No I will not sleep with you and your ex-girlfriend.
She's fugly.


Edit - that wasn't lately though.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:02, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Best of all the reasons

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

What do you think paper bags are for

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

He should have kept a stack of them for all his exes.
He wasn't that fussy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

OK
well I don't remember asking, but I like that you don't beat about the bush. I'll guess I'll cut down the Pampas grass that's in my front garden.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I was invited to have a threesome with a really beautiful girl once and her bloke
but I was too scared and I'd just started dating Wiggy, didn't think he'd appreciate it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I've never been invited to a threesome
not even with proper uggos. Sadface.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Me neither
Closest I got was sleeping between two hot female friends in a double bed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I've been in that position, with both girls horny
But my parents came back, so we had to get dressed quick sharp. Fuck, it was fun being a teenager, could actually get away with this shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

They're not that great to be honest
One ended in hysterical laughter, probably not the best!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I think I'd be too nervous and shy
yes I said shy, shut up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Doesn't surprise me
I'm yet to meet you, so I reserve all judgement from what you've written. So far, all I can tell is that Wiggy is a lucky sod.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

No he's not
Read above, she's a lazy, high-maintenance shitehawk.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Oof, enjoying being back at work then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

No
And I'm lashing out as a result of it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Never would have guessed you know
This might cheer you up though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

It did
Thanks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

No worries

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

You are the mind of Victor Lewis-Smith
AICMFP
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Best piece of advice
is just stop doing things to make up for it. People notice soon enough when there aren't enough clean plates, and the sweet wrappers cover the table (or they don't have enough money to pay bills)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

We don't live together
So it'd just be letting my flat get messier and messier. She does have a good tendency to blitz the bathroom though, although that does mean she reckons that exonerates her for any and all transgressions, past, present and future.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I think you mentioned
that she lives with her parents. So messing her place up won't work.

You could be terribly passive-aggressive and clean up around her as it happens. But only do that if it really really annoys you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I just ask nicely
And try not to sound exasperated.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

oh shit, I do this, I didn't realise you were on to me.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I knew it!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

accurate

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)

you love her anyway

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

hard not to

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

:D

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

^this
SO MUCH this. You have no idea.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Like cars
good in theory, but in practice too many handbrakes in awkward places.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

If I was going to have a threesome
I think I'd hire an expensive escort. I don't understand these people who have sex parties with their friends, it's weird.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I couldn't
I've seen my friends.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

probably this
Though as AA said, the good thing about friends is that laughter is an alright conclusion
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

We turned the TV off as we started, then I kneeled on the remote, turning it back on
Sealab 2021 was on TV, very hard to keep a straight face when you can hear that!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

If I'm paying her then I'll laugh if I damn well want.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

What about that time with Crusher and Barry in cell 6?

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

That wasn't a threesome
it was a gang rape. Thanks for bringing up repressed memories.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)