Oh man, I've got a cold
Whyyy?
Colds are for winter so that you can have hot chocolate and floppy toast, like when everyone got snowed in last January. Remember that? It was ace.

What ails you people today?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:09, 286 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I stupidly assented
to drunken fight club on Sunday night. It was only play fighting but I still ache like a total bitch though.
I suppose that'll teach me not to be a moron (although it probably won't) Sorry to hear about your cold - take the day off and try and enjoy the sunshine!
(berk, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:17, Reply)

I fell over and got a leg to my nose on Friday
I think I have whiplash.
That just reminded me of a dream I had last night.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:19, Reply)

Yeah, I think I
recall reading yesterday that you faceplanted running for the tube after the bash. How was it? (the bash, not the faceplanting) I'm uber looking forward to my first bash on Saturday. *excites*
(berk, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Faceplant!
Will my attempts to label djtp a wifebeater not stick!?

Yeah from what I recall, Friday was a blast. I didn't speak to Al enough, or thank him for organising a cracking bevvy. Maybe I did, but I don't remember.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:33, Reply)

He doesn't look like he could beat a bowl of eggs.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Looks are deceiving, Beege ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

We didn't get to talk much either
I was there on Friday, honest.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Isn't the 1st rule of drunken fight club not to mention drunken fight club?

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Possibly
Although it was more of a 70:30 arsing about and giggling:thumping each other.
(berk, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:31, Reply)

I have sciatica
But I've had it for ages, so nothing new there. My mum and dad were at mine last night and have ridiculous colds. I hope I don't get it too.

Better not be spreading your internet germs around here, Roota!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:17, Reply)

Atchoooo!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:19, Reply)

*puts up umbrella*

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:20, Reply)

I have toothache
and it really hurts. I am also a dental coward.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:25, Reply)

When was the last time a dentist hurt you?
It will be fine. Go get rid of the ache.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Its the injections that I fear
They use blunt 6" nails.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:41, Reply)

Ach, they go in no bother though
with the judicious application of a 2lb hammer.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:43, Reply)

You must go to the same dentist as me.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)

I used to be shit scared of dentists..........................
Then I became a grown up.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Helpful advice there
I want sympathy.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Just remember that a mouthful of rotting teeth is much worse than a quick jab of a needle now and again.
It bloody hurts even when I'm just having a clean and polish but I'd rather go through that then lose my teeth.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

You just don't understand.
I'm a man, with man pain.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Shall I come and hold your hand?
*awaits strikethrough*
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Yes please.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Gosh you are a wimp aren't you.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Only in the dental injection department.
I'm OK with the rest.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I had my teeth cleaned last Friday
and it was horrible. I spent the whole time thinking I would rather be having a tattoo.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I've just got an apointment for this afternoon
so the telling off I got earlier worked. Cheers BGB.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I must be the only person that
likes the dentist! I even like the injections :/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:50, Reply)

sicko

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

my bank account.
it looks at me forlornly and says "Put money in me Poppet!" but I never do....
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:28, Reply)

The lack of a comma
makes that read like 'poppet' is a euphemism!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:31, Reply)

I have pelvic girdle pain.
On the plus side, today's calendar says: "Coffee at 11am" and that's it.
/croissant
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:29, Reply)

I've run out of instant coffee
But don't have pelvic girdle pain.
Let's call it a draw.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:30, Reply)

It's like being randomly knifecrimed in the groin.
Cake with the coffee will help elevate my mind above the suffering.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Jesus
Babies are vicious little fuckers.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Well I have a pelvic griddle pan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Made from whose pelvis?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:34, Reply)

*tries to think of someone who's not been heard of since Al's booze-up*

*gives up. Tries to think of who was at Al's booze-up*

*gives up*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Al's pelvis!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:39, Reply)

He'll do nicely.

IT'S AL'S PELVIS, ROOTA. AL'S.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Nooo waaaaaay

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Nah, al's pelvis has been shattered due to repeated frenetic bicycle shagging.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Good job his fiancee's a figment of his imagination then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:50, Reply)

that's hot

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I'm feeling fine *big grin*

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:29, Reply)

That is excellent news
Because often you're a right moaning bugger!

:-)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:32, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Hooray!
Bash soon. More hooray!
(berk, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:32, Reply)

She's on glue!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:34, Reply)

*sniffs*

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Sitting on the swings sniffing a bag of glue

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

With a neck full of love bites and pocket full of dockers.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)

^ sounds like that cunt Ian Dury

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

aside from my bankaccount I'm fine too.
I went opshopping today for my dressup day at school tomorrow. got white ankle boots, pvc jacket and a red boatneck top. Paired with a black denim mini and leggings it looks funky.
Can't wait for it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I have a gaping wound in my bank account,
other than that, I am tickety-boo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Speaking of gaping wounds...
did you behave on holiday? I haven't been round here much so might have missed any news.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:35, Reply)

Good sir, I behaved impeccably.
She was, as current parlance would have it, 'begging for it', and yet my flaming sword of justice remained firmly within its doughty scabbard at all times.

I would not have put money on this result myself. I am enormously pleased with myself. Now I can pursue this fucking northerner I fancy without feeling like a grotty minge-hound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Tremendous!
Get in there.

(I initially read 'doughty' as 'doughy' and wondered wtf you'd been doing!)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:42, Reply)

I made the same mistake
but I just accepted it as typical Monty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:55, Reply)

me too
I didn't question it
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I can't stop farting
I try to keep my weekend farts to a minimum, but that's going to change soon...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:36, Reply)

I'm feeling exceedingly grim.
I had a horrendous nightmare last night.
I dreamed I was trying to shag Jo Brand but my cock got a bend in it and wouldn't go in.
I woke up not knowing whether to be upset at the content or the bent cock.
Then I realised it was a dream and got quite worried as to what depths my subconscious dragged that up from.
Kill me now please.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:37, Reply)

On the bright side
at least you didn't shag Jo Brand.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I am speechless
What the fuck, Porky?
I dreamt about kinky things though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:38, Reply)

You were probably thinking of me.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:41, Reply)

You bent cock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I think this is connected with yesterday's plumbing incidents.
No need to worry, your cock will drop off soon enough.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Thank fuck for that.
I thought I was weird or summat. On the internet and everything.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I'm good at interpreting dreams
I have a coat of many colours too.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Pikey.
Buy a new one, never mind all that mending and stuff.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Your knob's still going to drop off.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I hate it when you're asleep
but you get an erection, and accidentally roll onto your front, virtually snapping the little bugger in half, and then you bounce back onto your back and wake up with an awkward feeling in your pants
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)

If you don't roll over all the way
you wake up like a motorbike leaning on a kickstand.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

How did you know about that? I never mentioned it ever!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I hate it when you post on B3ta.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I dreamt that Wiggy got me an iPhone and I broke it
I suspect this is because I want an iPad but it's so expensive that I can't be trusted with it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I'm not answering this
Until you provide an alternative question
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:42, Reply)

I think the last line could be the alternative question
As there are already two other questions in the OP. Albeit rhetorical ones...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Yeah but he's a greedy fucker

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)

It's a deal

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:44, Reply)

What causes you mild discomfort?
An errant seam on your grundies? A broken nail that snags on your clothes? Or a sole not properly stuck on a shoe?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Alt Q:
Who here is disappointed to discover that a ‘lifetime ban’ is about as ‘lifetime’ as a fucking ‘life’ sentence?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Welcome back Monters old chap.
To both you and your vicious bile. Missed you were.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Are you Yoda?
(hello sir)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Small, green, bald, wrinkly.
Three out of four, Yoda I might be.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

No one wants to hear about your scrotum, pal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I made myself a smoothie this morning
out of frozen berries, yoghurt and milk. I got the proportions all wrong and now I feel weird after drinking it all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:56, Reply)

how can you screw that up????

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:58, Reply)

you'd be surprised at what can be done when one is still half asleep

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:59, Reply)

tsk tsk.
oh well, least you know for next time now ;)
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

yeah, I know to stick with my tried and tested orange juice and other fruit smoothies
none of this dairy nonsense
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I prefer a bacon roll in the morning
Bugger that healthy stuff!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)

bacon is yuck.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Are you menkle?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:23, Reply)

She must be
It's because she's Forrin!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:25, Reply)

menkle?
no... don't believe so...I just don't like bacon. Haven't eaten it since I was 10.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Large coffee and no grub til lunchtime for Monty.
Food makes me feel sick in the mornings - only fry-ups do not induce nausea in me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:22, Reply)

What was wrong with it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I'm not sure
it didn't taste very berry-y for a start
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I'm sorry for your trouble

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:00, Reply)

that makes me feel better
thanks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Give the berries a chance to defrost.
Numbskull
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I defrosted them using the microwave

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Was it plugged in?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:09, Reply)

it was
they were adequately defrosted after the defrosting procedure had been completed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I'm fresh out of ideas then, sorry.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:12, Reply)

No
He just dropped it on them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Defrosting the berries is a rookie mistake.
Keep 'em frozen but blended for icy goodness.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

surely then it'd be too cold
what proportions do you tend to use?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

small handful of berries, small pot of yoghurt, same again for milk

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

interesting

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

(!)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I have a gammy knee and I have no idea why
Also today is the height of the grass pollen season so anyone with hayfever is totally screwed.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

oh cunt
I forgot to take any hayfever stuff this morning
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

You need gayfever tablets more urgently.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

you are a massive dungheap

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Oh!
Do you think maybe it's my hay fever making me think I have a cold then?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Quite possibly, get yourself some drugs young lady!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I take it just before stepping out of the house

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:08, Reply)

She's in the right city to do that easily.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

This place is crawling with them
but I have never had any idea where to buy them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:30, Reply)

My oldest mate
(my housesitter when I was away) used to travel up your way every other week to get kilos of uncut cocaine fresh off the ships.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I am fed up with this wedding thing already
Each of Mark's papers need the Hague Appostille, at £30/each, which can only be done in Milton Keynes, from 9am to 3pm, so we'll have to take holidays for that.

Each of his papers again need translation, at 10pence/word

The priest of the Anglican Church where he got Christened told him yesterday that nobody in the church is going to sign a paper saying he's single because they don't know him. That rules out a wedding on the Church almost completely.

We've started to receive budgets for the reception afterwards. A very good menu, that is true, but for 90€/person (including drinks during the meal). That doesn't include the DJ, or any music. That doesn't include the 3h open bar afterwards (Spanish tradition, the couple pays for your drinks and food during the whole celebration)

I'm so tempted to just go to the register in Manchester with a couple of friends and get it all sorted in 10 min. My mother would try to kill me, true, but I think it's worth the risk.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Do it, I was sorely tempted to alope
but I fear the rentals would never have forgiven us...less than 3 weeks now!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)

That's the only reason why I'm giving it another chance
If in 2 more weeks we're still having stupid problems with bureocracy, I'll give up.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Bugger tradition and bugger fine food for the guests.
Make the guests pay for drinks and do a buffett.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I suggest volauvents, chicken drumsticks, cocktail sausages and cheese and pineapple on sticks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I can never understand why people put themselves into so much debt for one day's festivities.
I'd rather keep the money for a house or holiday. Bugger the guests. If they don't like it then they can stay away.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:11, Reply)

^ this
£5k on food and drink for spongers (sorry, guests), or off on a trip to the other side of the world?

No brainer.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I do want a big wedding
but I aim to do everything that I can on a budget.

I want to get married at a castle, so that will cost like £5k, which is unavoidable really. But the dress, cake and food I can do quite cheaply. I reckon I'll do all that crap like the table decorations myself as well.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I'm so bad with my hands :(
I wish I could do it all, although the budget includes all the decorations already, and the hotels don't let you do it yourself, because they have arrangements with the flower shop.

I'm going searching for dresses at the end of July. I have the feeling I'm not going to like any and I'll end up getting someone to do it for me.

On the plus side, we found in ebay really beautiful invitations, for less than 30pence/invitation.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:31, Reply)

that's pretty cool
I plan to make everything like that but I've heard that when you're writing the 100th invitation you start to hate your guests.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Yes, I thought about doing them myself
But as I said, I'm crap with my hands. And these are very pretty, with a ribbon in the colour you choose and a little accesory, like a butterfly or a flower or something you choose.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Using my mad photoshop skills I'm making my own invitations
we're intending to get married in a cool looking greenhouse basically, so am getting a pic of that, making it into a black and white line drawing and using that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Aye, we've done our own invites.
I'm going to get them printed on postcards from Moo.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:02, Reply)

How much each?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

£28.99 for 60

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Not bad
It's good to know, in case this woman on ebay says she can't make the Spanish ones.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I'm thinking getting them on compliments slips
because it is the right size and shape. should be cheap enough I reckon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

That sounds really cool
I wish I was better at all this.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

If my ebay dress doesn't fit post-baby
I may have to come looking for a corset instead. (I can make a skirt but not a corset.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Why everybody can make things but me?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Bugger the guests. Repeatedly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I never wanted fine food
I want something filling and nice tasting. It'd be wrong not to pay for the drinks. I'm hoping my father goes along with tradition and pays at least half of it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:25, Reply)

do a massive paella
/stereotype
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Hahaha!
That's exactly what I want. A big filling plate of rice or pasta, and some meat. I don't want pumpking cream in caviar sauce with wild berries, ffs!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I read about a couple whose caterers fucked up and got the wrong day
so the wedding had started and they had no food. The bride's father ran to the chip shop down the road and got 50 orders of fish and chips. Legend.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

That'd be great
My mother is going for all the posh restaurants. I need to talk with my father and explain him what I prefer. At the end of the day, he was going to sort that out, but my mum is too impatient to wait for him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Don't go to Milton Keynes,
Chompy will be waiting for you.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Yeah! he might want to snog you.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Now he's got the taste for it, they'll be no stopping him.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I had forgotten about that
I'm going to have to send a messenger with the papers (£60/paper with the lawyers, only to get it sorted, the appostille price goes apart)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Do it a cheaper way in Spain and claim it's an English tradition.
We're not having an open bar at our wedding. We're providing post-ceremony mulled cider and putting a few bottles of wine on each table for the meal. Any other booze will have to be bought by the guests. I come from a long line of Irish alcoholics so this is my way of avoiding bankruptcy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

we're going to do similar for booze
we're not made of money!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)

To be fair
It's Spanish tradition as well that the guests ask you how much you're paying for head (only food, not the open bar later), and give you a pressent that covers it and a bit more. But I don't want anyone spending that amount of money.

I think £30/person in enough for a more than good meal.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Listen, I was wondering, CH[more letters], could you do us a favour.
I'm never sure when the right time to spark up at the wedding is, some people say I should take the opertunity at the bit where he says "If anyone has any objections, speak now, or forever hold your piece", and that's fine, I don't mind, but it's all a bit public, it would be awfully embarassing if you turn me down. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's day, so can't really say before the church bit. I could wait until the First Dance bit, but ideally if I'm going to take over the role, I'd have learnt the chicken dance just in case. Also, if I leave it until you've signed the legal papers, then I guess that'll be a whole lot of hassle that could be avoided.

I was just wondering, that's all, when's the best time?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Best do it before the actual vows.
Distract the bride with a cute puppy, have a quiet word, promise more puppies in the future.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Cool, and what's the rules about paying for it afterwards?
It wouldn't be fair to take over and expect him to still pay his share, but it's not fair that I pay the full price and don't get to choose things where the ball is set in motion. Sure, simple things like the song for the first dance is an easy one to change, but surely I should be able to pick what we have for the meal and all that if I'm putting..... oh', wait, it's the parents of the bride that pays, isn't it? Oh, fair enough, don't worry about that one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Nah, these days it's the couple that pays.
I suggest you quit uni, get a job and consolidate all your debts into one easy monthly affordable payment plan.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I'm quite happy today
My sister got engaged at the weekend. I would have thought I would be totally bitter about it, but I'm actually really happy for her. This means that I've grown as a person. Aren't you proud of me?

Plus I get to be head bridesmaid and I've never been a bridesmaid before. I've never actually even been to a wedding before.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Wooo, congrats Kitty' sis!
I have been a bridesmaid three times :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Did you know my mother has been married three times and I've never been to any of her weddings.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Well done
I was at my parents' wedding, in a bun-in-the-oven kind of way
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I think I was a bun in the oven too : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

shotgun wedding for the win

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Strikethrough time...
be give

+as the
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Congrats at being head bridesmaid, lots to do for you!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I'm quite excited
sister was never very good at planning parties and I love doing that, so I'm all over it. There will be ice sculptures and doves and flowers and pumpkin carriages. All my research is based on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)

100ft sequinned train FTW.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Never been to a wedding eh?
No matter what anyone else tells you, or shows you photographs of, the bridesmaids all wear duffel coats and balaclavas.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:16, Reply)

duffel coats and balaclavas absolutely nothing
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I told her I plan to upstage her
I think that would do it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Of that
I have no doubt.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)

When I said "Yay, bridesmaid dress!"
she said "you're not wearing anything with skulls on it."

I told her I'm going to get a tattoo on my face the day before the wedding.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Classy

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Full-face spider web, 'cut here' dotted line round neck
couple of backwards swastikas and 'skins' on the forehead.

That's my advice. I've never regretted it myself.

*stabs cellmate*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I think I might get some stars around my eyes
hope I don't fall asleep in the tattoo parlour....
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:29, Reply)

My honest opinion
is that stars will date quite badly a la 'tribal' bollocks - on the face this might become an annoyance in time.

My 'Bay City Rollers' body-suit has become a bit of an albatross for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

yeah, gotta hate those tribal tattoos
*scowls*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:33, Reply)

By all means hate the shit squiggly 'tribal'
But show some respect for proper Polynesian/Maori/Incan tattoos!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Ey! Good for you!
I'm very proud, I am.

Bridesmaid, eh? I'm not having any of those. Well, I'm kind of having them, but they won't have to wear stupid dresses unless they want. And they are called witnesses in Spain.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:33, Reply)

haha that makes it sound like a crime
My bridesmaids will be in black, mourning the death of my single life.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:34, Reply)

hahaha
Mark's brother's wife's bridesmaids were dressed in black, and they looked really nice on the dresses, and very sexy.

We have godmother (his mother) and godfather (my father). Tradition, tradition.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I asked my sister which of her friends would be bridesmaids
but she said that her best friend will complain she can't afford the dress and will whinge about how expensive it all is, if she has her next best friend but not the first one then that will cause problems and there's a third girl who thinks she is my sister's best friend but she's really not, so she's just said 'sod it, I'll just have my sister and no one else'. Absolute power! Mwa ha ha.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I have all of those scenarios and no sisters, so no bridesmaids it would be for me

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:42, Reply)

get your cat dressed up
everyone will think you're just crazy and not question it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Oh my god!
Tigger as my best man!
He would scatch the registrar's face up and rip the seating though...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)

then you can bag yourself £250 on You've Been Framed

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

WIN!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I wouldn't have bridesmaids
I don't have a compatible 'look' and there would be murder over who was the chief bridesmaid blah blah.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:34, Reply)

That's something I don't have to worry about
There had to be something good about doing it Spanish way.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:38, Reply)

My oldest friend from school has made it clear that she thinks marriage is a load of bollocks
and she has utter disdain for it. That makes me not want to include her in my wedding line up because I don't want someone there who thinks the whole thing is stupid, but she's one of my best friends so I want her to be there, which sucks. She can sing so I might ask her to sing with another friend for the aisle-walking bit.

I've put too much thought into this considering I'm no one's fiancee...
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I'm not anyone's fiancee either
But you can't help looking at other people's weddings and thinking "Well I'd do this, this and this..."

My 'best friend' is an obnoxious cow and would have an argument with someone who she knew I really liked. My other 'best friend' is a snob of the highest order (a cover-up for her total commonness).
I have other friends I really love but it would cause murder.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I definitely think that I should be involved in your wedding

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)

In what role do you see yourself?
Wedding planner?
Father of the bride?
Covers band?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:48, Reply)

something important
father of the bride might be pushing it a bit though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Well, we have a while yet
My Dad's only 53 but he may well have long passed by the time someone dares marry me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'd do it tomorrow. You are GRATE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Well what you waiting for!
I'll just go get Mother's pearls!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

See you in a bit!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

This is what I hate.
I'm not a big fan of marriage but a wedding should be all about the couple and not the politics of friends and family.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:50, Reply)

totally this
everyone else can get to fuck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I was reading a sailing blog a bit ago
and the couple on there got married on a beach in the bahamas out of the blue. They weren't even engaged. They flew their parents out urgently the night before and found a local priest type guy to do it, then posted all the pictures on line, saying "sorry friends, we couldn't help it". Half of me would love to do that, but the other half wants a massive fuck off show.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:02, Reply)

A couple of Mark's friends did the same
But in China (she's Chinesse)

The friends are still complaining after years that he owns the a stag do.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

a friend of a friend was in sri lanka
and met a guy, fell in love, and got married in a little sri lankan village. apparently that wasn't enough to satisfy immigration to here or something, so they went to the next village over and had another wedding but with more criteria met. That wasn't good enough either, and for various reasons they ended up getting married 5 or 6 times.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

My mother lost a friend of 20 years over my little sister's wedding.
She could not comprehend that it was not my mother's fault that my sister had not invited her, the twat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Not a very good friend, eh?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Apparently not.
I thought they were quite close (as did my mother). Just goes to show, eh? You never truly know anyone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

that sort of thinking is just completely incomphrensible
it's Hollyoaks thinking. fucking stupid bint. anyone is better off without someone that stupid in their life.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

She made fantastic gravy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

in that case
why the fuck wasn't she invited to the wedding?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

my mrs isn't having any I think
other than maybe our nieces
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Nieces is nice
But It all costs so fuck 'em. I don't have proper nieces anyway.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I think they are more likely to be flower girls or something
the mrs doesn't want a train on her dress or anything so won't need people to hold it and other bridesmaidy tasks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I want there to be no kids at my wedding
but people will probably kick off if I say that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Go to Vegas
Find a Drive-thru wedding chapel ministered by a midget Elvis impersonator.
Done.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Same here
All my friends and cousins have just had a baby or will have it soon. That means around 8 babies on my wedding at least.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I don't want kids at my wedding.
I concede that my baby will have to be there but I don't really like tolerating other peoples' children. Exceptions will be for toddlers of people travelling from overseas but we are already very limited on numbers so they don't get a proper seat at the table. Yeah, I'm mean.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

my bro and the mrs' sister both have newish sprogs
which means I can't say no kids :-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Your face
Actually am not too bad. Granted, my hand is hurting quite a lot, but that's my own fault for being angry at a door.

Am looking forward to the bash on saturday though, anyone heading up from Manchester?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Plentyofants and Bearpookie are coming.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Me, as you know
I don't know when yet, but not too late, as I'll have to finish the food at BGB's house.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)

OH WOE IS ME, CRUEL WORLD, YOU SHALL PAY, CRUEL WORLD, VENGANCE WILL BE MINE.
I can't move my neck more than 10-20% without moving my upper torso, it's been about 2 days of this now, my flatmate says that I'm like Sandy Tozvick (apparently she is also a neckspack). PLUS a filling fell out a couple of days ago and I hate the dentist. PLUS my guts aren't to clever at the moment.

OH WOE IS ME, YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE, CRUEL WORLD, AND I WON'T MISS YOU.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

We can rebuild you
we have the technology.

You were in my dream last night, it was about iPhones.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Oh'aye' ,) for the record, I really am that good.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:38, Reply)

That's presuming you don't want me to look somewhere my body isn't directly facing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:40, Reply)

It means you can do the robot dance :D

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I can't believe you are having sexy sex dreams about gonz
what happened to your dream relationship with me?

this is twice in as many days that you have deeply hurt me Kitty. I'm not sure how much more I can take.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:44, Reply)

It wasn't a sex dream, it was a technology based dream
you and Michael Buble are still sharing the number 1 spot in my dirty subconscious.

Plus you're my b3ta unrequited lover, no one can take that away from you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

awesome
*airpunches*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Oh man, I could act like a really stiff run-down robot and then get someone from the audiance to 'pour oil' on my joints and then do some sweet body-bopping afterwards.
I'd use some Daft Punk as my soundtrack.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I missed you on Friday :(

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Aye, I should have came, but I was all WOE IS ME and ended up not going out.
If it helps though, I did get tarted up to go out, I just changed my mind at the last minute, I wish I changed my mind 10 minutes later when I was on the train and it would have been to late.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I hope it was a tux
That's all I'll say...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Complete with red bow tie and a kuple from "Ben's Batmitziah 1997".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I've forgotten what you look like,
so I am going to imagine that you look like Simon Cowell.
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I kindda look like a very good looking elephant man, or an ugly Amarni model...
... depending on your point of view.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Oh beautiful!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Get an office chair on wheels, some polyfilla and a nappy
job done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I've got a crap shoulder from going climbing at Mile end on Saturday and not warming up properly first
It huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:41, Reply)

You sure it's not from getting flung over a sofa several times on Friday?
Where there's blame there's a claim...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I think it's more likely from where I fell off an indoor climbing wall and banged my shoulder. But yes, I still blame your evil boyfriend. For he is evil. Yes.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:44, Reply)

It's since he cut his hair.

( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)

YES

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Yeah but do we agree he looks better, even if he's now more evil?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Well he doesn't resemble THE LORD OUR GOD anymore. I haven't decided if that's a good thing or not yet though.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I couldn't do it with Our Lord
No way
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

but it would have more meaning when you start screaming the lord's prayer.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Pfft

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

It's like saying the Proclaimers would be less ugly if one of them lost a head.

( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Now is that an oxymoron or just moronic? I forget?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaaaa
Um...you is like well naughty.
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Innit tho!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

braap

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Aight blud?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

word

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

You can go off people, y'know...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I do it all the time.
Al is banned from posting a comment under this post.
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

FILTH

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

FOUR DAYS!

( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

You were doing it all the time for four days?
Bet you were walking funny at the end.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

You'll be walking funny with NO NUTS.

( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I think you'll find
It's raisins that I lack.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

*looks*
Oh you poor man.
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Fucking raisins

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I packed away all my climbing gear yesterday as I doubt I'll get to use it for quite some time.
SADFACE.

Goodbye, 5.10s. Goodbye, liquid chalk. Goodbye, Black Diamond Alpine Bod harness that should have been replaced about 5 years ago.

Sniff.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Climb with the babby in one of those babygrabbers on your chest!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

But hello pooey nappies!

( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I'm usually the one shitting myself on the final clip.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Ooh you know all the proper names and stuff. I used to teach kids how to do it and can't remember for the life of me what most of it is called now.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Aye, I went through a phase where I was climbing indoors two or three times a week
and outdoors every other weekend.

That lasted a couple of years then I split up with my climbing partner and didn't trust him at the pointy end of the rope.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

^^This
*sadfaces*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

See! We should totally climb together even though we are miles and miles apart.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I think this is a plan
Especially as I now have absolutely no nerve left whatsoever!
I went mountain biking on Sunday with PJM and the nuggets along part of the North Downs Way - had to get off and walk along some singletrack because I was scared I'd fall off.
No fucking nerve at all anymore.

Maybe I should take up something more restful.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Extreme knitting.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'd be afraid of cutting off blood supply to my fingers
I always used to do that when my granny taught me to knit.

And there's the needles too - I could poke them in someone's eyes (on purpose).
I'll just be the gibbering wreck in the corner, okay?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

HELLO THERE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

HELLO
Shame we never chatted on Friday. I think you look like Albrecht Durer.

www.jim3dlong.com/1498_Albrecht_Durer_Self-Portrait-WL400.jpg

Without the hat, obviously.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I like those paintings you can get down Covent Garden, with the planets and the wolves and stuff like that, which glow in neon light.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Are they as good as the ones that you get in Indian restaurants?
You know, the ones that are lit up from within and have waterfalls that move. Are the wolves as good as that?

Nothing can beat moving waterfalls in a picture.
FACT.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

It's close, but not quite as good.
But if you put the neon painting behind a fish tank, then you've got a winner.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Especially if you've got neon tetras
or whatever those little darty fishes are called.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I do a bit, eh?
Next time we shall chat FO SHO'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Good plan

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

My dead pandas bumhole bum aids is giving me right gyp

( broadsword, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

It's a pain in the arse when that happens.
I feel your pain.

No hugging though - dead panda fluids take weeks to wash out.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)