That was different.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:56, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

you're just showing off in front of your friends now
it's not big and it's not clever.

well, ok. it's quite big.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

is that his septum or his ego?
Morning Rach. How's university?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

silly bob
i was referring to his cock.

if i have to explain all my jokes.....

university is grand but back to work tonight, that'll be a shocker, had about 400 emails a day. about shite!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

The boy's retarded, it's like talking to a shoe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

i am stealing this
for my workshop this afternoon.

might have to be a bit more PC than "retarded" though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

That means
you *owe* me now...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

what sort of payment in kind do you want?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

*switches to gaz to protect the innocence of younger boarders*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

there are no young boarders

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

There fucking are. I've met them.
Extras from 'Skins', they are.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Like you haven't spent several evenings off your tits on god knows what having in depth conversations with your sneakers about the SS.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Have you bugged my flat?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Soon to be my flat.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Dear Rachel Swipe,

I am a Nigerian General who has several million pounds to invest. Could you as a pretty kind white women please help me to save this money from evil pirates.

Those emails don't count.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

if only
instead my emails require me actually to get off my arse and Work.

ugh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Bouncing up and down on a cock isn't work.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

then
you've obviously never done it.

or never done it right.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Oh, he's done it alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

he's on the Internet
clearly he has never actually had sex.

this is why his fingering technique is akin to james herriott trying to birth a calf. and why he mistakes screams of agony for pleasure.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Another one for the workshop there, I believe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

no can do
it's a fiction workshop.

can't use FACTS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Haha poor Mrs Al
Bludgeoned internally every night by her ham-fisted fatty of a husband.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

now now monty, lousy fingering technique is not a joking matter
it should never ever be approached like a 5 year old scrubbing out a mistake in a maths book. and when the girl grabs your arm-turned-torture instrument and drags it back out of the depths of her internal organs and says "darling, that's so nice but please do it like this"

she means "FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP TRYING TO STAB ME TO DEATH VIA MY VAGINA, I HAVE TOTALLY LOST ALL INTEREST IN SEX UNTIL IT HEALS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

she does not mean "that's amazing keep going you'll find my spleen up there any second now."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

It's Al who needs to know this, not me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

It's not
it's just really close.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I think we should kiss and make up now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

i am thinking about it
i might sulk for a bit longer yet.

except that my break is nearly over so i don't have long to pout at you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

You look so beautiful when you're cross.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

and what about the rest of the time, eh?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Perhaps even more so.
I'm so awestruck by your flawless perfection at this moment, I simply cannot think beyond the here and now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

that's better
consider yourself kissed and made up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

beautiful sexy
cross crying and bleeding.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

this is monty
not [insert name of choice, there's so many of them]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)