Sorry.
The fact that my kid's 2nd birthday is tomorrow and I am not even allowed to pop in on my way to work (to say happy birthday and drop off presents) is eating me up like a fucking tapeworm.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:19, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your ex is a serious bitch.
Words fail me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Just stand in the garden staring through the window
In your left hand is a balloon in the shape of a clown, in your right hand is a crude home made sign saying "daddy loves u" with some kind of deformed horse drawn on it as you're pretty shit at drawing horses.

Party hat at a jaunty angle optional
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

How dare you!
My horse drawings are fucking legendary.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Steady on now, this is Monty
He'd spell "you" correctly and in full.

But otherwise that's by far the most tragic image that's been put into my head all day.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

After 2 weeks holidays together
she has a problem with you passing and saying hello?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I have to wait 'til the weekend for my 3-hour court-appointed visit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

But that's so wrong
She's your daughter as much as hers. Why do you get only 3h/week visit? Were you a bad daddy? I wouldn't think so, therefore, what's the logical reason for stopping a father having some time with his child?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I dared to finish with my ex
for being scary, mental and physically violent.

This is her revenge.

I don't think I'm a bad daddy - most of the time I barely feel like a daddy at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

What happens when you say
"Who did you come to when you were having wrong twins and you had nobody else? Is that the kind of man not fit to look after his own daughter?"
Does she do massive drugs?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

She used to.
Fucking LOADS. She used to go out with ME for a time, don't forget.

Not any more though.


EDIT in answer to your question, she says 'oh right, I wondered when you'd throw that in my face'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Does she ever use that against you?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Yes.
On my life I would never, ever do even Small Drugs around my kid, and when I'm seeing her the next morning I am good as gold. There's no issue whatsoever with my recreational activities having a detrimental effect on my ability to care for my daughter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

No i know but she could use it against you whether there are any around at the time or not
Seriously, if it's one of the sticks she beats you with you should either stop, or start lying. I mean really convincingly lying.
Then she has nothing on you. She could go and mention it if you took her to court again, and that would make YOU look like the bad person and her look like a pillar of the community.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I can't stop :(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

is arranging her death a viable possibility?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

It has been suggested a number of times,
by a number of people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

would custody be guaranteed to fall to you though?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Shush about it
if he does it, someone off here might grass him up.
If you can help him make her disappear, gaz him ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Probably not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

offing her is probably not the best option then
wish I could offer something constructive, I really do.

Generally speaking most people and their problems can fuck off, but yours is really quite touching, and not in the sense in which touching is normally associated with you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

You can
You're not a bleeding junkie.
Or at least bloody tell her you've stopped.
Mong.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

She gave me some hash
for agreeing to babysit after we came back from holiday - her objection is all about MONEY. If I can buy drugs/drink/records/clothes/food, that's money I should have given to her, in her eyes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

She'll use it against you.
Trust me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Unfortunately,
"logical reasons" and "the British legal system" aren't regular bedfellows.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Your ex makes me fume
I hope she has some major revelation and realises what an obnoxious, obstinate cunt she's being.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

same here
I never thought I'd have much sympathy for someone as profoundly awful as Monty, but his ex makes it happen.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

The good news is
YBikes are fucking cool. I've even assembled it right - this is a major achievement for me. I don't do manual work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

She's using the kid as a weapon against you.
Bang out of order, unless there is something we don't know like you got drunk once and on the way to pick up some coke, you picked up a hooker, and while negotiating you put the baby in it's basket thing on top of the car and left it on the roof and zoomed off at 100mph and the baby's basket thing only fell off the roof of the car as you hit the motorway where one of these ran over the top of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Ah, that did happen a couple of times.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Honest mistake really, we've all been there.
And when they said in court "You wouldn't do that with a winning national lottery ticket", I burst into tears, because I had =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)