alright sluts?
How many of you blog?
Do you have loads of dedicated readers?
Do you use your own name or a pen name?

Which of you will be sloshed off in alleys by Lampitos whores and which of you will be ravished on a bed of satin by my escorts?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:42, 213 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't blog other than my rants on here.
Can I be sloshed off in an alleyway by Lampito please.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I'd like to give her a cheeky kiss

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I love you both

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

If I come to London we'd better fucking snog

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

YES

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

this is a creepy coincidence
I'm just working on starting a blog, I'm drafting content right now. Check you with your telepathy.

I have a blog related to my corset stuff but it doesn't have any readers yet because I've only just started it.

Do you blog?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I used to, well I started one a loooooooong time ago and wrote naughty bits on it and then my boss read it without me knowing and then he told me and it creeped me out so I deleted it
I'd like to start another one writing naughty things but I don't know how to go about picking a pen name, I can't even choose a username ffs, it's my own name.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

my boss read my livejournal when I was about 19
that was horrific.

I would read your blog, even if it was filthy.

Did I say even? I meant especially
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

haha it's a definite that I'll be doing it, it's a definite it'll be nsfw
I suppose when it's ready I'll post it up in my profile
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I would read your blog I think
keep us updated with the latest and whatnot and whodunnits
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

yeah, what this ballsack said

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

charming,
clitholder
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

pure class, me

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

l r
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Crass?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I assume so
www.thefreedictionary.com/crass
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I liked it, felt loved.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I've had strangers add me on facebook because of here and 2 have even recognised me in public.
fackin faaasands
Donkey Gums is my real name you shitclap.

Well, I'm going to be your only high class escort, so my answer to that is "Under worked"
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

gosh, I'm trying here okay

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

It's not good enough. I'm diamond goods, stop sending these average women to me for fuck sake...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

You might get better ones if you sent them back less damaged.
Or even sent them back at all.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

They look better with Panini 95' Premier League sticks added to them
I put a Ryan Giggs shiny on a doris's pobber once, she was well chuffed.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Quite well
Not me
By definition, no
I'd probably use a pen name.

And as for the whore/escort debate...well, your ravishing escorts would probably make me feel less like the cheap, vile human being I am. However, I'd feel awkward about sullying a satin bed, and I'm a tight-fisted old scrote, so I'd probably take one of your brochures and settle for one of Lampito's alley-dwellers.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I could tell you were a dirty girty when we met.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Yeah, there's no point me trying to hide it any more.
Probably should have at least put my cock away though...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Poor kitty at BGB's house
He was so scare of you! Couldn't stop looking at you all night.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

It was entirely his choice to sit by the kitchen door
and watch me snore off my alcohol-induced haze until such time as Pookie came in and put the kettle on.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

That wasn't Pookie

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Whoops. (I'm awful with names these days)
Who was it then?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I'm not sure tbh, I just know Pookie got up after me
Could it have been Halfy?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

No, it looked too old to be Halfy
And definitely too tall to be the cat
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Not a clue then...
EDIT: Actually, it probably was Pookie, I forget you didn't wake up until we'd been moving round for a few minutes.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

that just sounds dirty

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Next time I'll give the cellar a good clean so people can sleep down there.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I actually found your kitchen floor perfectly comfortable
Slept quite well, though that might have just been the consequence of drinking enough beer to knock me out for the night.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Or the powers of the cat
Making you unconcious by looking at you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Yes but if you sleep in the cellar then you won't be woken up so early.
Or you may end up sharing my bed depending on the secret 'eeny meeny miny mo' I did.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

secret
biased
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Who shared your bed?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Friday night it was Tourettes and Saturday night it was Aberaccion.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Oh phwoar.
I'm jealous of all involved
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Tourettes kept swearing in her sleep.
Aberaccion was lovely. She didn't hog the bed or move around or make a sound. It was like sleeping with a dead person without the smell.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

smell sex
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

You're joking!
That's the most amazing thing ever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I sleep without moving and not making a sound. not even breathing.
sometimes I do it with my eyes open, it's proper freaky, or so I've been told.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

That poor terrified girl feigned sleep all night.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Did you find cat hair in your grundies?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

His bellend was rubbed raw
cats' tongues are like sandpaper.

At least it was finally clean of nobcheese and excrement from his frequent bumdering missions
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Well, I did wake up to find the little fucker parading round the kitchen in them...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

"Tight fisted"
Fnarr
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

We had one
dizoriented.blogspot.com/

But we're too busy now to do anything on it, so we've killed it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I WISH I could read spanish
*sigh*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

It's not so difficult
I can do it :)

It was quite good fun writing there and reading other people's stories, but not anymore :_(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I used to blog, but in a fit of anger deleted the entire thing. Bit gutted.
And can I have both please? Although I don't think I could afford your escorts :-(
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

they're really not that expensive
I'm trying to put single moms through school, see?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Ahh, I see
Hmm, in that case, put me down for a Cleveland Steamer, followed by a Monkeyface.

Or if that's a little extreme, ask if any of your girls are interested in an Angry Pirate?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

it's not about what they are interested in, it's about what you are interested in!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Marvellous
Btw, are you only saying that because you don't know what those things are?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I know what they are!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

This is, of course, the point in a real-life conversation
where the room inexplicably goes silent just in time for you to say,
"No, AA, I have no idea what a Cleveland Steamer is, let alone a Monkeyface...please explain them both to me."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Haha, definitely
Monkeyface is still the funniest thing I've ever heard of.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I agree
and Voltaire's Glove is the worst.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

It's pretty mingin

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Wow
You are a terrible human being, haha
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

actually I only know what an angry pirate is

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Monkeyface
Cleveland Steamer
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I kind of have one, and I'd say it's fairly successful
but only because it's a more accurate portrayal of the person behind the one-dimensional character I project on B3ta. I use a pseudonym because anonymity is far more important than the adulation of retards.

I would never pay for sex, it is beneath me, but I am open to bidding.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I will give you a flump and a curly straw

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

That would be a massive overpayment, I'd have to give you three babybel and a turkey twizzler as change
and I take it the payment wouldn't be for sex?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

No, you get paid to go away afterwards.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

the payment would be for you to make me a milkshake

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I'll give you a claw hammer to the back of the head, and some bushes on Wimbledon Common

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

DEAL
The back end of a claw hammer is my personal weapon of choice, I can imagine pulling it out of the shattered remains of somebody's skull would be very satisfying
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

It's alright
Nothing like putting your fingers in afterwards though, licking it up, smearing it round your mouth. You end up looking like an messy child who has been eating Period Pie Jam Roly Poly
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I have a ball-pein hammer I could put to good use.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

do we get a stick to prod you with?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

You've got one between your legs

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I said a stick, not a log.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I blog
I recently changed from using a pen name to using my own name. My 'followers' vary - at times I've had a high readership and then they all bugger off when I forget to update. Sometimes my readers moan at me - only yesterday I was told off for not writing anything there for too long.

I'll be taking the escort and satin sheets, ta.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

bit of a dumb question maybe
where do you post your blog? do you have your own website? not being very techy I always wondered about blogs? how do people find them etc. sorry for huge display of ignorance
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I use Blogger because it's simple, free and I can add stuff easily without having to host them
Others I know use WordPress and rave about it. I couldn't get on with that - too fiddly. I tried LiveJournal and it was okay - I used to have an entirely private diary on there and then thought, fuck it, and published it all for public view under a pseudonym - it was very whiney and I got a load of randoms adding me as a friend just so they could watch the car crash unfold.

People find them in a variety of ways - Facebook has a Networked Blogs widget thing which helps - plenty of FB friends read mine through that. FB also publishes my updates. I also use Twitter at times and put links on there.
Blogger also works a bit like YouTube in that you can go onto the site and scroll through different blogs.

I used to have my own website but I find these days that between Facebook and Twitter I have enough webspace for my needs - I'm not selling anything, any links or bits I write are all on FB and that's fine for now.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I use Blogger because it's the easiest one I've found so far
With wordpress I found you had to fanny around with the settings too much to get it the way you want it.

Plus Blogger is integrated with gmail which is useful because I always forget my username and passwords to blogs.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Brilliant
I think I will have a ganders on FB now see if anyone I know is blogging. I wonder if there are links from the B3ta page?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I'll take a ravishing thanks.
But only because Madame Lampito won't be handling clients herself. Otherwise I'd go for her - that would be 75p well spent. And so would I.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

She doesn't alway carry change
So make sure you pay her in 5 pence coins, she'll appreciate that
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

make sure they are well contained in a sock
and applied to the back of the head.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

back of the head
minge
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

If I ever meet you
I'm going to bend your dick into the shape of a croissant.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

owie

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Is that extra?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

+ Salty?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

That's a pretzel.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Shit
I thought I was being funny too :-(
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

fifteen 5 pence coins in a sock isn't exactly going to hurt
surely larry suggesting you'd be 75p is a worse crime?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

It's suggesting violence against me
You can join the lovely ranks of Chompy and Wookie who have had violence threatened upon them. Only Chompy did get punched in the face.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

With a tongue?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

With my fist.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Ah, I do find that technique to be much more successful.
And now I'm aware of it, I'll be far nicer to you *cowers*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

being labelled alongside Chompy and Wookiee has done almost irreparable damage to my self-esteem.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I've not tried to kiss you, you're not in that camp.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

a fact for which I am sure we are all grateful
and has nothing to do with distance and me being attached
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

If you were outside the Chandos around chucking out time, and hadn't run away
You would have been attacked.
I get affectionate when drunk.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I'll bear that in mind

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

+ and never come near you
Don't worry, not a big fan of beards.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

sadly not enough women are
it was a pleasure to meet lusty with her love of beards.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)

I like cleanshaven hairless girly men
I blame the man who shaped my love of men for being half-oriental so smooth as a smooth smooth thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)

that seems to be a common thing among women
or at least the ones who like or don't mind hairy men never talk about it.

I'm quite lucky that my mrs likes men with a bit of hair, because I have a pretty fucking hairy chest.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Last time I saw R__
He had about 2mm of hair on his chin and upper lip, and I laughed at him. He said "Shut up, I've not bothered to shave in 5 days"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)

haha. mine grows almost that much in a day.
a couple of my mates are like that. pretty much every other one has a beard.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Hairy men FTW!
Why on earth would I want to be with someone who had less body hair than me??

Hairy chests are PHWOOAARR!

Love a stubbly chin on a man but not a full on Terry Waite.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

glad to hear it
I'm happy with my level of hairiness, apart from the back. it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a completely different type of hair to the rest.

I would like to point out though that my back is only a bit hairy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)

All the men I've been involved with apart from two
have had hairy chests.
The last hairless one gave me the creeps.

Hairy chests go along with muscles and being tall and strong.
I'm going to lie down in a darkened room now.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

*bares chest*
*flexes*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

*fans self*
*swoons*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)

if only I had respectable muscles in places other than my shoulders...
(and groin)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Sadly I could probably match you on the shoulders
:/
When I wear strapless dresses I have to ensure I'm wearing loads of makeup, otherwise I look like a builder from Gravesend.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

not a good look for a lady I imagine
I've been wearing checked shirts quite a lot recently, and have started to look like either a cowboy or a lumberjack. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I can't wear checked shirts
for exactly the same reason.

Some days I wish I was petite and under 5'6" and not 'sturdy'.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)

my ex was
(apart from her gargantuan breasts)

I was always worried I'd break her.

There is definitely a market for real sized women such as yourself. Tall, broad men require non-fragile women.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I have found this
but then I've tended to date climbers, mountain bikers and other outdoorsy types. Husband #1 was an ex-soldier, husband #2 a farmer.

I can't be doing with wimps - they need to be able to wrestle a bear and then beat me at arm-wrestling.
Hairless men can't do this. FACT.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I approve of this.
my mrs isn't small, 5'7 and quite well-built for a lady, and I carried her upstairs the other day because she foolishly said I couldn't after I had picked her up.

I wouldn't be able to call myself a man if I hadn't been able to do it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Rrrraaarrrrr!
That is all.
:D
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

frankly I think I was lucky I didn't injure myself
carrying a load is easy. carrying it upstairs and round corners is not.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Fireman's lift over the shoulder is the way to go
But being 'swept off your feet' is more romantic.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)

I should have gone with fireman's lift
as it was it was front to front, with legs wrapped round me. not easy to go upstairs!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I have no hair on my chest or back
And any attempts at stubble are frankly pathetic.

This depresses me :-(
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:07, Reply)

it does make you less of a man
I don't know where mine came from though, because I swear I was the same as you until I was about 21, if not older.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Well, I'm only 22, so there's hope for me yet!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

true
I was blonde up till the age of about 19 too, then got my long hair cut off, turned brown haired, and now I am slowing creeping back towards blonde.

very odd.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Aww, sweetheart!
You're still a boy...give it time and you'll become hairy.
You are dark haired so the chances are you'll have a bit of hair.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

You punched me, too.
You're lucky I didn't retaliate, you'd have ended up looking like Mary Ann Nicholls.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Did I?!
Oh my lord, I'm so sorry. I just thought I inspected your septum and declared it in good condition.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

It's proven remarkably resilient.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Why on earth did I punch you?!
:( Sadface there.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I deserved it.
If you can't remember what prompted you to assault me, let's just leave it at that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Pffft!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

please,
it's already that shape
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

And just as flakey

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

is that why you are so into me?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Yeah, I love the way it engorges into that croissanty shape
It's beautiful to watch. Like a sunset.

Or an abortion.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

you have a wonderful way with words

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)

aye
that I do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I don't blog but occasionally write reviews for films which tend to get a bit ranty
Does that count?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I'd actually like to read these, may I?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

He mainly complains that the Men couldn't dance in those shoes
Even if they do look Fabulous Dahling.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I think he's probably ignored me after yesterday. Ah well.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Tbh, to me you're neither interesting nor irritating enough to ignore
Bit like Bert really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

I'll take that, straight down the middle.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I don't ignore anyone, was just a bit swamped at work
Will find you links. Don't hold your breath, suddenly snowed under
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Obliged

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Me and the Red-Haired Sexpot are starting one
I'm squatting on a brilliant blogspot name, it was originally going to be photos of all my dresses, I might still do that.

My and RHSP's blog will chronicle our adventures and misadventures- such incidents will include one of us being ravished in a tree house and other such true happenings.
that wasn't me, by the way.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

ugh I'm so not creative with names >:(
you should totally let us see it when you're done
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

It's MEANT to be anonymous
but yeah, the email address I'm using with it is fantastic, if I may say so myself. And the blog name is literary, injokey yet recognisable as to what it is.

I need to find myself a pseudonym. RHSP is Nikki, short for Knickerless.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

how about: Turnip Women?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

"it looks like buddy holly lifting a sack of turnips"
I want a divorce >,_<
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

NOPE. TOO LATE!
NOW SCRUB MY CHEST WOMAN!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

are you trying to say that you're not going to show us?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

It's not got any entries at the moment
give us a chance to write about sucking people off in the street and being violated in bunkbeds
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

HAHA violated in bunkbeds! Where do you come up with this stuff?? lolol

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

BASHES

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

what what in the butt

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

What what in the bunk, surely?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

more like funk in the bunk

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

more like "OH MY GOD NOOOOO"
and a 45 minute tube journey home, half with a taciturn welshman
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)

How about Knickers Are The Enemy?
Or a shortened version, I dunno
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I am under no illusion whatsoever
that anyone outside of a secure mental unit would have any interest in either my opinions or the minutiae of my pitiful existence. You poor sods get enough of that. It bores the living shit out of me, so I am certain the world can happily live without my ‘introspective musings*.

*gay emo whining

Shame really, as ‘Kenny Bloggins’ would be rather good nom de plume….
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:07, Reply)

heh, Kenny Bloggins

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Not bad, is it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

it's tickled me I must admit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Someone ask me what my meeting was about.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

no
I'm going to guess instead.

was it about laboratory glassware?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

it's good
but it's not the one
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I CAN'T TELL YOU IT'S CONFIDENTIAL
man I love saying that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

did you get that I was calling you a beaker?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I didn't get it, too obscure.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

noted

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Do you mean
I CAN'T TELL YOU: IT'S CONFIDENTIAL

or maybe

I CAN'T TELL YOU, IT'S CONFIDENTIAL
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

The lack of punctuation and CAPS was there to emphasise the shoutyness.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

it could conceivably be read that you can't tell us about it being confidential

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I wish your mother never concieved.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)

me too
my brothers are cunts
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

what did you have for tea last night?
was it nice?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

A chicken burger in a gastropub
I was good.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

were you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I find it hard to believe

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

ASK YOUR MUM

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

aww did ChompyWompy get a burger for being a good little Chomp?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I had tomato and basil soup
with serrano ham and some of the cheese from France
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)

lucky you
i ran out of food, and had to make do with pasta with olive oil and garlic.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I ran out of food too
It's been ready meals (like the tomato soup) and jam and cheese for 3 days now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

frittata made from eggs from my parents' chickens
with bacon, peppers, mushrooms and courgette (from the garden) with a salad from the garden and granary bread.

lovely.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I had
baked organic chicken thighs stuffed with mushroom bhajee, a side dish of sweet potato and green pepper curry, with flatbread and black cardamom and turmeric rice, cooked specially for me by a drug dealer.

It was fucking A1. So was pudding....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

that sounds top notch
I had an awesome curry the other night. Achar lamb it was called. Really interesting taste to it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

A really good curry is hard to beat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

it is
this was at my parents' local, where on a tuesday they do starter, main, side and rice or naan for just under a tenner.

the curry used indian pickling spices, so it had a kind of hot and sour taste to it. sort of like a dhansak, but more sour. possibly had some lime in it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

you're both making my store bought fishcake and chips look really pathetic
now shut up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

heh "store-bought fishcake"
makes it sound like a cheap hooker
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

ew.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Sounds excellent.
My pal's chicken last night was made up by him on the spot but tasted like a classic dish, definitely to be repeated.

I wonder what Raoul Moat's having for his supper 'the neet'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I like that sort of thing
I had chicken stuffed with haggis in scotland that was awesome.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Haggis is fucking marvellous stuff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)

certainly is
not quite as nice as black or white pudding, but it's up there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I shall keep saying it
Argentinian black pudding is one of the world's greatest foodstuffs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Have you tried the smoked morcilla from Garcia's on Portobello road?
It's rather good, I imagine you'd appreciate it.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I've not, Brian, I've not.
I very much appreciate tips of this nature, please provide as many as you like...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

http://www.garciacafe.co.uk/view_products.php?headline=Morcilla De Burgos

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I plan to write a book on sausages one day
These tips are invaluable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:10, Reply)

I would buy that
there's a new place in town called Exeter Sausage and Grill which I need to go to.

The chef is from a pub where I used to go to their monthly pie night. Best pies I've ever had. I'm confident that he will have used his skills to make and cook a mean sausage.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)

My old mate's brother
started the 'Square Pie Company'. They're OK but not incredible. Pieminister ones are way better...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/sausagesandmustard_92487
Put this recipre in your sausage book. It's Nigel Slater who is an irritating twat but this is the the absolute nuts.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I always mean to stop in at Pieminister when I go to Bristol
not done it yet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I need to try some

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)