I kind of have one, and I'd say it's fairly successful
but only because it's a more accurate portrayal of the person behind the one-dimensional character I project on B3ta. I use a pseudonym because anonymity is far more important than the adulation of retards.

I would never pay for sex, it is beneath me, but I am open to bidding.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I will give you a flump and a curly straw

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

That would be a massive overpayment, I'd have to give you three babybel and a turkey twizzler as change
and I take it the payment wouldn't be for sex?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

No, you get paid to go away afterwards.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

the payment would be for you to make me a milkshake

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I'll give you a claw hammer to the back of the head, and some bushes on Wimbledon Common

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

DEAL
The back end of a claw hammer is my personal weapon of choice, I can imagine pulling it out of the shattered remains of somebody's skull would be very satisfying
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

It's alright
Nothing like putting your fingers in afterwards though, licking it up, smearing it round your mouth. You end up looking like an messy child who has been eating Period Pie Jam Roly Poly
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I have a ball-pein hammer I could put to good use.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

do we get a stick to prod you with?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

You've got one between your legs

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I said a stick, not a log.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)