I'm feeling exceedingly grim.
I had a horrendous nightmare last night.
I dreamed I was trying to shag Jo Brand but my cock got a bend in it and wouldn't go in.
I woke up not knowing whether to be upset at the content or the bent cock.
Then I realised it was a dream and got quite worried as to what depths my subconscious dragged that up from.
Kill me now please.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:37, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On the bright side
at least you didn't shag Jo Brand.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I am speechless
What the fuck, Porky?
I dreamt about kinky things though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)

You were probably thinking of me.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:41, Reply)

You bent cock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I think this is connected with yesterday's plumbing incidents.
No need to worry, your cock will drop off soon enough.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Thank fuck for that.
I thought I was weird or summat. On the internet and everything.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I'm good at interpreting dreams
I have a coat of many colours too.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Pikey.
Buy a new one, never mind all that mending and stuff.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Your knob's still going to drop off.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I hate it when you're asleep
but you get an erection, and accidentally roll onto your front, virtually snapping the little bugger in half, and then you bounce back onto your back and wake up with an awkward feeling in your pants
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)

If you don't roll over all the way
you wake up like a motorbike leaning on a kickstand.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

How did you know about that? I never mentioned it ever!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I hate it when you post on B3ta.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I dreamt that Wiggy got me an iPhone and I broke it
I suspect this is because I want an iPad but it's so expensive that I can't be trusted with it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)