Awwh
As we're sharing kid stories, I'll tell you something my little 'un said at the weekend;
She'd just been given her school report, it was all good and she's doing really well. So I told her I'd take her shopping, get her something special for being good and asked her what she would like.
'A vibrator!' she cried, with more enthusiasm than I can convey in mere words.
After the initial shock and nervous laughter I managed to work out that she meant some kind of toy that judders about, and not some electronic dildo to stick up her vadge
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:36, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You keep teling yourself that Bert
She's a filthy harlot and no mistake
( djtrialprice, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Nah, she's a total prude
She won't even let me do anal
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

get her drunk
and lube yourself up. Then flee to Switzerland. Worked for Roman.
( djtrialprice, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

One and three...
Roman Polanski!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Hahaha
took me a second
( djtrialprice, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

kids just grow up too quickly these days

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

My little girl's at the stage between not being a little girl anymore
and not being a teenager yet. I think this might be the year I finally confirm her worst fears, that Santa Claus isn't real, but other than that I'd say she's about right for her age, unlike my littlest brother who's 9 but has acted like a 40 year old since he was 3
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

one of my friends has been 40 forever
he has a smoking jacket and slippers and he drives dead on the speed limit everywhere.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Is he your dad?
Also, I'm going to take your sig personally, and retailiate by finding your dead rat and wearing it like a cock warmer
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I was just thinking the other day "It's quite weird when you get nices or nephews that are older than their aunt or uncle".
But I guess it does happen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Only if your mum's a slag

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)