Because of the inherent falsehood
or the hideous grammatical errors contained therein?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 8:58, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

The latter, dear boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I assumed as much
but nonetheless I am crushed by this news

*walks away slowly, head, hung, to the music from The Incredible Hulk*

Come to think of it, you probably know what that piece is called
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Sadly not.
I never even got to see that programme when I was a boy, because it was on ITV and until I was about six my mother claimed we could only get BBC on our television, in an attempt to shield me from common people and advertisements.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Hahaha!
They probably had lesbians on ITV too. I bet she's feeling sheepish now.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I am imaginging an alternative universe
where the BBC was actually Channel5 and Monty grew up to be a massive drug taking, binge drinking, bowie loving... HANG ON A MINUTE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)

sheepish contorted with Sapphic lust
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I made a conscious decision to become a Children's BBC kid
I used to turn back to ITV for the Chart Show though (but even that doesn't count because it was Channel 4 first)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I always watched BBC children's programmes.
Except at lunchtime, because ITV had such delights as Rainbow, Jamie and the Magic Torch, and Chorlton and the Wheelies.

The Flumps were on later, on BBC.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Jamie and the magic torch! Fantastic
And Handful of Songs - I liked that too.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Found it!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hsnYdOvlZI
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Handful of Songs
Was that Ralph McTell? The programme where kids sent in pictures and asked for songs to be sung for them?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I hate Ralph McTell
I'll show him something, that'll make him change his mind ABOUT EVER FUCKING SINGING ANYWHERE NEAR ME EVER A-FUCKING-GAIN, the anodyne cockmuncher.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Damn
I'll have to rethink your christmas present then
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:31, Reply)

You take that copy
of 'Bland, Patronising Pseudo-folk hits of the 70s' right back to the shop from which it was purchased.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I watched all those because I was at still at nursery/reception
Let's not forget Cockleshell Bay, followed by The Sullivans.
But at some point in infants or juniors I switched because ITV went shit and I liked the cozy institution of the BBC.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)

The Sullivans were good
really good. Far better than Neighbours.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Remember when Grace died? :(
My ideal parents are Grace Sullivan and Atticus Finch.
I also still pretend I'm Maggie from the pub when I'm working behind the bar.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)

The Sullivans rocked.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Totally
"AH LOOK OUT, SHE'S GOT YER CAP!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Whilst this is both amusing and understandable
It also smacks of bollocks, because I have a feeling that I'm 6 years younger than you for some reason and I saw it on TV. Probably in repeat form, but on TV nonetheless
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Did you see it on ITV?
Can you actually read?
And by the time he was Six Monty had grown out of childrens TV
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I'm sure you'd love to smack some bollocks
but I can assure you that this is 100% true. It meant that I regularly had no idea what people were talking about in the schoolyard. Thank you so much, mother.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Presumably this is why you've made such a point of riding the crest of the zeitgeist wave ever since
To clarify; I didn't mean to intimate that your fable of ITV restriction was bollocks, merely that not seeing ITV before the age of six wouldn't necessarily stop you seeing The Incredible Hulk, as it was repeated after you were six
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Calling him a cunt is quicker.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:30, Reply)

True
Not my style though. I very rarely call someone a cunt, even on B3ta. Unless they deserve it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:32, Reply)

that's why everyone thinks you're gay.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)

why how
thinks knows
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)

If I'd known it was as simple as that...
Chompy, you're a cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Get rid of that comma.
We all know your penis is tiny.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Well spotted
Also: damn
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)