My favourite thing is my deserved narcissism
I wouldn't change one thing. I don't have a hunchback or waft of onion and desperation like most the guys on here.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:07, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

actually I would like shopping trolley wheel feet though, that could be fun.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

You do look like Chers abortion though

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

you can shut up, you cussing me about looks is like a Down's syndrome commenting that Naomi Campbell doesn't walk very well.
You look like someone beat up a geography teacher with a bicycle pump.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)

You're missing an A, which is suprising because that's what you say about 85% of the time
even on your own while walking around like a butt fucked tranny because your jeans are so tight your balls now resemble a couple of hairy 2p coins.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:13, Reply)

this doesn't make much sense.

You look like a toddler who was forced to grow up too fast and was fed on a diet of fists, hate and lettuce.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Bald. By. 30.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

My hair ain't going anywhere for at least another 20 years, it's well thick and lush.
Anyway, shut up Gonz. you've hot shit hair. You can only have it in two styles.

'Pube Collection'

or

'Concentration Camp Victim'
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)

It's quite thin though, been getting thinner over the years, all those products can't be good.
I reckon you've got at most 10 years left until the first baldspots appear, the gray'ing you can do something about, but not the thinning, well, I suppose you could get the mascara out.

Oh yeah', of COURSE it was 100% your choice to have a skinhead at 31, yeah' "Fancied a change", sure thing mate.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

haha :D
It's just normal, but compared to your mess of a headbound bollock 'fro I might as well be bald. Your hair is fucking bulletproof. You could clean up the BP oil spill with just one dip.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Women _love_ the jewfro', something to grab onto.
Have you ever tried tying your hair around your cock and started head-banging?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Nah, my hair that long anymore :(
I might try and stretch it out tonight though bro. I'll report back in the morning.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Sad Times.
How's The Pro Curcit coming along? I fully expect for you to have a DVD in the bargin-bin at One Stop by the end of the year, need something to give to Nan for christmas.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Not pro circuit yet dude. Still got to get on the books. It's all open mics still atm with offers of paid gigs.
We shall see. I've got a few ideas up my sleeve too. If my sitcom comes into play I'll base a character off you.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I may have some contacts that will help on the sit com thing
I'll talk to you if I make it down on wednesday.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

awesometowns

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

don't get your hopes up, not agents or anything
just people that could give you some advice.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Ah', cool, I donno how it works really, I'll be up for doing a bit of acting though if it does all come off.
I guess most of it is a matter of getting the right contacts and being seen in the right places, can't be easy to make a living out of it.

But saying that, if those fucking awful fat birds can get a show comisioned on BBC3, like Katie Brand, then it shows it ain't impossible. God, she's fucking awful, I don't think she's ever raised a smile from me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

don't believe it
it's fucking difficult. I've been trying for ages (sitcom not a talk show)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

fucking hell is everyone I know trying to write a sit com.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

people think it's easy
it really really isn't :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Yeah I know, I've read some of my friends scripts.
and seen some of their pilots, being good on paper is hard enough but then putting it on screen...
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

indeed
there is no way I would ever even try and film so much as a scene as a sample. I'm alright at writing and I've been told it's quite funny (wrote two different ones) but it's a monster to get into
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I guess the trouble is, anyone with a Youtube account and a webcam thinks they can hit the big screen.
I just don't get how Katy Brand got her show, she must be seriously good at noshing off nob.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

you need to remember that that sort of thing is aimed at the average person
and the average person is thick as fuck

look how well Gavin and Stacey has done. It's fucking dire.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Gavin and Stacey
depresses me. It makes me want to write stuff that is warm and cuddly and utter utter shit just so I have a chance
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

1.bp.blogspot.com/_3j-x-qDO17A/S6_IeAHX68I/AAAAAAAAAF0/GYjfKwvtzMw/s1600/Terry+Nutkins.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I'd die a happy man if I ended up like Nutkins

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Partially digitted?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

bitten by an otter in the bath,
that was a romantic night doomed from the start.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

haha!
Why's everyone picking on Gums today, did he done something bad?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

We're just giving him some material for his stand up
he needs all the help he can get because although people throwing bottles at his face will probably help the chairs and tables could cause some damage.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Nah, we do it all the time :) it's funny :)
EDIT: But what I say is totally true PsychoChomp, He looks like a crippled Teddy Ruckspin.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Well he's not done me
:(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

but everyone else has

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I haven't
she wouldn't have me :( sad times
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

She's only interested if you say no.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

you ought to have that tattoo'd on your arm

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I've got enough mental scars

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

/emo
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

We'll do it soon :)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Sorry, you've been double dibbled.
I would be scared to catch their curses with the opposite sex via the proxy of nob contact.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Actually, that's true
Most if not all of the men who've put their pee pee near my vajayjay have had little or no luck with women afterwards.

Well, we have our suspicions one was gay, several were autistic and one's gorgeous but lacks attractiveness.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)