So a couple of days ago I got a call from a recruitment company. It happens sometimes. I'm not looking for another job, but it sounded vaguely interesting so I said why not, chuck them my CV. They wanted a phone interview, so booked it for my lunchtime. Had a chat with them, they seemed nice enough, technical questions weren't terribly technical but whatever, at that stage I guess they just wanted to make sure I knew what a computer was. Then they wanted to get me in for a face to face.

Well we're really short-staffed at the moment and to make the interview for when they wanted to hold it, I'd have to really screw over my colleagues. It was only a punt, so I'm not prepared to do that and give them an alternative date. I figure if they really want to see me, they'll make arrangements. Sure enough, I get a call back. Rather than meet me at the office, which I can drive to, they want to meet me at a coffee shop outside a tube station in the middle of central London. This would take most of my morning off to get to and back and cost me over thirty quid for bus, train and tube fares. They know perfectly well which town I live in but scheduled the meeting to be more convenient for the interviewer than the interviewee, so I told them I was no longer interested.

Have you had any unreasonable requests lately?
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:31, 193 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes all day every day

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Examples, woman

( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)

^this

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Have you filed your TPS reports?
I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)

mmmmmmmmmkay

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Cool story bro

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Hey, man
Thanks for your interest.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Ok I'll tell you about the most unreasonable request I've ever had.
It was from my mother. When I was younger I think this was about when I first went to high school so year 7 or something. I was bored at school and with life and so generally a trouble maker, it got me into fights occasionally. Anyway I digress, back to the story. I remember the date as 20th of May because it was just before my birthday, anyway I met some local MK people, (I'm MK born and raised) and went down to the park to play. Now we were arseing about in the neighbourhood park like kids the world over do all the time, but on this fateful day two local youths came over. They started making trouble in my neighbourhood, after one little fight my mum got scared/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Oh man
that sucks. If only you had a rich uncle you could stay with, or something.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:42, Reply)

byt then what happened?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Independance day.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

on the 21st of May?
Are you MAD?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

lol jk i never left MK

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

And why would you?

( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

because
I found the train station
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

When's your birthday we could be birthday buddies?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

24th

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

25th
close! although you share your bday with approx 9mil others.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

20th! I win!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

This could be an excuse for a massive summer b3ta bender
and I don't mean the Cat Hater
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

*wets pants*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

No, sorry.

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)

yeah
"Get off me"
"leave me alone"
"Stop touching me"
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)

that hardly qualifies as unreasonable
stick to the subject, or come up with a cure for my hungover, or give your address to somebody you've never met, or punch a kitten, or GTFO
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

lucozade and bacon sandwich

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:42, Reply)

can of coke
and a portion of chips, plenty of salt.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

oh man, I like the sound of this, but I'll have to wait until lunch. You do mean the non fizzy lucozade though, yeah?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Original Lucozade

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

god no
original is minging

I tend to go with fizzy orange lucozade. the still stuff will probably work though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I can drink the original stuff
Not tried any of those fancy flavours.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

the orange one is nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

POTW

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

oh wow
thanks

I don't even have a speech prepared
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I only realised this place has a popular page yesterday, if that doesn't make the top there's something not right going on here

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I wouldn't be surprised
the quality isn't very high
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

where is this popular page?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

go back to the main off topic page
there's a link near the top that says Popular. Click that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)

You are my carer

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

that would imply that I care

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

No it would imply you are paid
neither of which are true.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

at the top of the page
see the link that says Popular?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)

patronising post is patronising

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

ha quality
Never knew that. This has added an element of competition to B3ta that for me was not there before.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

it showed

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

It's here:
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=21103
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I'm pretty shocked that I'm not on there 100% of the time really

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

yeah and the cherry and the tropical
and original, I love lucozade
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

First you were tempting me (albeit not on purpose) to try weed
Now Orange Lucozade. What next, Neurofen instead of Tesco cheapo ibuprofen?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

good lord no
that's crazy talk
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Original is better than orange
the lemon one is also good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

once again you are wrong
although the lemon one is nice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)

The orange is sticky
and too sweet.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Good, I'm glad there are limits
I like my 16p ibuprofen
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Psssssst
Nurofen Plus mate. It's the bollocks.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I'm currently favouring Anadin Extra with caffeine
but only because Wiggy bought it, I'm a cheapo own-brander.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Why not just take cheapo own brand with a red bull?
Tesco only let you buy 2 packs of pills at once. I had to keep going round when I had my teeth out.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

you're all wrong, wrong like the wrongest wrongness

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

hangover cure
stop drinking take drugs
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I have a hard enough time with the drink, thanks all the same

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

where were you last night
I was sat up all night waiting for you to come round.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

hahahah

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

sup
JTDF
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I'm good mate.
How are you?

You've been quiet on the stalking of gingers front recently. Not ill are you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

No just been busy and in a really good mood lately.
Am going out with a brunette at the weekend. Fucking mental mate. How's things in grumpy ville?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Fucking average! :-)
Where you taking this brunette on the weekend?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

'up the shitter'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Proper LOL from me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

then back in the mouth to finish off

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I've seen that in a video.
The woman in the film said she loved doing that. But I reckon she was being paid to say/do it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

put it this way would you stick a pop ice up your arse
then lick it clean...........
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

No.
But I would bite into it and crunch it up. I use Sensodyne.

Mr Freeze? Meet Mr DogFucker and his ring of pleasure.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I bite ice creams. Freaks people out.
I see your sensodyne and raise you CORSODYLL
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I take your Corsodyll
And re-raise you a Rohypnol.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I fold
and am subsequently raped I imagine.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Ha
Flicks then pub. I'm classy me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

The cinema is a gash shout
Taking a Doris out for the night, stick her in a dark room and don't speak to her for 2 hours?

Go for a meal and a few drinks, far more enjoyable. Unless she mings to the highest mong and you don't want to be seen with her?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

she is a geek like me so she really wants to see
Scott Pilgrim. She is a mate of a mate who set us up. I have met her at parties and she seems pretty cool. You can't take girls out for meals when you have a beard, too much risk of a clinger on the moustache.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

She sounds like a cider and black sort of girl.
That is a worry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

snakebite = binned
I know she drinks that bacardi mojito stuff as last party she was at she was caning it.

edit - I hadn't been invited I was watching at the window masturbating furiously
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Are you going to give her the acid test
seeing how many nerd jokes she gets in Scott Pilgrim?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Monty might be able to help with getting the acid for the test.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Well it's my second watch so I'll be watching to see where she laughs.
I hope it goes well, I need someone to look after me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

For the love of all God
don't say that to her. She will run a fucking mile. Nobody wants to look after someone else
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I was joking Amberl
I am a responsible adult.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Irn Bru, bacon, and a Mars Bar.
And plenty of water.

This is a hangover cure, not an unreasonable request.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Killing yourself would get rid of your hangover - why not give it a try?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

that's really pleasant and totally uncalled for, what sort of a person encourages suicide?
I suspect you mean have deep personal and socail issues, Dave, get yourself checked hmm?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Full English
Sweet Tea
Can full-cream Coke
Hot Bath
Back to Bed for a Bit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I hope to hell
that I continue never having hangovers. That sounds like hard work
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I had my first hangover at 25.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Apologies if rude but..
are you under 28?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

yes
but with the provisio that my dad who is most definitely nowhere near 28, has never had a hangover either
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Lucky man
I am 37 in a few weeks (*doesn't cry*)and the hangovers can last for two bastard days.

Didn't really get them intil I was 28.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Unlucky
you must have thought you'd escaped them. My brother was pleased in the genetic knowledge of dad's capacity, he never had a hangover either, until he was 20 (he's a year younger than me.) Obviously takes after mum
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I've had a few
But I rarely get them. I'm lucky!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I'm 37 on the 30th.
Are you me?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I am the 30th too.
I think you are just round the corner from where I work as I think you are near the Bagel shop on Brick Lane?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Monty in schizo-break shocker

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

No I'm not.
Yes you are.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I got crippling hangovers
from the day I started drinking. I think it's more to do with dehydration than genetics. I hardly drink any water, never have done and am looking forward with breathless anticipation to my first gallstone.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Ouch!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Perhaps ironically
I've just had a stabbing pain in my kidney.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Were
you out on the piss last night?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

He left out the having a vigorous wank part, to spare your blushes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Wiggy cooks tea every day for me
yesterday, he wasn't hungry so he didn't want tea. He suggested I have one of my packet pasta meal things. And then, get this, he refused to make it for me. I had to do everything, boiling the water, stirring the mix, it was unbelievable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Did you have to open the packet too?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Yes
But she made a big song and dance about it all, lots of loud sighing, huffing and puffing, banging the pans around, and leaving everything out on the side afterwards.

She didn't even rinse the pan out after, just left it so that the excess pasta hardened to the side.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.
She does not qualify.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

After typing all that out (thus making it FACT)
I'm actually fucking enraged with Kitty.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

:D
I did put the pan to soak afterwards, I'm not that much of a princess.

And I listened to him tell me about his day at work and I pretended to be interested in the stuff I didn't understand.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I'm teaching Em to put things to soak
It's a slow process, but necessary for my sanity.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I always put things to soak
the problem is I then forget about them. I try so hard to clean up after myself when I bake but he always manages to find traces of icing sugar somewhere.

I'm getting better, I'm trying really hard to be less chaotic but because I have so many projects on the go all the time it's hard. Plus a lot of the stuff I do, like the sewing and my design work, have to be spread out. Everything he does is on a computer. You should see his desktop, it's a right shit tip.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I try to keep my desktop tidy at home
Em has an annoying habit of leaving sweet wrappers on the side, when there's a bin RIGHT FUCKING THERE!
At least she doesn't put them back in the tin, people who do that should be shot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I meant the computer desktop
The actual desk is covered in Wiggy's wires and crap, I'm not allowed to touch it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Well that's just plain wrong
My desktop is minimalistic joy. No icons on it, that's what quicklaunch toolbar is for.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

You must be used to that.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

yeah pretty much
people were having a big debate about religion on facebook yesterday so I hid them all. Stupid people with their stupid opinions clogging up my feed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

yeah I fucking did!
I could have been killed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

*has flashbacks to every single night that Em comes 'round*
To be fair, she cooked us lunch a couple of times on holiday.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)

pfffft.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

You fucking idle shit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Obviously I was joking
although he does make me tea every day because he enjoys really cooking and I don't. Plus he always complains when I cook tea so it's really better for everyone if I stay out of the kitchen.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

The fact that you having to do a bit of work
is such an event that you feel the need to make this whole song and dance about it makes me think that even if you're joking you're still an idle shit.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

That's disgusting
you should definitely protest. I bet he even made you carry the bowl over to the table didn't he?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

He did, he wouldn't even get up and get me a fork after I realised I'd forgotten it
sometimes I wonder if he even loves me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

In the morning do you reach your hand out and bellow
"COFFEE"?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Haha that would get me fucking nowhere, I'm up at six, he's up at about half eight.
At the weekend we have an agreement that whoever gets up first makes the coffee. On the rare occasions he is up before me he tries to sneak out of the bedroom but I always hear him and say coffee before he gets out the door.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Ninja skillz
Kitty doesn't sleep, she waits.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I love this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Wow
you should totally dump him.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Is Wiggy Jesus?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

he doesn't look a thing like Jesus.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

But he talks like a gentleman?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I don't know the rest of the words.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

If only you had some kind of international collective knowledgebase at your fingertips.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I did think about that
but I couldn't be bothered googling Killers lyrics when I'll end up on some forum where people write "ZOMG Brandon is so HAWT!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Just reinforcing how lazy you are

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

haha shit.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Bone idle person is bone idle

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I know, he's so lazy isn't he!
bastard.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I bet you are actually serious as well
outrageous
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

hehe
When he put the packet in front of me I did bat it towards him and looked pathetic but he told me to sod off.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

That's really unfair
How does he dare. Doesn't he realise that you're the best that has ever happened to him and has to look afer you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I frequently say to him "think what you'd do without me"
and he usually replies with "I'm just thinking of all the things I'd be able to afford"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

He should rattle off a list of your friends

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

he did say my sister once
I'd slap him if he didn't enjoy it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

That Pinko Magenta wotsit friend of yours
Is quite the looker, if I recall.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I'll tell her that
she's a giant scary goth. Like nearly 6' tall. She's one of my pole students, when she has her dreads you don't want to get in the way, they really hurt when they whip you!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Don't be all "My mate thinks you're fit" about it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I'm totally going to write that.
I'm going to describe you as a facestalker as well.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Oh man that's well harsh
And not true either. You're so mean.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

You're totally her type
so I don't want to make you seem too appetising
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Oh, well that's a plan I 'spose
But surely you can just say "He's already got a girlfriend", and achieve the same result without me looking bad?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

No I will not sleep with you and your ex-girlfriend.
She's fugly.


Edit - that wasn't lately though.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Best of all the reasons

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

What do you think paper bags are for

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

He should have kept a stack of them for all his exes.
He wasn't that fussy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

OK
well I don't remember asking, but I like that you don't beat about the bush. I'll guess I'll cut down the Pampas grass that's in my front garden.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I was invited to have a threesome with a really beautiful girl once and her bloke
but I was too scared and I'd just started dating Wiggy, didn't think he'd appreciate it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I've never been invited to a threesome
not even with proper uggos. Sadface.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Me neither
Closest I got was sleeping between two hot female friends in a double bed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I've been in that position, with both girls horny
But my parents came back, so we had to get dressed quick sharp. Fuck, it was fun being a teenager, could actually get away with this shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

They're not that great to be honest
One ended in hysterical laughter, probably not the best!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I think I'd be too nervous and shy
yes I said shy, shut up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Doesn't surprise me
I'm yet to meet you, so I reserve all judgement from what you've written. So far, all I can tell is that Wiggy is a lucky sod.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

No he's not
Read above, she's a lazy, high-maintenance shitehawk.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Oof, enjoying being back at work then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

No
And I'm lashing out as a result of it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Never would have guessed you know
This might cheer you up though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

It did
Thanks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

No worries

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

You are the mind of Victor Lewis-Smith
AICMFP
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Best piece of advice
is just stop doing things to make up for it. People notice soon enough when there aren't enough clean plates, and the sweet wrappers cover the table (or they don't have enough money to pay bills)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

We don't live together
So it'd just be letting my flat get messier and messier. She does have a good tendency to blitz the bathroom though, although that does mean she reckons that exonerates her for any and all transgressions, past, present and future.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I think you mentioned
that she lives with her parents. So messing her place up won't work.

You could be terribly passive-aggressive and clean up around her as it happens. But only do that if it really really annoys you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I just ask nicely
And try not to sound exasperated.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

oh shit, I do this, I didn't realise you were on to me.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I knew it!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

accurate

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)

you love her anyway

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

hard not to

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

:D

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

^this
SO MUCH this. You have no idea.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Like cars
good in theory, but in practice too many handbrakes in awkward places.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

If I was going to have a threesome
I think I'd hire an expensive escort. I don't understand these people who have sex parties with their friends, it's weird.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I couldn't
I've seen my friends.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

probably this
Though as AA said, the good thing about friends is that laughter is an alright conclusion
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

We turned the TV off as we started, then I kneeled on the remote, turning it back on
Sealab 2021 was on TV, very hard to keep a straight face when you can hear that!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

If I'm paying her then I'll laugh if I damn well want.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

What about that time with Crusher and Barry in cell 6?

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

That wasn't a threesome
it was a gang rape. Thanks for bringing up repressed memories.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)