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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Make them tea
And invest in some industrial strength bleach for the toilet after they're gone.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:42, 1 reply, 16 years ago)
I've done that in the past, and I think it just sets me up as a soft target
Familiarity breeds contempt and all that.

My kitchen needs replacing, and I just cant face dealing with the workmen.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)
Decide what you want and then tell them
be firm - it's just like dealing with small children - tell them what you want and be insistent.

Small children, animals and men - once you show them who's boss there are usually no problems.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)
^This.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)
Ah, the pleasures of being a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it
Ageing does have its benefits.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)
Well I know what I want.
Getting it is a bit of a struggle at the moment ;)
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Don't forget your cellar
add copious amounts of alcohol and you should be sorted for a victim guest this weekend!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)
God no.
No prowling this weekend. I'll be too busy hostessing.

Edit - plus I don't want the men frightened of me.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:55, Reply)
So in that case it's down to me and Tourettes to find you one then?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:58, Reply)
I think Asun has someone in mind but I've been to busy to get over to Manchester.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)
You must go to Manchester
It's not called Manchester for nothing you know!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Pfft!
I use to live in Manchester and it didn't do me any good then.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Were you into the laydeez back then?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)
No! before then.
I was living in Coventry when I was lady loving.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Cov's a shit hole
It's fitting that it has a massive ring road that's in disrepair.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)
But such wonderful stuff has come from Coventry.
Pooflake and the Captain for one.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)
That's two
It's also got an Ikea now, and I didn't get stabbed when shopping there.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)
But was that back when you were only drinking from the furry cup?
And maybe your awesomeness has increased since then!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)
I was in my mid twenties when I was a lesbian.
Haven't touched muff for years.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)
Apart from your own, of course

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)
*rolls eyes*
that goes without saying!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)
I also hate the idea of leaving them in my house all day while i'm at work
I think i'll live with it for another year or so...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Do some investigating to find a reliable builder.
If they are good then it will be a while before they can fit you in anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)
That's very good advice
I have asked friends and wotnot. Some of the horror stories would turn your hair white...being left without a kitchen for 3 months and the like.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)
Try this
www.ratedpeople.com/

It's given me very good results.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Thanks

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)
Ugh, working class people. Simply ghastly.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)
I always wear gloves when I deal with them

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)
You jest...but
Salt of the earth working men types are fine down the pub or on the football terrace...but in my house?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:56, Reply)
I do not jest.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)
are you sure
you aren't mixing up working class with lower class?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Both live in horrid terraces and can't afford shoes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)
I can't tell
if you're joking on this :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Of course I'm joking, I'm well aware that poor people now live in towers and wear Nike trainers that I paid for.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Not so!
I am at this very minute sat in a tiny terraced house with bare feet.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)
take that NakedApe
you Tory scum you
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Well I'm glad one povvo has the decency to live upto cliches

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Its an honour to feed your stereotypes.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

stereotypes fantasies
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)
you're a student, you don't count as a genuine poor person

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)
Sadly, I've always been poor.
I come from genuine working class stock.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)
I'm middle class
that's why I rebel with piercings and tattoos. I'm sticking it to my upperclass parents for making sure I wasn't left wanting.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)
I'm rebelling against my mother too.
and her absolute, au naturel prudishness.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)
I live in a terrace
mine isn't horrid though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)
That's because it's not in the North
up there all you can hear is the constant moan of brass instruments and the incessant chatter of drunken plebs.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)
how dreadful
almost enough to put one off ones caviar
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)
...and the foetid stench of Hovis, wherever you go.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)
Is there a difference?
'serfs' covers them all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Best get your man to deal with them
and you can spend the day at your club
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:58, Reply)
that sounds just the ticket
whisky and s dear boy?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Not before midday day!
Port and a plate of deviled kidneys.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)
what?
*port* before midday?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Breakfast drink of champions

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)
I've never drunk port
before dinner. Why not have yourself a nice gin and tonic, or a Pimms or just a glass of champagne instead?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)
Before dinner simply would not do.
I always treat myself to a fine vintage port from Selfridges every Christmas. A little gift to myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

t n
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)
I do hope you indulge in a good stilton alongside

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Of course.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)
there is no point
me buying extra nice port, it disappears too fast
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)
Hold the S, old chap, there's a dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:02, Reply)
This thread needs more northern working class.
Aite, guv? what can I do fer yer?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:05, Reply)
I beg your pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)
*doffs flat cap*
*straightens scruffy waistcoat*
*grins*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)
that's not Northern!
/more Oliver Twist
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)
It's essentially the same thing.
Everyone knows we all still ride horse and carts on dirt roads and are amazed by steam trains.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)
it sounds like
a strange and wonderful place. A magic fairyland where honest farm workers tug their forelocks and smile the smile of honest labour
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)
In the country, this is possibly true.
Not so much in towns and cities...
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)
well, my shoes could do with a bit of a buff
and while you are down there....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)
While I'm down here, I'll punch you in the bollocks if you try anything dodgy.
And then run away.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)
typical bloody prole

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)
you clearly don't know Monty very well
if you think he jests
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 10:58, Reply)
I've become rusty on his mannerisms and ways
that's what happens when he goes away for 2 weeks "on holiday" (nudge nudge, wink wink) with his ex.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Scruffy oiks, every man jack of’em.
The blighters have ruined our previously unimpeachably high regard in the colonies, with their foreign holidays and the like.

Unforgivable.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)
Sunburnt urchins, a pox on you and your kin

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Prior to the 1950s
the only nations aware of our rough-hewn peasantry were those who’d been slaughtered by them on the field of battle.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)
as it should be

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)
And bloody grateful they were too.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

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