Raoul Moat - the stage play
Looks like I have missed the opportunity to see this:

www.eastlondonlines.co.uk/2010/09/artist-apologises-for-raoul-moat-play-at-deptford-x/

What have you missed recently?

EDIT: Oops - sorry Broadsword
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:18, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

PC Rathband, who survived being blasted in the face said he and his family would not be going to see the show.

Because he is was blinded?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

There's nothing to say if Gazza went to see it or not

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

That could be a Broadway hit
"Raol Moat, Superstar!"
"Shot a copper in his motor car"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

For the scene where he finds out his girlfriend has cheated on him:
Everyones gonna pay! (Pay Pay Pay)
Everyones gonna pay! (Pay Pay Pay)
The queers and the straights and the whites and the spades!
EVERYONES GONNA PAY!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

lololol

( broadsword, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I love a bit of Moaty, me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

oat iser
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

While we're doing news links
inappropriate picture alert
www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/11430299
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I do like that story
torrent users deserve to be outed really
( broadsword, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I like that story for the totally opposite reason.
ACS: law are not very nice, and have threatened too many people with legal action. I believe this is a bit of pay back for them.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

The head made the stupid mistake
Of goading Anonymous.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Yep that's another hilarious part of the story.
"anonymous are pathetic, they managed to take the site down for 2 hours big whoop I'm more bothered by my train being late"
*few hours later*
350mb of unencrypted Emails released online, including a months worth of his personal emails where he calls his ex wife a whore.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

It was beautiful
And ACS:Law will be hauled over the coals for it. SkyBB have already pulled their dealings with them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Everyone they sent a letter to saying "give us £500 for BREAKING THE LAW"
can now send them a letter back saying exactly the same thing.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Meh, most of the people threatened probably have downloaded Surrey Anal Granny Fist Fuckers 12 anyway
Torrents went shit after oink was busted many years ago
( broadsword, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I also like the
"and there's no way my boyfriend did it because he was in bed too!"

yeah. Because if he knows how to torrent there's not a chance in the world he knows how to set up a delayed start. Honest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I like that the picture makes her look naked.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

well, yeah.
but I'm more or less immune to naked ladies on the internet now. Saturation limits and that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

How can you prove you didn't do it?
I was in bed watching a legally bought porno
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)

It's up to them to prove your guilt.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'm not 100%
But I think that all the 'proof' they need is the IP tracing. I believe a dangerous precedent was set by some Judges who don't fully understand this Internet fad.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Yeah, it's a bit of a woolly legal area
but made harder by the fact that it is apparently very easy to clone an ip or make it appear as if you are downloading from a different ip to that which you are.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

It's not difficult
But you have to put a bit of effort in, which the average user won't do. You could use proxies, but the vast majority of folk don't bother.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I know the average user won't
but the point is that if someone uses a fake ip, it will look like someone innocent is downloading anal fisting 6, when they actually haven't.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

True
What niggles me is that ACS:Law weren't working for the porn distributors, as far as I'm aware, but were using IP Tracking companys and working with ISPs in order to blackmail money out of people.
They picked porn movies, because no one wants to go to court for downloading "Chubby Chasers" porn films.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Absolutely
They are just cunts. They are just extorting money.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I like the term "woolly legal area"
The Outlawing of Tank Tops Act 1980 (repealed 1997)

The Late Payment Of Commercial Debt (Cardigans) Act 1998 - Giving you the legal right to claim cardigans from anyone who doesn't pay you on time.
(Cave Duck, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

what is torrent
is it something to do with posting your own illegally purloined smut for other people to download for free?

christ half the men in the uk would be going down.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

It's a way of breaking up a big file
up into smaller pieces so you can download from hundreds of places at once and put it back together to make a copy of the other file.
Used to download any big file which online means videos/music/games mostly illegal.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

but...
how would you know where to find the hundreds of places? or is there a particular website that links them all?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

You download the "torrent" file which and then a program such as mutorrent or similar
links to anyone else running a torrent sharing programme who has that file available and downloads bits of it from them.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

al watches porn
al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn al watches porn
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Al watches horse porn.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

So I explain the same thing as Chompy and I get abuse and he gets an admission of your own stupidity?
WTF?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Yep, that's pretty much how it works.
Roll with it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Shut up and watch your horse porn, Al.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

maybe i think
he isn't worth abusing and you are? did you think of that, al, did you?

edit - and do as monty tells you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

There is only so much horse porn you can watch before you really want a biscuit
and I'm running out of biscuits.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

biscuit sugar lump
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

why
are they all soggy?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

The torrent file basically points to everyone else who's using that torrent.
So what happens is you open a torrent file with a program like utorrent.
Then you find everyone else who's trying to download the same file. You start downloading some of the little pieces, from one of those people. Then when you've got at least one whole part of the file you can then upload that piece to someone else who needs it. The smart part is you can download and upload at the same time, and you can download from people even if they've only got some of the pieces.
In reality that all happens behind the scenes and you just click and watch a progress bar.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

god
it's not often i feel truly thick.

well done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

The torrent pixies fly bits of the file to your house
each one giving you a gentle kiss as they arrive

not as nice as it sounds, some of them have got really bad breath
( broadsword, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Hows the hangover?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

How's the random stranger next to her too?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Fine thanks!
*sparks up cigarette*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

hey
you know how i feel about smoking. and you promised, you promised!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I'm in charge here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Punch her tits Monty!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

*puts 'em up*
EDIT that sounds revolting, sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

funny...
that's not at all what you said last night... or again first thing this morning...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

That was different.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

you're just showing off in front of your friends now
it's not big and it's not clever.

well, ok. it's quite big.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

is that his septum or his ego?
Morning Rach. How's university?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

silly bob
i was referring to his cock.

if i have to explain all my jokes.....

university is grand but back to work tonight, that'll be a shocker, had about 400 emails a day. about shite!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

The boy's retarded, it's like talking to a shoe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

i am stealing this
for my workshop this afternoon.

might have to be a bit more PC than "retarded" though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

That means
you *owe* me now...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

what sort of payment in kind do you want?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

*switches to gaz to protect the innocence of younger boarders*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

there are no young boarders

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

There fucking are. I've met them.
Extras from 'Skins', they are.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Like you haven't spent several evenings off your tits on god knows what having in depth conversations with your sneakers about the SS.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Have you bugged my flat?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Soon to be my flat.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Dear Rachel Swipe,

I am a Nigerian General who has several million pounds to invest. Could you as a pretty kind white women please help me to save this money from evil pirates.

Those emails don't count.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

if only
instead my emails require me actually to get off my arse and Work.

ugh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Bouncing up and down on a cock isn't work.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

then
you've obviously never done it.

or never done it right.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Oh, he's done it alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

he's on the Internet
clearly he has never actually had sex.

this is why his fingering technique is akin to james herriott trying to birth a calf. and why he mistakes screams of agony for pleasure.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Another one for the workshop there, I believe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

no can do
it's a fiction workshop.

can't use FACTS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Haha poor Mrs Al
Bludgeoned internally every night by her ham-fisted fatty of a husband.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

now now monty, lousy fingering technique is not a joking matter
it should never ever be approached like a 5 year old scrubbing out a mistake in a maths book. and when the girl grabs your arm-turned-torture instrument and drags it back out of the depths of her internal organs and says "darling, that's so nice but please do it like this"

she means "FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP TRYING TO STAB ME TO DEATH VIA MY VAGINA, I HAVE TOTALLY LOST ALL INTEREST IN SEX UNTIL IT HEALS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

she does not mean "that's amazing keep going you'll find my spleen up there any second now."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

It's Al who needs to know this, not me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:46, Reply)

It's not
it's just really close.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I think we should kiss and make up now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

i am thinking about it
i might sulk for a bit longer yet.

except that my break is nearly over so i don't have long to pout at you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

You look so beautiful when you're cross.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

and what about the rest of the time, eh?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Perhaps even more so.
I'm so awestruck by your flawless perfection at this moment, I simply cannot think beyond the here and now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

that's better
consider yourself kissed and made up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

beautiful sexy
cross crying and bleeding.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

this is monty
not [insert name of choice, there's so many of them]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

stop judging me by your standards
i have been in lectures since about 8am.

fucking fucking painful lectures. i feel like 137 different kinds of shit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

If she's so innocent
Why does it look like she hasn't got a top on, eh? EH?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Because Radio 1 listeners can't read an article
unless they imagine one of the people in it is naked.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

That made those Ian Huntley reports uncomfortable reading for some.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

All the good threads.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

If you're looking for quality you're in the wrong place.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

What can I find here then?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

a raddled shower of perverts who can give you greatly detailed
explanations on how to find free porn. see above for details.

edit: and below, clearly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Can't say I'm a fan of porn to be honest.
Did read it though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)

that's because you're a girl
a real one
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

True story.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Bah I know girls who like porn
More tend to prefer erotic literature though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I like lesbian porn, but straight isn't for me.
Erotic literature just gives me the giggles.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Erotic literature is tainted for me
Since reading Top Gear slash fiction. It was so awesome, nothing could ever compare.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)

AWOOGA.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

How could I forget?!
I shall fall on my sword immediately.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

most of my friends, me included
will happily watch it with a bf if he wants to, but would never dream of doing it by themselves. it's just not sexy by yourself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I tried watching porn with a past girlfriend
but she felt sorry for the donkey and thought the midgets were being exploited.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

i'm sorry
it's because i'm vegetarian
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:28, Reply)

XXX HOT ACCOUNTANCY ACTION XXX
XXX BARELY LEGAL QUALIFIED!!! XXX
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Incest.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I feel sorry for Derek Bird
Moat is a big thunder-stealer.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I know what you mean
but Moaty got Gazza AND Ray Mears on board so I say 'fair enough, like, Moaty man'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Oh don't get me wrong
I don't deny Moaty's superior style. But Bird had a wonderful trip from personal vendetta to random shootings. I just feel that he doesn't get any of the credit he deserves.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

He was rather sidelined unfairly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 12:21, Reply)