Fuck that shit
andythepieman, if you want actual dating advice, go and ask your dad.

It's now September the first which means there are only thirty days to go until we have to wake up agnostic antichrist.

Tony Blair is now claiming that he cried a lot about sending the armed forces into Iraq and drank a lot to compensate for the emotional stress.

When did you last cry or use alcohol as an emotional crutch?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:30, 200 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Drinking's ace
I'd be a right mess if I weren't on the booze. And now it seems I'll live longer too, there's no down side
( Theoban What of it, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

To drink!
The cause and solution to all of lifes problems
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

What problems does it cause?
The only problem I see is that I'm considerably better than everyone else when I'm drunk, so I might cause some jealousy
( Theoban What of it, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Hangovers can be quite a problem.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

They get significantly worse
once you're old.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Brilliant
Another thing for me to look forward to.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I didn't know what one was before 23

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I got my first one at Download 2005
Not nice at all. It disappeared in a hurry though, when I paid £6.50 for a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I think a lot of it is that I just don't drink anything like I used to
when I went up to Cairns for two weeks I spent every evening shitfaced and really didn't suffer too much at all, but then after a few months of not boozing that much one night would kill me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Not if you never stop drinking
Power on through, gleam the cube, taste the rainbow
( Theoban What of it, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

They sure can
Although I deserve a big gold star for sticking to my 4 pint limit last night thus avoiding a hangover this morning.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I find some of the most annoying hangovers are when
I only popped out for one or two, whereas if you set out for a serious session you can escape them entirley.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I once had a hideous hangover off only 6 bottles of Grolsch (not even the big ones)
Was not happy about that, was the day after I'd moved in.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Indeed
but as a general rule for myself;

4 or less pints = Happy smiley work day
5+ Pints = WHYYYYYY
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Very much this.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Or when you have one in the afternoon and at about 5
BAM HEADACHE. Not cool.

How are you?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I'm good thanks
I spent yesterday at a truly horrific demolition site in Hackney, the whole place stank of piss, shit, rotting food and solvents. I've got to go back each morning to fill some holes with water.

When do you start Uni again?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Scary and unpleasant stuff :( Don't forget the clothes pegs for your nose!
I can't remember when term starts, I imagine around beginning of October. I'm back down to the glorious South East Five on Sunday, though. 3 of us have a nice house in an island of "conservation area" in fuckin' Camberwell.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Nice
I loved having a house in Manchester. There were seven of us in the second year, it was s much fun.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I ended up in Applebite's house after a disasterous night out
it was very nice. Right next to my favourite Syrian restaurant too. Manchester is kind of amazing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

What's her address?
I only need to know for, erm, marketing purposes.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Just ask her :P
I'm sure she'll give the appropriate response, i.e. running away and screaming
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

All you need to fix hangovers is a second nap
You get up, you feel shit, go back to bed for an hour or so a bit later, bam. Hangover gone
( Theoban What of it, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I'm too manly to cry.
And I only use alcohol for fun.

I can contribute nothing to this thread.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Your vagina cries when it doesn't get enough cock
which is why you're constantly on the prowl.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

This is true.
It's all to keep my vagina happy.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

To make your south mouth salivate?
(I apologise, this was on The Cleveland Show last night, and I wanted to be able to use it on here)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

DULL
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Pot, kettle, black.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Pfft.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

isn't it nice how we can all express our opinions.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Some peoples opinions are worth more than others.
Yours are worth a small amount due to you being shit and boring. DiT's are worth a lot as he has a hot wife with a sweety fetish.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I think you'll find it's all relative Al.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Your relatives are shit and boring too

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I bored out your relatives' shit holes.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Am I supposed to feel bad now?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

nope
it's only the internet.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

HAHA look it's funny telling people it's only the internet

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I learnt from some cunt

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Well, that's fucking lucky considering I couldn't give a shit.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Watch out DiT
he'll get the last word
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I'm sure it'll be *hilarious*
That, or it'll be really tedious, and contain a complaint about the perceived 'rules' of the internet.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

thanks for sharing cunt face.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Wow, I have never felt so insulted in my life. Well done, that was a very original put down.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

it was meant to be loving and jovial.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)

See, he's doing the last word thing.
I told you he would
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Did you?
*does that last word thing*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Yes I did
*does last word thing better than DiT*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Alcohol would be in heavy use for me currently
But I can't, stupid bills stealing my money.

Ahh well, when I can find my Tenancy agreement, I can apply for housing benefits, meaning I might actually be able to pay my bills AND have a life!

And last time I cried was about a month back, seeing my friend off at the airport, that was fucking hard.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I always use alcohol as a crotch.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I prefer the inside of my elbow joint
SEXEH!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

can you even reach that?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

He's had ribs removed

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Last night.
The night before that and the last few years.

It's ok though because I'm crying on the inside, like a clown.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:35, Reply)

You looked lovely on holiday
but Davros' shins kept distracting me from you and tourettes.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Haha!
His legs were a thing of wonder, weren't they.

Poor love.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:40, Reply)

When
I last read one of Al's posts.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I cry every day at the beauty of the world.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:39, Reply)

fag

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I just saw a bird land on a branch
*sobs uncontrollably*
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Have you misplaced your y chromosome again?
Cos I can't keep stealing you new ones from the lab you know.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

It's been extracted cell by cell by all the evil women in the world.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Actually that doesn't make sense, there's more cells in my body than women on the planet.
It's actually because all the WHORES on the pill VOMIT oestrogen from their CUNTS into MY WATER.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

you're not that fat.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Yes very funny but it shows a total lack of understanding about the size of cells,
there's probably more cells just in your brain tits umm... arm? than there is women in the world.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

there ARE
/grammarpolice
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

stop ruining my awesome zings with your book lurning.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I know there are mazillions of cells you spaz
but that wouldn't have worked for my joke now would it?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

it was funny because I was calling you stupid and flatchested.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

yeah I got that

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

and that you've got massive arms.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

I thought that was very subtly done and I liked it.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

You are Fotherington-Thomas AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

hullo clouds hullo sky hullo applebite arn't you glad our cottage is called swete lavendar?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

As any fule kno.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

This morning in the car
because the school term begins tomorrow and my babies are growing up.

Who am I turning into?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Chompy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

harsh

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Awwwww
Are they off to big school?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

No - that was last year.
They'll be year 8s.
Nugget #1 has a new blazer to fit a 15yr old that his father purchased and it's TOO SMALL! Huge in the body but too short in the arms. I laughed a lot when he tried it on this morning as he's got giant hands and skinny arms, skinny body, skinny legs, giant feet.
My son is a human Labrador puppy.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I was in year 8 ten years ago
That's just depressing
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

You're depressed?!
I was teaching back then and before I had them...I could have been your teacher.

Crumbs.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I bet you would have been the inappropriate kind.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Me?
I did once narrowly avoid propositioning the head boy when I was teaching in a senior school - I thought he was one of the gardeners and he was only about five years younger than me at the time.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

No chance
My teachers were all bitches. I look through female teachers I've had through school, and I've liked 2 of them. The only other one I liked was the Deputy Head at my High School, she was pretty ace.

The rest of them were shitbags, so I'm certain you weren't one, haha.

Then again, this happened at my school, so who knows?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I thought that said "I've killed two of them"
I was all o_O
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Nahh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

My mother, sister and I were discussing marriage last night
My mum was around my age when she got together with my dad, and my sister's age when they married.

FUCK
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:55, Reply)

My mum and dad had already had my sister when they were my age

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I've had your sister

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I like this

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

SETTLE DOWN AND START BREEDING NAOW

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I was only
twelve when I had the boys*



*may contain lies
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I can believe this : o

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

She was a dreadful slut when she started secondary school

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I love the word slut
It sounds great. Seriously, I do like the way it sounds - not the meaning, obviously.
Makes me think of a paper yogurt carton filled to the top and knocked by someone so some 'sluts' out onto the table.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I love you.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Size?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Oi!
I'll have you know I'm a size 8/10 in the USA. I have the trousers to prove it.

And I'm still smaller than the average UK woman, apparently.
Anymore of that lip and I'll sit on you when I see you next.
Erm...that doesn't sound the way I meant it to sound....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Well, looks like my job is to be sat on by b3ta women
For some reason, this doesn't bother me too much!

Also, I'll say it to you as you're here, I've lost weight now! I can wear 32" jeans again, it's awesome!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I prefer US sizes as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:19, Reply)

My mother was married by my age
now that's a scary thought. They didn't have children for another ten years thankfully
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Your mum?

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Nah, she doesn't cry at anything
Rock hard.
She's like Biffa Bacon's mum.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Pretty sure it's not a good idea to get shitfaced when driving

( Theoban What of it, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Hahaha!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

I cried during an argument yesterday because I was tired and over-stressed
I don't actually like alcohol, fact fans.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:44, Reply)

When you say you don't like alcohol.
Do you mean the taste or the effect drinking has on you?

Tears are for wimps.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Both, really
Though it changes depending on how I feel. I enjoy gin, Jager and SoCo when prepared the way I like it, but I get really irritated with drunk people (and anyone who's seen me drunk will now accuse me of being the biggest hypocrite ever)
In short, alcohol has made me do very many stupid things.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Chillax.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I'm wound up quite tight
-twitches-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

You need someone to give you a rub-down.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I'm actually having the twitches I get when I'm incredibly stoned
it's alarming

-flails-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Erm...
You do realise that those 'twitches' are seizures?
Not all seizures are flailing limbs and being unconscious....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

convulsions not seizures
thicko
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Do explain the difference
To all of us thickos out there.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Seizures are always related to a disease,
specifically a disease suddenly taking hold of you.
Convultions are involuntary muscle movements.
The confusion being epileptic seizures often are accompanied by convultions.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Erm...
"A seizure is the physical findings or changes in behavior that occur after an episode of abnormal electrical activity in the brain." and
Convulsions are when a person's body shakes rapidly and uncontrollably. During convulsions, the person's muscles contract and relax repeatedly.

The term "convulsion" is often used interchangeably with "seizure," although there are many types of seizures, some of which have subtle or mild symptoms instead of convulsions. Seizures of all types are caused by disorganized and sudden electrical activity in the brain."
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000021.htm
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003200.htm

Convulsions tend to be major - in as much as you notice them. Seizures are often barely noticed.

Thicko.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I'm just going to stick with "twitches" then.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I generally like to get my information about the meanings of words from dictionarys
not medical websites
dictionary.reference.com/browse/seizure
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:30, Reply)

*Points and laughs*

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

If you persist with chopping logic in such a cack handed manner and calling people "thicko"...
...Then sooner or later either chickenlady, Al or Enzyme will make minced-meat out of you.

/personal experience.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

You make it sound serious.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

In that case I seize a lot
I have about 4 a week that can be so strong I fall out of my chair.
Excellent times.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

No you don't, seizures are always related to a disease,
specifically a disease suddenly taking hold of you.
Convultions are involuntary muscle movements.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Then I convulse a lot
I prefer "convulse" actually.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Poked anyone with a spliff yet?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Annoying word is annoying

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I know.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

The last time I cried was on your wedding day. I don't think the pain will ever stop.
I have been drinking ever since, and yet, and yet, I still feel empty.

(Proper Answer - I cry at really fucking stupid things. Like, I shed a tear at that bit in A Knight's Tale when Heath Ledger goes back to his blind dad and they are reunited.)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Reading a newspaper article a fortnight ago
I didn't cry but came close. It was about a woman who'd committed suicide in prison where she'd been serving life for the murder of her 7 year-old son. It was awful.

I don't drink when sad/depressed/stressed.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

I'm not really a drinker
so I've never used it in times of crisis.

I think I'm a comfort eater. Luckily I'm happy most of the time so I'm not a lolfatty yet.

I cried at stupid Grey's stupid Anatomy the other day which was massively lame. Especially since I've seen that episode several times. I don't cry IRL, only at TV shows.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I cried at the episode of er
when Goose died of head cancer
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I cried in House
when Wilson talks to his dead girlfriend, House hears him whispering and thinks he's going mad, works out what's going on, and at the end of the episode says "Hello, Dad..."


:(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I've never cried at a TV show, only films
Although I did almost get a little teary when Buffy sacrificed herself to save Dawn
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

God, SPOILER ALERT!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:06, Reply)

It's alright, they bring her back to life at the start of season 6, only she loses her memory
and then it turns out she's part demon.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:08, Reply)

And they thought they'd brought her back from Hell, when she was actually in Heaven
This is all revealed in song.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:09, Reply)

that episode is great
although that particular song is dreadful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

It is a genius episode
Mainly for the opening song

"She's not even half the girl she...ow"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

My favourite line is "hell, I've died twice!"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I cry at just about EVERY television programme
I'm crap at holding back the tears.

*awaits Simply Red*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Did you cry at the last episode of friends?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)

I thought he died in that plane crash

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Nahh
It's like when Boromir is killed by that satellite dish landing on him.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I did actually cry last night.
I watched a programme about kids in Zimbabwe and went all Madonna.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

you adopted one?
or you started growing arm muscles bigger than your head with scary veins?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I had the urge to adopt them.
If I had her money, I would be on the plane now.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'm going to adopt a black baby. They're way cuter.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I wonder if I could find one to match my cushions.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:59, Reply)

courdroy?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Chenille.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

racist

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Pffft!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Dad
I don't talk to my dad. He's a bigger twat than i am.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Is your dad BobbyPires?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Why be so personal Al? It's only the internet. Besides my name is BobbyChomp now.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I used a specially adapted can of lager
as a crotch last night. Saw off one end, fill with warm boiled mince, and bingo! Kwik-Save Fleshlight.

EDIT coincidentally this was also the last time I cried. Never again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Warm boiled mince?
If my vagina has the consistancy of warm boiled mince then I'm never having sex again.


Edit - Actually this may answer a lot of questions.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

You don't know how your vagina feels after all these years of masturbation?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I know how my vagina feels but I don't know how warm boiled mince feels.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Nope, but she can tell you how her lower intestine feels

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

HE'S BACK!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

*looks around*
Who?
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:09, Reply)

AA.
He posted a less-than-stellar Duran Duran joke earlier but this nasty little quip has him right back on form.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

He's always picking on me.
He knows I'm too nice to beat the crap out of him.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

True
You are rather lovely!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)

It's Kwik-Save, you know - you can't be too critical for the price.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Don't blame you for using Kwik-Save
If you used Morrisons, you'd not be able to get Alan Hanson and Richard Hammond out of your head.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

And almost no chance of serious groinal injury

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Duct take the sharp edges
see, it fixes everyhting
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I hope for your sake you deburred the sawn edge of the can
although it might help bring up tears to go with the Lord's Prayer.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

see my edit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

You went there for the good of all mankind
and it is thanks to you that we now know never to go there.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Salty tears?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Are you really asking me Al?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Well, not specifically you
I opened the question to anyone who wanted to answer, but that includes you so by all means chip in. Was it when you met me and realised that I was all you ever wanted in a man but that I was getting married and that's why you both cried and used alcohol as an emotional crutch.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Though that extrapolation was magnificent
it is sadly wrong.

Actually I haven't cried in months, possibly years. I last used alcohol as an emotional crutch several months back
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

When you first met me and you were worried you were going to get so wet you would leak on the floor

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:19, Reply)

that is really rather disgusting
and still untrue. I cried because I never realised such terrible cuntery existed in the world
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:25, Reply)

last cried on saturday night afterwork.
it was stressful and I was the only waitress on and I got yelled at by customers because I enforced the restaurant policy brought-in pre-mixed drinks.
And there were heaps of customers.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:08, Reply)

What policy is this?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:10, Reply)

we only allow wine to be brought in, nothing else.
because that's what it says on our liquor license. There is a bloody great sign on the front door that says "BYO WINE ONLY" right at eye level, and I had to ask her to either remove herself from the premises or stop drinking her premixes. and she cracked it at me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Interesting
I wondered why some restaurants had signs like that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:20, Reply)

it's to do with liquor licensing.
cos thing is you can be inspected at any time, so if you have someone breaking the terms of your license, it can be revoked and for a lot of businesses that can be what shuts them down.
So yeah, I went by the rules, and I was trying to be as tactful as possible, I asked to speak to her privately for a minute - explained our licensing rules and then told her that she either had to stop drinking them or leave, and then got torn a new one for "being disrespectful and money-grabbing".
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Last night I had wine and the baby cried.
That almost answers your question.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Does your milk become aloholic when you've been drinking?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)

My little sister
is still bullied every Christmas (by my dear brother and me) for crying when we went to see ET when she was about 6.

And for the time she farted at the Christmas dinner table in front of our grandmother - and tried so hard to suppress her laughter then she promptly pissed herself. She was at least 20 when this happened.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)

come on, I flipping cried at that movie when I was the same age.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

*bullies*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

*cries*

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

I cried the first time I saw that movie
Aged 14.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Several of my friends cry at it, I still don't quite get why...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:19, Reply)

I cried at the Alien 'ride' at Disney when I was 8

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:19, Reply)

ET
The first film I watched on 'pirate' video.

I don't recall getting emotional, but I know my sister his her Speak n Spell when it was over, incase I tried to make a alien telephone thing out of it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I was terrified of that film
And it has left me with a lasting fear of things that are small, shrivelled and grey. Which means that when I'm 70, my cock will give me the serious fear
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:22, Reply)

FUCK OFF AL
It's boss asking B3ta for advice.
It sparks amusing conversations, you are provided with some options to try should you ever get really desperate, and you get attention.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Go and steal some hub cabs and get your perm redone.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Roota Family Reunion

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:29, Reply)

There's me nana!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:41, Reply)