Aww
Now I have to make the pizza-bacon sandwich.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:19, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I would if I could
I'm so hungry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'll have to wait until I can get to Tesco
No mo' bacon at home :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'll have to wait
until I lose 13kg. It's not happening any time soon, I think.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

a home without bacon is not a proper home

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I finished it up last night

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Now I want an embroidered pillow
that says Home Sweet Bacon on it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I would buy one of these if I had any money
However I have just spent £150 I don't have on an original Modern Toss sketch so won't be buying anything for a while.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Will it smell of bacon too?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

IMPORTANT QUESTION
Marco Pierre White claims the best (literally the best) way to cook bacon is in the microwave. Now he's cooked a few things in his time and normally I would trust him implicity but SURELY this is bollocks?

Has anyone tried it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Don't do it,
smells so strongly of urine you wont want to eat it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

If you've got a bacon stand
and like it crispy, he's right!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

if you don't have a bacon stand it is fucking foul
goes really limp and looks terribly unappetising

Marco Pierre White is a wanker.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

My parents gave me a dead posh microwave
that had all these different tray things with it and a book on how to make stuff and it claimed that you could make entire roast dinners in there and cakes and stuff, but I never dared try it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I got a similar one off my parents
when they decided they wanted a smaller one.

It is the business for defrosting sausages, but that's about the only feature I've used other than basic microwaving
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

You talk like grandparents
who've just received a cool mobile phone and use it only for calls.

Go on! Try!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

why, when I have a good oven
and I know how to use it.

I wouldn't want to waste a load of food (and money) trying out something that might not work.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I thought that about steaming and microwaved poached eggs
And I regret I didn't start doing it earlier.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

microwaved poached eggs are fucking awful!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Frying bacon is the only way

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

it's actually really quite good if you cook it in the oven
only streaky though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I quite like it grilled
if I'm hungover, the greasiness makes me feel a bit queasy
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Grilling all the way
I like it proper crispy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

if it doesn't shatter when you poke it with a fork
then it's not cooked
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Aw man I hate glass bacon

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Likewise.
I cook my bacon for a short time, until the fat's melted a bit, but that's all. Making it crispy is just a waste.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

hear hear
You can really taste the flavour and the juiciness if you don't burn it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Burnt food, in general
Is awful. Some people seem to like it, but not me.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Who wants rock hard toast?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I don't burn it
but having it good and crispy unleashes the full bacon flavour
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

^^This
Lightly done toast, with grilled cheese on one of the slices, crispy bacon, fresh lettuce, chili sauce. NOM.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I don't contaminate bacon with salads or sauces!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Rreally? That's mental
I'll check with Wiggy, he proper worships Marco Pierre White, even though I think he's a bit of a douchebag.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

He is an utter spastic (not Wiggy)
but a 3 x Michelin-starred one...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

and he trained Gordon Ramsay
in the Ways of the Prick
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Tried it. Would not try again.
Also tried poaching eggs in the microwave. That took some cleaning up.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

eggs should not be put in the microwave

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Unless you have drawn the faces of your enemies on
and you cackle manically as they explode one by one
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I had overlooked that aspect
I tend to prefer caving their heads in manually with a spoon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I have learned this. The difficult way.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)