I've had the best day of my life today.
I'm now so pissed I can barely see.

Huzzah.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:09, 101 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tsk, can't even hold your drink against a 2-year old!
All went well then Montague? The kids got on all right?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:13, Reply)

It was fucking excellent.
The Kids Were Alright.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=afam2nIae4o&ob=av2e
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Fantastic
Congratulations chief, I know you've crawled through a lot of shite to get to this day.

You are Andy Dufresne AICMFP.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:29, Reply)

ndy Dufresne lbert Fish
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Today I was listening to the zombies and thought as I like them you probably hate them. Then I cried. But not long as I was driving to see gonz which cheered me up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

'Odessy (sic) and Oracle'
is one of the finest British psychedelic LPs of all time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

badger and monty in agreement shocker

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

It's a one off,
don't worry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:42, Reply)

Oh just when I thought we had something going monts you crush it down dead
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:44, Reply)

I COMMISSIONED SOME ART FOR YOU,
you schweinhund.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:50, Reply)

i need to remember to put that on my profile

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:01, Reply)

I'll take that as
'thank you so much, my dear friend'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

I LOVE YOU MONTY

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)

*does Egyptian-style dance*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:15, Reply)

N A
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:15, Reply)

*buys fishing rod*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

hello gorgeous
how was your daughter?

glad someone is pissed. me, i'm at work, so i'm just pissed OFF!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:18, Reply)

Hello pumpkin
We had a teddy bears' picnic, went to the park and had simply the best time ever. My daughter and I goose-stepped down the street and I accidentally said 'like the Nazis, Leni', to which she said 'Look Daddy, I'm a Nazi', and I was terrified that was going to be the first thing she said to her mother, but luckily not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

it sounds
As if she might be a tiny chip off the montyblock that one!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

I never told her mother
that the diminutive of Eleni was Leni, like Leni Riefenstahl.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leni_Riefenstahl

My own (and my brother's) private little joke.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:32, Reply)

i hope she never
Ever finds this website!!

Glad you had such a nice day I had my niece's fourth birthday party with a horrendous hangover so I admire your entertaining skills
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:42, Reply)

If my ex finds out who I am on here
I will be castrated with rusty cheese wire.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:44, Reply)

thats useful blackmail info
Thanks!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:47, Reply)

that
Would be a great tragedy for womankind.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:49, Reply)

agedy for wo iumph fo hu
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

anoonymity
is your friend then. Mind you most of us are much less anonymous these days, bloody facebook!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:56, Reply)

I was unaware
that being an antisocial shit had any benefits whatsoever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

It has loads
I go out of my way to avoid talking to anyone ever and look how ace I am.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:03, Reply)

it means
You can keep on posting with blissful equanamity and freedom of speech
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:06, Reply)

with blissful equanamity and freedom of speech

hateful bile, derisory comments on people's taste in music, calling Bowie a cunt and paeans to your love of a nice meaty sausage.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:14, Reply)

i just got home from work
To find "cocktail" is on. Best of all the films. Hoorah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

It's shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

There we go!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

yeah
But in a great way. Although the book is really really dark, all about drugs and suicide, not a rom or a com in sight. Literally only the title is the same and yet the author also wrote the screenplay. Odd.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Have you ever read 'Wonderland Avenue'
by Danny Sugerman?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

no
Tell me why I should - because I want to know why you recommend it - and I will!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

If you want a dark book about drugs,
it's all you need. When I read it I nearly had a a day off
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:28, Reply)

interesting
it will be mine
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)

It
is a mixture of fascinating and appalling in equal measures. The author was Iggy Pop's manager at one point. His anecdotes are horrific and magnificent...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

i am now searching for it on amazon
it's a funny thing the addictive personality. i can have a couple of g's of some really shit-hot stuff and not even remember it's in the flat for weeks at a time. yet one piece of chocolate in the fridge can keep me awake for hours debating over whether to eat it or not!

edit - horrific and magnificent is a good sig...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:41, Reply)

I like drugs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

My life
would be a great deal cheaper if we shared this attitude.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:44, Reply)

You heard that art Department record?
It is magnificent.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:46, Reply)

I've not.
Which is why, young Plum-master, you are going to link to it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrtqXg8dAMA

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

I'm old.
I prefer the old classics:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8wokfoyHf4
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:00, Reply)

I'm no spring chicken either.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:02, Reply)

*is disapproved of by Hugh Fearnley-Whitttingstall*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:04, Reply)

well
ok maybe not weeks and weeks. but certainly a few days!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

*gets a cab round*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

it isworth the trip
he has excelled himself this time.

but i do also have galaxy "cookie crumble" if you prefer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:56, Reply)

*doesn't prefer*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:01, Reply)

no
it doesn't give the evening quite the same edge, i have to admit you have a point.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:07, Reply)

You've got your nipper goose-stepping at the age of only two?
*doffs cap*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 22:32, Reply)

I seem to be raving away at my computer
and am on webcam to the other people raving away. I like this idea but the music's a bit tiresome (started off bangin', has become rather dull). Got the link off Broadsword ("I like breasts") off b3ta.

www.housefreaks.co.uk/chatroom.html
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Try this then:
garagepunk.ning.com/

Pick the 'GaragePunk surfcast #21.

The sound of my childhood.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

Awesome
I'm on it, I like a bit of 60s garage, assuming that's what it is
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:15, Reply)

It's actually
a site of pictures of people's garages. And punks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

Ah...
this is badass
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:17, Reply)

I love you Ro-land.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

yeah
this is awesome. it's rare to find such consistent awesomeness on the internet. I might be listening to this a lot. Cheers dude! Shove one behind the ears for me.
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:44, Reply)

My father
used to play this stuff to me when I was a little boy.

I'm probably the only man on earth who associates Dick Dale & The Deltones with freezing Scottish beaches...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

Man, my computer speakers have just had to be moved back forwards 15 inches
I was hooked on surf rock aged 15 due to Mark Radcliffe on R1. He got Dick Dale in for a session once. Classic under-the-bed-covers action. I still have an old "Man or astroman" album on CD bought after listening to Radcliffe (before he became really boring on R2 - is that what old age does to you???) - real classic amped-up postmodern Fuck-you surf rock from the mid-90s.

Right I'm going to see if they're on spotify. Unless a decent cover of "Gloria"comes on on your station, fucking awesome as it is. I need sleep soon and I WILL have Man or astroman.
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

I saw Dick Dale last year.
My jaded mind was blown.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

Two birds with one stone
Your channel is now playing Man or Astroman. Musically, I'm jizzing all over the place, it's a veritable jizz fest. Jizzy Big Stuff reporting for duty
(Mr Big Stuff, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Bukkake music?

( girlinthehole, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:28, Reply)

fuck yeah

(Mr Big Stuff, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:46, Reply)

Fucking hell it's superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:39, Reply)

Still playing your link
fuck me if this isn't oh fuck me if this isn't OH FUCK ME yes, it's rather good, I had no idea old rock n roll was THIS good; granted it always had a place in my heart.
(Mr Big Stuff, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:13, Reply)

Did you just leave there?
I had no idea I was on webcam, they've all pointed out I need some sleep which is very true.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

hahahahahah
was that you? you looked totally scoobied.

I left 'cos the music got shit and no-one else was doing anything interesting on webcam apart from me, and then they just insulted my appearance as "omg is he really doing that" humour. Ibiza-house hippies.. grrrr...
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:19, Reply)

should have bared my arse

(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:21, Reply)

You have one of the best sigs ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

Awesome, thankyou
It came to me in a red wine-induced fit of lunacy
(Mr Big Stuff, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

Indeed t'was I.
I've been out for three days, that's my excuse.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:21, Reply)

'out', eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

*minces off*

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:36, Reply)

I've had a lovely evening too.
The band at the pub was ace. All punk and ska tunes. I'm a happy bunny.
( girlinthehole, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:34, Reply)

hey sexy lady!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

Hello your royal awesomeness!
I cannot wait to see all of you. There was a man at the pub with a mohawk but it was nowhere near as awesome as labs.
( girlinthehole, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

only four weeks to go woo and yay

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

y g
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:05, Reply)

Admit it.
You can't wait to see me in the flesh.
( girlinthehole, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:06, Reply)

i am not sure
if he meant gay or gag.

both are inappropriate for you!! mind you, i did yell "benders" very loudly in front of STEPHEN FRY last night. i was genuinely talking about "eastenders" though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:10, Reply)

*admits*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:11, Reply)

You'll be disappointed.
But I'll try to lessen the blow by wearing my awesome coat.
( girlinthehole, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:15, Reply)

I WANT TO LICK YOUR FLESH

(Mr Big Stuff, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:27, Reply)

Erm.......do you?
That's nice.
( girlinthehole, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:34, Reply)

YES

(Mr Big Stuff, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:53, Reply)

I AM NICE MAN

(Mr Big Stuff, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:53, Reply)

I certainly can't.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:41, Reply)

hello!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:41, Reply)

Good evening Ms Swipe
All good in the hood?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:43, Reply)

aye!
can't complain so i won't. how is being 20??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:46, Reply)

Seeing as the last few days have been spent in a state of headache and kidney problems
Not too bad at all. I just can't work out how to turn the fucking heating on, it's cold in the house.
I feel like an old woman already :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:48, Reply)

nice thick
fluffy blanket cures all!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:01, Reply)

and codrydamol.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 1:02, Reply)

Arsenal lost, I lost at poker, Monty is in a good mood.
What a thoroughly crap Saturday.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 0:30, Reply)

AHAHAHAHA!
Sorry, I've been waiting for you to turn up.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 7:41, Reply)

they were rubbish
are you a baggies fan?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Yes I am
Much more exciting than wondering whether you're going to finish 3rd or 4th every season, we get to wonder what division we'll be in.

Although this time it looks like we stand a good chance of sticking!

*sings 23rd Psalm while waving arms aloft*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)