I used a specially adapted can of lager
as a crotch last night. Saw off one end, fill with warm boiled mince, and bingo! Kwik-Save Fleshlight.

EDIT coincidentally this was also the last time I cried. Never again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:01, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Warm boiled mince?
If my vagina has the consistancy of warm boiled mince then I'm never having sex again.


Edit - Actually this may answer a lot of questions.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

You don't know how your vagina feels after all these years of masturbation?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I know how my vagina feels but I don't know how warm boiled mince feels.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Nope, but she can tell you how her lower intestine feels

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

HE'S BACK!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

*looks around*
Who?
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:09, Reply)

AA.
He posted a less-than-stellar Duran Duran joke earlier but this nasty little quip has him right back on form.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

He's always picking on me.
He knows I'm too nice to beat the crap out of him.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

True
You are rather lovely!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)

It's Kwik-Save, you know - you can't be too critical for the price.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Don't blame you for using Kwik-Save
If you used Morrisons, you'd not be able to get Alan Hanson and Richard Hammond out of your head.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

And almost no chance of serious groinal injury

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Duct take the sharp edges
see, it fixes everyhting
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I hope for your sake you deburred the sawn edge of the can
although it might help bring up tears to go with the Lord's Prayer.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

see my edit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

You went there for the good of all mankind
and it is thanks to you that we now know never to go there.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Salty tears?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)