I TELLS YOU WHAT
THEMS SOME CRACKING FRUPS YOU GOT ON YOU THEOBAN
YOU SHOULD BE A MODEL. EH? PHWOOAR
( broadsword, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

PAGE THREE OF THE SUN
THEOBAN, 28, DISAPPROVES OF DAVID CAMERON'S POLICY ON RAOUL MOAT
ALSO ON PAGES FOUR, FIVE AND SIX
FREE BAG OF HIS HAIR WITH EVERY PURCHASE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:22, Reply)

This is possibly the sexiest thing ever
and I've had sex, so I know
( broadsword, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Please can you tell us about this 'sex' that I've heard of
I've only seen one thing that was about sex and that was a picture that I found on a railway siding that had a diagram of two chinchillas eating salmon off each other's backs whilst a yawning fat man sat in the corner of his room in a dressing gown touching his winky and winking. Is it like that?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:25, Reply)

That is EXACTLY what it is like
but with more winking
( broadsword, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Nothing like a good wink
Lets the ladies know where they're at

*finger guns*
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:28, Reply)

*winks*

( broadsword, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:33, Reply)

No, it's a bouncy hug
Like your dad does to aunty Sandra when your mum's in the Kwiksave and the betting shop
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:28, Reply)

I think this is a lie because my mother would never visit Kwiksave due to the spelling
We are atrocious snobs you see. You felching turtle you.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:29, Reply)

she puts it in Waitrose bags

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:29, Reply)

She wouldn''t go to Waitrose either, that place is *too* snobby.
I'm beginning to think you don't know my family at all. You snuffling cock hound, you.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:31, Reply)

i know your mother

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:31, Reply)

LOTS of people 'know' her.
Repeatedly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Alright auntie Sandra
Stop knobbing dad, ta
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:33, Reply)

but he always found me the prettier tartier sister

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:34, Reply)

If I come into the kitchen one more time and find you windmilling on his gristle tube I'm going to phone the police

( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:36, Reply)

They won't believe you
and I'll tell your mum you put your finger up your bum when you watch Eggheads
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:37, Reply)

Silly Roota, Mummy helps me slide it up there until the knuckle
How do you think I navigate the bends?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:38, Reply)

You do it underwater?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:40, Reply)

In a special suit I had made by NASA that has a bumhole section cut out for easy access
I sometimes fill the suit with slugs before I put it on so they can nestle under my winky's hood
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:41, Reply)

And on that note,
I'm off home!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:42, Reply)

So she's pitched at around the Sainsbury's level?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Yeah pretty much
Hang around the delicatessen aisle and she'll be yours
( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:34, Reply)

...lasciviously gesturing towards the salami and winking....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:40, Reply)

If you rub paté on your bumhole she'll come charging at you like a horny rhino

( Theoban What of it, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:43, Reply)