My sore bollocks are forcing my hand
Hello,

Some of you may have read my "hilarious" scrapes involving cycling and the preceding accidents. Well this time i've pushed it one step to far. Through having complete disregard for my own health and safety i'm currently writing this with huge swollen bollocks and a urine infection that is so painful i'm considering a call to the Guinness Book of Records. Basically, i had a saddle sore from marathon cycling events that i did let heal, this caused a horrible infection to spread. "What a cunt", these were the words of Mrs captaincuntybollocks. So the upshot of this is i've been forced off my bike for a very long time. When the right QOTW comes up i'll explain the weird events around this incident, weirdest month of my life!

So i'm selling my precious Dolan 54cm Track Champion Track Bike. If any one is interested in this then let me know and i'll forward you the gumph and pictures. It is in mint condition and comes with a 50mm tubular carbon wheelset. There will of course be the obligatory captaincuntybollocks special offer for b3tan's and a pint at my local in Leeds. Anyway, let me know if your interested or anyone you know is into fixed gear/track cycling. You'll get your 1 pint finders fee for this.

Bring on the ball bag gags...
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:03, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lance Armstrong, Mark II

(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

You've dropped a bollock there.
How much money have you spent on your bike, and was it worth it for knackered nackers?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:13, Reply)

brilliant
best one i've heard in days! I've spent well over a grand on it and i know i'm going to take hit on that. Totally worth it.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

You might think it's worth it
But give it a couple of weeks and your Mrs won't be happy.

Just think how frustrating it is when they are up on blocks?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:19, Reply)

The docs have warned me off all hairy handed adolescent shenanigans for several weeks. The Mrs..... The electric toothbrush should suffice for now, failing that i'll get the Black and Decker out.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:23, Reply)

When you say Black and Decker
I assume you'll be saying to her, 'Well, that's me fucked love, you might us well mow the lawn or put some fucking shelves up, I've got nothing to offer you'

You can then sit back and apply soothing cream to your angry nads.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Spot on
I hope that no one misinterprets my previous comment with sexual innuendo. I'm not wasting my time wiring the Mrs up to the mains with several 100 volts frying her vag, tut..the thought! The sideboards won't put themselves together anytime soon and i live in flat but i'm sure if i asked around for gardening duties i could find her gardening work between rubbing lotion on my sack and the general DIY.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:32, Reply)

I'd be more tempted
if I thought I could actually afford it and that I'd be able to cycle back to wigan on it along the canal without falling in.
( CowJam, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:24, Reply)

to be fair
you can fit a front brake to it but back to wigan may be a chore.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:34, Reply)

I got my first 'proper' bike
from chevin cycles in otley and rode it back to cookridge (I used to live next to the telecomms tower). That was bad enough.
( CowJam, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:37, Reply)

A mere piss in the Pond my friend
I did John O'groates to lands end in five days on a fixed gear bike. Hence why i'm so fucked now. My body feels very odd to, not sure why but i feel like i've been on a awful come down over the last three weeks.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:40, Reply)

ive just got a bike
i love it a proper lot. round my mums i played out until the other kids bullied me because im old but round mine i have no one to ride my bike with :((((
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:30, Reply)

ahhh

(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Can you get stableisers for adults?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 18:27, Reply)

Bring on the ball gags?

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Bike frame sizes are measured in inches.
Unless you're some kind of hideous leg-shaving permalycra'd roadie Mary. What's that? Oh...

how much? not that I can afford it right now..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)

In old money it is a 21 inch frame. I want £750 for it but if your interested i'm sure a deal can be struck. I am a lycra wearing perv and proud!
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)