Are you ready to hate me?
...I've never learned to ride a bike.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:44, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That's alright, we can fit stabilisers.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Aw man
My Raleigh Bobcat had stabilisers
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I was terrified the first time my dad decided it was time I learnt to ride without them
My sister, on the other hand, hadn't even got the hang of brakes; she'd been quite happy for her stabilised bike to just roll to a halt. So when my dad took the stabilisers off hers, instead of learning to use the brakes, she'd just jump off the bike.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I was a gobshite
My mum and dad were running up and down the street for hours holding the seat of my bike to no avail.
My uncle, on witnessing this poncery, sat me on a very high Budgie and just pushed me into the distance, thus meaning I HAD to learn to ride without stabilisers.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I know you're not very big...
but a budgie?
Not an eagle?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Hahaha
I have just pictured the young Roota, with her home-cut bob, giant fringe and body of a pipe-cleaner doll, zooming around the estate on the back of a budgerigar!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:22, Reply)

've never learned to ride a
'm proud to be the b3ta
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Would you like to ring my bell?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

No thank you
Kind of you to offer though
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I've had my saddle replaced since the last one...

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Still I must politely decline

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

In all fairness, you did snog Chompy
Labs doesn't want to catch it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I ALSO SNOGGED APPLEBITE AND AMBERL
WHY DOES NO ONE BRING THIS UP, IT'S AWESOME.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Because you snogged RapeyChops.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I can't remember if tongues were involved.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

for Chompy?
yes they were. We saw
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

O_O
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I was praying there wasn't.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Shall I lie for light relief?
It was only a peck on his lips
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

:(
Oh god, I really am a netbike.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

no
you're not. There was no groping, fumbling or otherwise awkward manoeuvres. So you are saved. It was just a kiss
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

A deep, passionate kiss
Where time seemed to stand still, gently harp music being played from somewhere on high, as some kind of primordial energy sparked between you and Chompy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:10, Reply)

You weren't even there and you could still tell that. Amazing :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Such was the Love between them
I could feel it, it was like 40 billion souls stunned into silence, before vomiting uncontrollably.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Netbike. Brilliant

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

-trills bell-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

That's not where I thought the sound was going to come from
shudders
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Yeah but Chompy causes - 172,000 reputation
whereas Applebite and Amberl are only +500 each.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I think Amberl should get +500 for each boob

(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

YES

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Geek!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Because it's not as funny?
And there are no pics of it to Paintmash Chompy's face on their bodies
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Lesbians though, LESBIANS.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

"It's great, cause you'd have FOUR BREASTS!
Two 'Guest Breasts,' and then two you can take away with you afterwards!"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

alright Geoff?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Cleft.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Gusset.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

We're above the Lesbians thing here
Mostly.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

obviously not enough
to not capitalise it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Not really though, is it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

what's the attraction to real lesbians though?
they're not going to be interested in you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Get your forcefield of hotness away from the gay women!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

sorry
I didn't realise I'd left it on
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I assume it automatically activates whenever you see me coming
as it were
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:11, Reply)

there's always a chance that they might

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

The end of 'Dodgeball' sums this up

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

^YES^

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:12, Reply)

And if they don't it's nice to watch

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I've known a few 'real' lesbians
Most of them have been dog ugly. The hot ones were bi.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Amberl didn't mention that... *texts furiously*
I think that people don't bring that up because Applebite (apparently) and Amberl are really hot and it's therefore not worth teasing you about. Chompy, on the other hand...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I couldn't hate anyone on the basis that they'd never ridden a bike
It would be like harbouring a grudge against anyone who'd never tried a pint of Hopback Summer Lightning.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

One of my friends never learned to ride a bike
we still mock him about it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Ah but has he never tried a pint...
...of Hopback Summer Lightning?

If not, then mock away.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I don't know
he does drink bitter but I don't know if he's a real ale fanboy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:29, Reply)