the beach
Steps only ever sung about elevation solutions.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)

if only

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Yep
they say it's where surfing originated.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

they are wrong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Doesn't surprise me.
But you know, the yanks have to take credit for everything!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:06, Reply)

it was a polynesian thing
fucking yanks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:08, Reply)

My favourite thing about surfing is that the board wax
is called sexwax.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Pervert

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)

and there's a brand called kanagaroo poo
those surfers and their lolz.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)

pfft

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

there's a new one called Far King
Kangeroo Poo is more a clothing brand these days

other popular waxes include: Mrs Palmers and Sticky Bumps

Can't beat good old Mr Zog's Sex Wax in my opinion.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:02, Reply)

In Oz I always used Mother Palm and her Five Daughters wax

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)

wait a minute....that's not real is it?
nearly had me there
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

it almost certainly is real

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

No it really is
Virtually every type of surf wax is named after a crude eumphamism for masturbating or sex. It's really hilarious when you buy it. Honestly. I've never laughed so hard in my life. I nearly wet myself in a shop once I was laughing so hard.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:10, Reply)

it's like that every time
the jokes never get old!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:12, Reply)

seriously?
really honestly intnt srs bsns?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I would happily repeat this to you OFFLINE
with a straight face. But then again I am a very good liar. But this really is true.

www.surfsurfsurf.co.uk/surf_wax/mrs_palmers_surf_wax/mrs_palmers_5_daughters_surf_wax_cold_water_surfboard_wax
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Mrs Palmers makes a few sorts
and her standard one is probably the most popular wax here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I used the Massive Mounds once
but I can't say it produced smaller harder nipples as promised. They all seemed much of a muchness to be honest.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

they are much of a muchness
I find that sex wax remains as lumps longer than other stuff, which just tends to go flat and uniform and slippery.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)

This is funny.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I think
Point Break taught me that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Point Break is freaking awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I love that film
far too much
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:08, Reply)

me too
actually, no, I love it the right amount, because it is fucking great
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)

this film he loved too little
this film he loved too much

this film was juuuuuuuust right.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

like a bizarre version of Goldilocks

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:20, Reply)

where goldilocks shagged daddy bear
and I was the resultant offspring
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I don't go for bears
I prefer twinks
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

don't we all

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

charming

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

just joking
twinks (at least scene ones who identify as that) are usually bitchy and shallow, while bears are much nicer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I was more referring to build etc.
:-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

are those terms only gay
or are they straight these days too?

not that I'd ever describe myself as a bear anyway.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Nope, still gay
but I like gays. A lot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

fair enough
I don't know many
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

paging Darth Foxtrot
Darth Foxtrot to the pink courtesy phone
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)