FUCK YEAH, CHRISTMAS!!
I totally know what I want!!

What do YOU want??

Alt q: Is it really the thought that counts?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:42, 115 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Really? In September?

( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Never too early!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:04, Reply)

The shops around here agree with you
all the Christmas stuff is appearing. I thought it was getting bad when it started appearing immediately after Halloween FFS.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:05, Reply)

^ 'fraid I'm with Kroney on this one
Christmas stuff appearing in September just makes the whole thing reek of commercialism.

Having said that, I am in favour of considering christmas wish-lists this early, as it usually takes me about four or five months to think of something (sensible/reasonable) that I actually want. You'd have thought with a birthday in July, this would give me plenty of time to work out what I want for either occasion, but I always find myself saying, "Erm...I'll have to think about it."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:13, Reply)

the worst thing about early christmas sales
is when you work in retail. 3 months of that crap and people getting all arsey about presents, then christmas eve you put up the january sales sign, then one day off work and everyone is miserable again.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I usually want the boring stuff people think is too boring to buy
like socks/underwear/booze/book tokens/ties/aftershave
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

^ this
a couple of Christmasses ago most of my family shamefacedly proffered vouchers, saying 'I'm really sorry, but I had no idea what you wanted'. Best load of presents ever.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)

^^this
For Christmas 3 different people gave me Amazon vouchers and I was finally able to retire my Tesco Value Electric Shaver for a Phillips TripleHead UberGlide 9000RXi (or something like that) that is little short of miraculous by comparison.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 22:14, Reply)

I fucking hate christmas
I am the Grinch AICMFP. In your face Jeff
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

UR also me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Christmas is shit. Official. As is New Year.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Jesus, yes
How many New Years have ended up with some sort of shindig that starts too early, such that most people are pissed and being annoying by 11.30, before some gobby shite declares that we'll have to gather round the telly or we'll miss the countdown! OH NOES!!!!. Only for everyone to shamble into the living room and watch another complete non-starter of a ceremony on the BBC before it hits twelve o'clock and everyone in the room awkwardly goes
"Erm...yaaay..."
Before someone opens a cheap bottle of ASDA's finest own brand Cava ("We though we'd push the boat out, as it's New Year...") whilst everyone else is trying to link hands with every other drunken pranny in the room whilst somehow maintaining a grip on a glass of gum-rotting fizzy wine and bawl "AUUUULD LAAARRRRNG ZZZIIIIINE" in a jovial-sounding fashion through a thick haze of alcohol and palpable anticlimax.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Jools fucking Holland

( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:26, Reply)

AAARGH
Of course, see in the New Year with some "boogie whoogie" piano, why don't we? I suppose it's more upbeat than the normal funereal dirge everyone sings at one another, but at quarter to twelve on December 31st I want to punt the energetic little bellend into his piano and screw the lid down.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:28, Reply)

^this
so much this. Hate New Years. Christmas is alright, but New Years is just maudlin
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:28, Reply)

It really is shit isn't it?
Drunken bores, stupid traditions, forced participation in all sorts of things you'd usually run 5 miles from and normally 75% of the people in the room/pub/restaurant are people you would like to stab with a rusty blunt object.

Made worse for me as I'm always shattered from volunteering over Christmas. You'd think that would be a good enough excuse to get out of NY activities wouldn't you? Oh no. Every fucking year, "well it's only one night, you can sleep in on New Year's Day". No I want to sleep now you bunch of wankers. Leave me alone to have a few pints, a nice steak and an early night instead of tolerating your contrived unfunny evening.

Of course, I end up having to go along otherwise my gf refuses to have sex with me for a month. Meh.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:34, Reply)

I don't mind the whole routine of heading over to a house party
I've even quite happily co-hosted one for the last three years. But by the time it gets near midnight, everyone's pissed and/or falling asleep, and all the daft traditions get wheeled out like a fucking military operation for the dampest squib of an anticlimax you've seen all year.

Edit: "The Millennium" being a classic example. All that build up and for fucking what?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:37, Reply)

I like new year
I usually go to a fancy dress houseparty with a bunch of friends. One time we booked a whole youth hostel and spent a weekend setting off fireworks, hitting pinatas and playing board games. Was awesome.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:43, Reply)

how old were you? 14?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:46, Reply)

um, no
about 27

there was another year with a LAN party, and others with goodies and baddies theme. The important thing is to make sure you only invite cool people and use it as an excuse to arse around for an evening
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:47, Reply)

when I mean cool I mean people you like
..also, don't watch the bbc new year thing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:50, Reply)

as i'll be on the beach in jamaica
depends what time of day you ask me. pre-sampling the local produce:

any or all of the following - 1 carat diamond earrings, bobbi brown makeup, jo malone perfume, some dipytique candles, an extra 6 weeks holiday a year, an extra £50k a year, to be 10 years younger, a pair of r&r jeans, some louboutins and the new mulberry.

post-smoking the local produce:

whatever makes you happiest, man. whatever. you. want.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)

haha love the second option

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Love the 3rd
I got my mum some for her birthday, it's gorgeous.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

it's my favourite
i normally wear the lime/mandarin one, it's really fresh and clean. but i also treated myself to the new red roses one when i went to grenada.

only afterwards did i see the description: "perfect for a gentleman to buy the special lady in his life." gaaaah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

My mum wears the red roses, and sometimes the pomegranite.
I think I got her the nutmeg and something one, it was lovely. I like how you can layer them.

I need to get more Miss Dior Cherie, I've run out :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I'm running out of my favourite perfume
and it isn't made anymore so I'm reliant on random sources like ebay to get it.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:03, Reply)

What is it?
I have Chance (the green one) which reminds me a little of gin.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Sensi- Armani
delicious
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Ooh, I'll sniff you next time I see you :)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)

CPOTD

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I'm going to assume
that that is 'Creepy Post of the Day'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Yup.
I mean, if I were in your position, at least I'd know how to respond to a punch in the face. People don't normally sniff me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Not close enough to Christmas to know
but new clothes are always welcome.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Indeed they are
but never from my mother or grandmother, for the simple reason that I'll ask for something specific, and my mother will get me something else which is frightful and say 'Oh, but I thought you'd prefer it, I think it's lovely' and my grandmother will get me something middle aged from M&S and say 'Well, I tried to go in to that shop you wanted something from, but it was full of youths and I was worried they might try to pickpocket me'.
Or something equally as silly.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

This is a problem
however my mother generally knows what I wear/like now and asks before hand. One year I got three lord of the rings t-shirts though from different family members. Clothes fail (I was thirteen or so)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I have given up trying, to be honest
it never, ever ends well. I'd rather just ask for vouchers, ungrateful though that may seem. Or asking for very, very specific things like a new saxophone mouthpiece or an ice cream maker.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Nowadays I go
'oh I don't want anything.' And then they buy me something random or give me some money, and then buy a few small things as well.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I always try and get people
to use by amazon wish list. Books are always win if they are ones you wanted
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Good use of the word 'frightful'

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:04, Reply)

If only I could show you examples
you would wholeheartedly agree. And ask me to take them away again before your retinas spontaneously combust in self defence.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Trouble is, I now feel even more frightfully middle-aged than normal
As the last two or three pairs of jeans I bought were from M&S...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Some M&S stuff is okay
just generally not the stuff my gran picks out.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Well, nobody's commented on me being dressed like an old man at the Todmorden bash
(Although that might just be because all the attention was drawn to AA's 'Summer Wardrobe.')
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:29, Reply)

Uck!
did you have to say the 'c' word?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I don't care about Christmas yet
I've got a pile of presents on my dining table already :D

Alt: Yes. I've given some cheap/handmade presents- like bracelets, or a finger puppet made from an old lab coat- that were nicer than anything else. Maybe.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

How big are your fingers?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Probably medium size
Thinking of getting me a knuckleduster?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)

You said a labcoat finger puppet
Lab coats are pretty big.

These knuckledusters?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Better
www.play.com/Gadgets/Gadgets/4-/13953424/Knuckle-Duster-Mug/Product.html?_%24ja=tsid:11518|cc:|prd:13953424|cat:Home
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Oh my god BLING
no, I cut out a few squares.
You know that thing where knitting a jumper is deadly to a relationship? It seems when I make things for people, it seems to go the same way.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I didn't know the thing about knitting jumpers :(
does crocheting count too? I should probably be more careful
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:37, Reply)

Asking that to her
is a shortcut to getting punched in the face.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

No, asking what my dominant hand and what rings I wear is.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

you turning gay?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)

fingers arms
( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Turning?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

good point

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Scalextric, a case of Ardmore Centenary and an astronaut suit.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

You should get this
is.gd/flu3g
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

I LOVE not having sound at work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Oh c'mon... I haven't done that for ages.
Plus it was calming me down after fucking shitcunt buskers were mentioned.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)

As I say - it doesn't bother me at all. Tuck in.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

and a guatamalan tree frog
and a pony
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:24, Reply)

The heads of a certain bunch of estate agents who pissed me off quite thoroughly over the last two weeks
Alt Q: If it's a poo in the post, then yes, definitely.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I was going to send fishfingers in the post
to the woman who had an affair with my (then) husband. I'd send them without postage so by the time they got to her she'd have to pay and they'd smell really bad
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Well, I guess that's a little more subtle than your then-husband's severed penis...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:40, Reply)

i like to think laterally
so there is also an element of WTF with every vengeful act
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:49, Reply)

1. BigTrak
2. Yes - commerce is vulgar. As is conspicuous consumption - so 'new money'. Vile.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Here you go
cgi.ebay.co.uk/BRAND-NEW-BIG-TRAK-80s-RETRO-BIGTRAK-NEW-BOX-/190446956593?pt=UK_Toys_Creative_Educational_RL&hash=item2c5785f031
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)

I wonder how much it will actually sell for.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Probably not a lot
it's a repro
( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I have a feeling that, old or new, they are actually shit.
But when I was a boy they were THE ULTIMATE TOY and we never got one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Big meh on that one
I was into Transformers.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Young'un

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:58, Reply)

a new bass guitar in the 500 quid category would be spot on
Thx
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I like a little bit of luck
to enable me to move.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)

I want world peace and a trip to the moon
That website is full of craziness
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:31, Reply)

I don't normally ask for Christmas presents, but this year I want one of these:


That way I can sort fucking buskers out properly.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Oh yeah!
I dreamt that I met Roota and Monty last night. Monty - you look pretty crazy in that flouncy shirt, not sure what you were thinking with that. Roota - your hair looked nice dyed black.

Given I have no idea what either of you look like, this may or may not be useful information
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Hey! Nice to see you again!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:43, Reply)

yeah, we all had a great time at the
weird waterpark thing with the cable car
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:48, Reply)

I know!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:58, Reply)

but it was odd that both you and roota
had floating text in front of you to tell me who you were. Kinda helpful though so thanks for that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:00, Reply)

I bloody love Christmas
I don't want anything in particular just want it to be a good one. With lots of friends, lots of drugs, lots of little intimate gatherings and catching up.

Actually I would quite like a new cat.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:43, Reply)

...and a kite?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:44, Reply)

With proper string.
You don't want any of that non-conductive plastic stuff, after all.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:45, Reply)

Copper wire, shurely?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:52, Reply)

don't call me shirley

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:59, Reply)

that's an entirely different joke, altogether
*waits*
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:02, Reply)

Ignore him
he's tired and emotional
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:29, Reply)

You could be waiting a while

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:31, Reply)

You're not wrong.
I think, all things considered, I shall go down the pub ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:39, Reply)

Good plan
You coming to the Spice later?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:41, Reply)

you know I have several already.
I fly big stunt kite.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Why are you typing in 'Tarzan speak'?

Or are you 'Little Plum'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Sorry I was typing with one hand trying to light a doob

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:54, Reply)

I was little white dove in the house song at school once.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:58, Reply)

house song?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:59, Reply)

at boarding school you would have a competition every term where each house
would sing a song. Very gay and when we did Running Bear I had to play Little White Dove.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:02, Reply)

this sounds like a posh children's book from the 50s

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:03, Reply)

Except Enid Blyton
rarely wrote bumming scenes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Horribly a guy in the year above me got dragged into a car on the cross country run one year
and some guys tried to molest him.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:08, Reply)

How much of your school day
Was spent solving crime and drinking lashings of GINGER* beer?

*That explains so much about you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:27, Reply)

I got expelled at 15
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 19:44, Reply)

You are CatBinLady
AICMFP

What pub are you going to this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:49, Reply)

Not going to my mate bens now
for massive drugs and football. We will lose I will be stroppy .
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:53, Reply)

So are you staying in or going to the pub?
stroppy Strap-on.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:55, Reply)

staying in
for strap on action
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 17:58, Reply)

I want a hairless cat, but I think my dog would eat it.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:04, Reply)

THEY ARE EVIL

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:05, Reply)

only some dogs are evil

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 18:18, Reply)

BEER!
www.mybrewerytap.com/52-week-beer-club.html

I've already told a bunch of people :)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 20:13, Reply)

this looks so good I may sign up right now.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 20:30, Reply)

I NO RITE?!
I mostly drink wine but I do love a good ale.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 20:37, Reply)