You're not an outsider Bert
You're a gorgeous little cuddlewump who's main skill is making other people feel good about themselves.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 15:53, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

It's soooo true!

EDIT Also, how sad is it that Becky felt the need to send me spiteful messages on a dating website she's been using since the dawn of time, and felt she had to link you to my profile for you both to get your jollies on?
Have you people nothing better to do?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Nope.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Well that goes without saying for you, WGW
but it was close to midnight on Father's day, I would have thought at least Becky would have had other things on her mind
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:10, Reply)

HAHAHAHA
Oh boy, I love the way you just made fun of the fact that beckys dad is dead.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:14, Reply)

It worked well for him last time.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Oh man, it totally did.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)

And you seriously wonder why I call you a massive shitcunt?
Sending hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha really isn't that spiteful
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)

To be honest becky, I would just ignore him from here on
Just remember, later in the summer you're going to be getting more bacon explosion when I have a BBQ, and Bert won't be invited.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I wasn't being mean
I was serious, I found it pretty odd that on a day like that she felt the need to go out of her way to be mean to me.
I have no interest in persuing any beef with Becky, but if she continues to engage me in a hostile manner (which in itself is extraordinarily sad), I will retaliate
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Giggidy

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:48, Reply)

*envies*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:49, Reply)

You could come too
if you like
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)

But you never invite me
*sadface*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I invite you on Al's behalf

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Does that mean I'll be gate-crashing?
'Cause if it does I'm coming.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:12, Reply)

You're coming either way
I think we'll have to do a bacon and sausagemeat drive so we have enough for everyone as I plan on eating a LOT.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Why, are you going to kidnap me?
Have you been taking lessons from Chompy?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:18, Reply)

No need, the smell will lure you over to North London :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:20, Reply)

I think it'd be enough to lure me all the way from Devon

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Very well, I shall prepare the bacon sniffers and lie in wait.
*waits*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I don't want to be part of your mong club anyway
You lot turn my stomach
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:01, Reply)

That's why you keep hanging round here then

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:09, Reply)

I keep coming back because
Your pathetic emotional out-pourings of 'oh the humanity' sustain me
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Good job you're wearing a kilt, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Do we really want his sort there though?
Hells yes we do
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:09, Reply)

:-D
keep me posted and I'll see what I can do
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Fuck, bacon explosion sounds awesome!
*salivates*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Haha gaz me the link Becky/Al!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Are you serious?
A man in his forties who's been alone for god knows how long?
You people are extremely sad
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Not sad enough to use a dating site you fucking gaylord.
EDIT do you normally wear black tie, are you some kind of Barry Bulsara James Bond fetishist?

Your pic looks like the kind of blurry one you get in the paper of someone who's died. Have you been killed by a landmine in Afghanistan?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Now you've called Becky a gaylord
Where will this all end kids??
Won't someone think of the Chilterns??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I prefer the Cotswolds

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Racist

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I registered a few days ago at my daughter's request
and I'd rather be gay than related to a girl who loves black cock
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Your own child
wants you to be killed by a maniac you met on the internet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I hadn't actually used the profile until becky messaged me
and there's no way in hell I'd meet up with that unhinged loon again.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Who? Yo mamma?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:49, Reply)

good grief
I step away for a couple of hours to do some work and I come back to this?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I know
It's appalling.
I think they all need a story and a nap.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:50, Reply)

what happened to civilisation Roota?
it's gone tits up.

it's me and you against the world kid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Yup
It's like Lord of the Flies in here right now.
Everyone's lost it and I was scared, but now we have this helicopter...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)

we can start fucking their shit up right?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

YEAH!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I can't look anymore
Let's just scoot
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

right on

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:02, Reply)

It's all in frightfully poor taste.
Poor old Bert's signed up to a desperadoes website using what I really, really hope is a blurry, tearstained photo from his wedding, and all I can do is laugh at the quite sporty, cycling-loving little queer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)

how ghastly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:02, Reply)

It's a very poor show,
very poor indeed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:05, Reply)