Look at the bright side
Alcohol and men in shorts. No need no more to be happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:49, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

men morons
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)

shut your face!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

you can't argue that most footballers aren't quite dim

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)

David James has a degree.
and my argument stops there. As it's run out of steam.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I know a lot of idiots with degrees
what is his in?

shouting?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I think it's in having very bad hair and being crap at catching.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Being a shit keeper who is fucking up my season.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Mark Lawrenson has nine o'levels.
and played in a Liverpool team who collectively had , err 9 o'levels.

Though their former players Steve Heighhway and Brian Hall both had degrees. Fromer Tottenham winger Tony Galvin had a degree in Russian, thus proving once and for all that Spurs' players are superior to Arsenal's.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I'm on a roll now
Seyi Olofinjana (currently on loan at Cardiff)has a degree in something like chemical engineering.
Former Reading & Newcastle goalie Shaka Hislop has a degree in summat to do with rocket science.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)

sexy morons, you mean.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)

if idiots do it for you then sure
knock yourself out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

You can't be so unfair
They are stupid, yes, and? I'm not having a chat with them, you see? I'm looking at them on screen. Or do you think all those porn actressess that you like so much are super clever scientists?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I can be as unfair as I like.
that's irrelevant however, if a woman is clearly stupid it makes her much less attractive.

That is why Kelly Brook is not the most attractive woman who ever lived
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Top knockers though

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

oh yeah
she is stunning, but because she is quite dim, she's not right at the top of the list
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

That doesn't stop anyone watching porn
as I said, I'm not going to talk with them and, you like it or not, most of them are very sexy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I don't really have any opinion on it to be honest.
don't care enough. I'm just bored and finding everyone in my office quite irritating.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)

So you pay that with me?
Oh, well, that's why we're here, isn't that?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

;-)
indeed it is.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Glad to help

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)

This is a good comeback!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)

There's got to be a market for science porn
"Watch this busty beauty perform Lorentz transformations in a smoking hot non-inertial reference frame."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I would watch that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Me too
But only if they are trying to make a time machine. Time machines are cool and sexy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)

It's football, though.
I'm not that enthralled by it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)

oh come on it's a derby game so it will be lively.
Who is dragging you and do you know which team they support?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Flatmate, who is a massive Arsenal fan.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Your flatmate is a gentleman and a scholar and I salute him.
If he is a she. I love her.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

It's a he.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Is he ginger?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Nah, he's brunette.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Bob went out with a brunette a little while ago.
Put in a good word for him.

If he'll consider going ginger, then so much the better.

Regards,

JTDF
"Pimping out Internet strangers since 15.58pm"
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

*She*
Has a penis!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Your point being?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I want a lady not a tranny!
and it's his point being that concerns me!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)

**sings**
If you're a lady,
Or a manny,
Or a granny,
Or a tranny,


Join Bobby!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

This is just wrong
I will not have sex with a man with boobs.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I'll see what he says.
Probably a terrified scream.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

scream with delight.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)

You don't see people with brown hair any more, I can't work out why, I don't think I've seen one outside of telly/internet/magazines in ages.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:08, Reply)

hahahaha

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

So...
Is he sexy? And free?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

No, and yes
besides, he's my housemate, that shit would be awkward.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Well
You can always blame it on the football.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

But he's in no way attractive to me :/
He's a good looking boy, sometimes. But nooooo.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

^ this is worth knowing
Just so, every time your friend comments on their playing, you can ask him, as innocently as possible, "Which colour are they playing in?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I'd probably do that anyway

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

The other key questions are
"Who does he play for?" in response to him cursing the name of any particular player, and
"Is that offside then?" every time the whistle is blown for any sort of foul. Of course, as you say, you'll probably do this anyway.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I just don't give a fuck about football :D

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

blasphemer

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)

To be fair.
I don't know much either. But I blame that on the team I support.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)

But you have to look at him as if you were silly
and then laugh loudly at your own stupidity.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Oh, absolutely
And then look suprrised when he looks visibly fed up with having to explain the offside rule for the 40th time in as many minutes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

And call him rude
for not being patient enough. And make a drama until he accepts buying you a drink as a way to apologise.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Sounds like someone's done this before...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Are you looking at me?
How can you do that. You are SO rude. So, so rude. Look, look what you've done. You made me cry in the middle of the internet. Everybody can see me. Oh, you're so nasty. I feel like crying and shouting very loudly how bad and nasty you are. I'll start in a second, unless you buy me a drink.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Oh christ, stop, you're reminding me of an ex-girlfriend...
(Very effective tactic that one.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

The ex-girlfriend tactic?
Everytime a guy tells me that, I get blank and stop talking to him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Eh? No, I actually had a girlfriend who was like that once.
I meant the tactic of making a scene.
*sigh*
What would you like to drink?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Sorry to hear that
She must have been a pain in the ass.

Some nice beer, I'll let you choose. No stout or porter. And hoppy if possible.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Oh, it was a few years ago now.
(And yes, yes she was, in hindsight.)

Speaking of nice beers, I shall have to make plans with you and markthebrewer in time for next January as it sounds like we narrowly missed one another at the Manchester Beer Festival this year.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)

We'll be in South America for the next one
But we should organise meeting at another one. He's celebrating his stag in the one in Birmingham. I imagine you could go too...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

You going to the game Bob
Or are you watching it on the telly?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Telly next game I am going to is
Arsenal V West ham on the 30th of October then Arsenal v Newcastle on the 7th of November.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

This is one of the problems of being a season ticket holder for City.
I end up going to every home game, regardless of how shit it is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I envy you mate
When I can afford it I will live in London and go as much as possible. I only get to go a handful of times a season so it's a rarity for me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

There is nothing to envy at The Gate at the moment.
We don't play your brand of football either.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I still like live football and Rovers are gash.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Get yourself down The Gate then!
Thanks to City being shit, the team we play will look brilliant, so you'll be able to marvel at just how good they are as they score a hatful of goals against us.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Might do if they get Meatloaf or Bon Jovi back, not watching that shower of bastards play football!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Are you going with someone else
who doesn't like it much?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

No, I'm going with a massive fan
which of course makes it worse.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Cheer up, I'm sure you can get in a punch up.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I'm going to punch you in the face come a month.
/ac
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

you haven't threatened to punch me yet
what do I have to do besides insinuate you star in anal porn?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)

It's because I love you.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

She doesn't want you on your guard

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Lampito's answer above
was the right response.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

shutUP I don't want her to know
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)