I dunno. Wait, I'll find them:
01: Be a “Creature” Unlike Any Other
02: Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
03: Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
04: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
05: Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
06: Always End Phone Calls and dates First
07: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
08: Fill Up Your Time before the Date
09: How to Act on Dates 1,2, & 3 End the date first especially if you like him.
10: How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
11: Always end the date first
12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
13: Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy
16: Don't Tell Him What to Do
17: Let Him Take the Lead
18: Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
19: Don’t Open Up Too Fast
20: Be Honest but Mysterious
21: Accentuate the Positive & Other Rules for Personal Ads
22: Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
23: Don't Date a Married Man
24: Slowly Involve Him in Your Family & Other Rules for Women with Children
25: Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
26: Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
27: Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends & Parents Think It's Nuts
28: Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
29: Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
30: NEXT! & Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
31: Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist.
32: Don't Break The Rules!
33: Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!
34: Love Only Those Who Love You
35: Be Easy to Live With
36: If the Rules Don't Work, Put Out.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:48, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

a couple of those are sensible
mostly shit though

numbers 4 and 5 would piss me right off and make me think "well fuck you then"

13 is odd too. as is the one about living with a man. do these rules apply up to a certain point, or is that a lifetime thing?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Some are ok, I do consciously follow 7. I dislike 13

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Thank you Vip
for validating my theory that it is not me who has the feckin' emotional intelligence of a jam sandwich.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I don't like number 19 at all.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)

What the fuck is all that about
Don't date a married man though, that's sensible.

I have a mate who only ever seems to get asked out by attached men. Fair enough, but she shouldn't take them up on it. She always does, and now she's mental and unhappy. Or chicken and egg, I dunno.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I think
you made no.36 up.

On another note - my own MOTHER bought me a copy of The fucking Rules. As my Christmas Present. When I was 19.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Nope, it was on wiki
God that's depressing
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Christ.
Yes, that is depressing.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:21, Reply)

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion
( Labmonkey last thought about having another coffee on, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I think I've deliberately gone against at least half.
12 is stupid. As are 4 and 2.
3: I don't stare, granted, but I talk far too much.
13 is good for me cos I get bored so fast, the less I see them, the longer it takes me to get bored of them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)

your point about number 13 is odd to me
I've never been out with someone who wasn't a friend as well, and I generally have friends who I don't get bored with.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

And also, if you know you're going to get bored with someone, they're not right for you
So get rid now and save the bother or them falling for you.
I always did that.
Unless they were the bored one and I was the falling one.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

yeah, there's no point being with someone with whom you can't share your passions, your absurd hatreds and a fucking good laugh
as well as the awesome sexing naturally.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I've just not yet met the person who manages to tick all these boxes for me.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:09, Reply)

that's fair enough
(I'm sure I say that too much)

my last couple of gfs have been mates first, and then we got together after some kind of mutual realisation of something. Been lucky I guess
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I have an incredibly fast turnover rate.
And a short attention span. I don't get bored of my friends, no matter how much I see them, but guys... as soon as they start wanting to see me more than three times a week, I get really panicky and uncomfortable, and I need to get out.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:08, Reply)

that's exactly me
But when you feel like that just dump. It means he's not really what you want.
It's kinder all round.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:13, Reply)

That's what I do.
Sometimes I get that rise of panic a few weeks in, sometimes after the first date. I've never not had it though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

without wanting to (badly) psychoanalyse
why the panic?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I have a terrible, terrible fear of commitment.
Even the tiniest little bit, like committing to go on a date with someone more than a week in advance makes me panic. It's not as bad as it used to be, I used to bail on someone I liked as soon as they suggested a date, no matter how much I liked them.
I think I take the phrase "there's plenty more fish in the sea" too literally. I want to catch as many of them as I can. I always think: "What if I become his girlfriend today, then meet someone better tomorrow?"

Yes! My puppy is home :D
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

that's pretty weird
and by 'that's' I mean 'women are'
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

This isn't the standard thinking of mot of my friends though.
The all want, and some even need relationships, as in can't function single.

And that was really shit psychoanalysing by the way.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I wasn't actually attempting to analyse
just curious

both ends of the spectrum are quite odd, particularly from a bloke's point of view. very confusing as well, having been on the receiving end of both.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)

If anyone would like to psychoanalyse, please go ahead.
It's nothing to do with being afraid to open up to people, because I'm about as open as you get.

I confuse myself to be honest. And I really don't understand why people don't enjoy being free more.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I can't begin to offer an explanation
and I haven't been single for about 8 and a half years, and at that time being free involved having basically no success with women.

I would have enjoyed a period of singledom years ago when I upgraded gfs, just to see what it was like and how I got on, but I would've missed out on being with my mrs.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

You just think "Argh fuck off!!"
and you bawk when the phone lights up.
it means you've decided you don't like him enough to keep dating him but you don't know how to tell him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

or OH MY GOD, STOP FUCKING TALKING TO ME.
Give me five minutes to myself, please!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Wouldn't it be preferable to be oneself rather than follow these rules?
If you are trying to fool someone into thinking you are 'someone else' you will eventually be found out.
If they don't like you for who you are, they are no loss. (Unless you are just trying to get laid by someone hot.)
Or am I just missing something here?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I think you've summed it up nicely Tuggers

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Hear hear

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:15, Reply)

But if being yourself doesn't work then that means that you're following the same mistakes over and over. I think if I wanted to change my situation I'd give it a go, but not these rules
I'd try what they advocate in the book and not take silly excuses, wait by the phone for a call that wont happen or accept his behaviour as a given. Not that I do, but if I was in that situation I mean.

I know what I mean dammit.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I get what you mean
but it might just mean you've met a string of wankers. it's not like there's a shortage of them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:18, Reply)

This is true. I think this is why she's bought the book and is extolling it to anyone who'll listen.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

What she needs is a chocolate cock.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Doesn't everyone?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I'd prefer a marijuana vagina.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

it's not that being yourself isn't working
It's that THEMSELVES haven't been right, innit?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Exactly.
NEXT!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Hyar hyar

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)