Listen, rachael, I have this friend yeah', let's call him some random name, I donno, Peter Pops or something.
I'm going to cut to the chase, he buy's underwear on the open market, it doesn't matter what kind, from Lasansa to "3 for £10" at ASDA. He says he'll take them in any condition, but the more perma-skiddys, the better. I don't know the details, I don't know what he does with them, and frankly, I don't think I want to know. He'll pay up too, depending on the catagory of previous owner, £4.99 a garment. I think it might be for some sort of performance art project.

If you want, I can give you my address, and I can pass them on. I know you're not short of cash, being on £500kpa, but you know, put a few together and it might sort you out some lippy or something. Oooo, that reminds me, if you can get some lipstick smudges on there, that'll be worth a few bob too.

Nahhhh', it's easy, don't worry, you don't have to wash them at all, he'll sort all that out, apparently.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:04, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And on a really really less creepy and pathetic note.....
... last week I bought a lovely dressing gown, it's all soft, not overly fluffy but really nice, makes me feel all nice and warm and snug, and if I sniff it and think of Chompy, it's a bit like getting a hug from a loved one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:07, Reply)

why do i actually believe that, knowing you AND chompy
this is probably true.

oh god, he is the "friend" who collects the soiled pants, isn't he?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:11, Reply)

SADDEST of SAD FACES if you think I wasn't kidding.
Although thinking about it, I could probably flog them down the cab office if you include a picture or two, you'd get a few bob. One guy made me gag yesterday when he was talking about going down on "Stinky Pussies, love it, two hours I was down there.", and I know he goes with rent-girls, so I joked "How much did you pay?" and he goes "They only charged for one hour for that, I'm _that_ good.".

Oh god, can you imagine that? Grim. Some of those people, and it's not everyone, but there are a few, are real grim scum, who's only good for two things. Bigging themselves up, and aspiring me not to end up like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:23, Reply)

this has made me feel very ill indeed
urgh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:26, Reply)

Yeah', they give me all sorts of tips, like any of them have had a stiffy without a blue pill in the last decade anyway.
Lovely pearls of wisdom like :-
- "When you do her form behind, you've got to grab onto her tits, get really in there, like this *grabs fake tits*, and push it right up inside her"
- "When you get shit on your nob, shove it in her mouth, she'll love it"
- "Ask them if they have any deals on some pills, blues or lines, anything like that. Loads of them have a stash... but don't take any 'disco biscuts'*, you won't be able to cum and she'll charge you for your time."
- [in regards to roullette] "If it comes up on red or black twice in a row, bet on the same colour again, if it doesn't come in, double it and bet on the same colour, keep on going 'till you lose all your money or come out winning".... from a guy who at one point or another confided in me that he was £25k down, so far, this year.

... things like that.

There is one guy who demanded that I sign him up to iTunes, not ask, demanded. Like a twat, I went to do it, but it needs a email address.
"Hurry man, hurry, I got a job, make that email address now", he said to me.
Like a mug, I did it, I said "You know I charge £20/hour for this normally", and he goes "Don't be like that man, do it now".
I did it, no 'thanks', but when it came to it, it needed a card for the iTunes, "I don't have one, put me on your card", "Ermm. No", "I won't do anything to it", "No way, I ain't doing that. You can get an iTunes card in asda, a fiver.". "Ok, I'll come tomorow and then you'll do it for me".

If/when he demands, on friday that I do it, and doesn't ask nicely, I'm gonna tell him where to shove it, and why I'm telling him that, and fuck it if they fire me 'cus of it. I know he'll want to use my computer to put the music and stuff on too, he can get to fuck if he think's that's gonna happen, you can only use one computer to put something on an iPhone, and he says he doesn't have one, so he'll act like he owns my laptop.

I'll say "The person who sold it to you sold an inappropriate phone for you, you're to fucking thick to use it, and you're to fucking tight too. Go down the apple store and pay them to do it instead".

* Yes, exact words, they're _that_ old.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:42, Reply)

Gonz, you need to be focussing on cafe girl
Is seeing her at breakfast tomorrow just because you're going to the cafe and she'll be working?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:19, Reply)

who is cafe girl?
is gonzo cheating on me?? what a way to find out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:20, Reply)

The only details I know are that
1) She's a girl
2) She works in a cafe
3) She might be ginger, and if she isn't then I have no idea where the hell that idea came from
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:22, Reply)

i don't think they let ginger people work with food

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:26, Reply)

There are obvious hygiene problems
But then cafes around here don't often bother with HSE standards anyway.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:28, Reply)

it's an appetite thing too

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Gingers have insatiable hunger?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:30, Reply)

noooooooo
they put you off your food!

not really. i am just bitter because i spent my teens longing for red hair instead of boring dark curly hair.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:36, Reply)

Someone else was after Ginger Fireworks Shop Girl, can't remember who that was.
Cafe Girl has beutiful jet-black shiney hair and comes from an arminian family, and that's all I know really.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:26, Reply)

I sure hope soo !
Worst comes to it, I'll walk away with a nice bacon and egg torpedo roll.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:25, Reply)

And that's no bad outcome anyway

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:25, Reply)

when that it the worst possible outcome
it's going to be a good day
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:27, Reply)