For those not interested in the self-help love-in
What would your ideal job be? I keep thinking I would have preferred to train as a doctor rather than an engineer.

Alt: What did you get in trouble for at school?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:30, 100 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'd quite like to work in a library or a museum.
I keep checking the British Museum and Library vacancy lists to get experience. Must get organised.

Alt: Talking in the lessons, tlaking too much to the teacher and not letting anyone speak, or not doing homework. Then I went lolmental and the teachers never said anything- not even when I got out of my seat and laid under the table.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:33, Reply)

A museum would be proper interesting
Or a gallery. I think I'd just get bored in a library, and make massive domino rallies from the books.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:36, Reply)

I really like libraries.
I find them very calming. Shame I don't read so much anymore.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:39, Reply)

They are nice and calm, no arguing with that
Apart from in my uni's library near deadlines. I think it would just be dull to work in one. Dull or annoying.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:42, Reply)

I remember ranting on here about scientists sitting on my mezzanine level.
The Maughan is an amazing building, and it's right next to a 'Spoons.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:44, Reply)

We never bothered going and working in the library
As we had our own studio, and our own fancy computer lab. Also, our building was closer to greggs, subway and the pub than the library.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:45, Reply)

Over revision period I'd sit in there until about 2 in the morning (it opened 24 hours for about a month in preparation)
the cabin fever that develops is almost entertaining. You go to the cafe to get some water and everyone looks like zombies.

I have my favourite rooms, including the Secret Law Room and the rooms no one can ever find.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:47, Reply)

Our building had a security office
So was open all the time, and you could get in with a special card. With yet another special swipe card, we could then get into our special computer suite. We watched many people have breakdowns in that room.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:54, Reply)

Me too
And empty churches.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:03, Reply)

I think I have the job I wanted since I set up the company - just wish I could pay myself what I used to earn and still invest in growing it.
I went to 9 different schools & was expelled from 3. Various reasons but they all stem from being fairly bright, getting bored easily and mis-behaving as a result. I left school with one GCSE and have no other qualifications - but I don't think this has held me back. I do tire of the intellectual snobbery of some when they find out I didn't go to university though.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:35, Reply)

You didn't go to university?
Tsk tsk.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:35, Reply)

I stopped going to school regularly from the age of 15.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:36, Reply)

My ideal job is the one I'm doing
*eats croissant* I'd like to do a PhD though, but even if I don't I still love the job, there's just no career progression.
I was only in trouble once at school, for doing my R.E. homework in maths class.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:37, Reply)

And what might it be that you do that is so perfect?
That's pretty shocking behaviour that is. Also, I can't recall ever having RE homework.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:38, Reply)

I'm a research scientist
in cancer genetics. Sounds more important than it is; I'm the dogsbody. Still love it though.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:40, Reply)

Still sounds pretty cool
Actually doing something to make a difference and all that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:42, Reply)

serious question - do you create tumours in petri dishes?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:44, Reply)

No
I grow cells, some of which are 'immortalised' (eg, cancer cells) but I don't grow tumours and I don't use petri dishes.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Pay for my 30 a day Marlboro Light habit for long enough & I will probably develop a tumour for you.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:52, Reply)

I think my local kebab house may be world leaders in this field.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Never trust meat you can shave.

(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:01, Reply)

I know a cop who once stopped a car here
Got them to open the boot, and found an unwrapped length of kebab meat rolling about on the carpet.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:02, Reply)

*notes*
"gillette with your chili sauce, boss?"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:06, Reply)

I'd like to be a real honest to God author
but I don't really see that in my future anytime soon

alt I got caught smoking
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:42, Reply)

Not to crush your aspirations
But I imagine the first steps of being an author involve being repeatedly turned down by publishers and made to feel generally awful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:44, Reply)

There are self-publishing companies though; minimum quantity to print in hardback is only 100 books and you can then sell them yourself on Amazon.
Looking at doing it to boost the profile of the company.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:45, Reply)

I know. But, before I can do any of that I'd like to at least have proper training and I cannot afford school.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:50, Reply)

Damn expensive schooling
Lucky to be Scottish, blah, blah, blah.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:00, Reply)

haha

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Theatre Actor, or Butcher

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:45, Reply)

Well, I can see how the 2 are connected
Any chance of becoming a thesp at any point?

Also, how's things? You and flam have a good holiday?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Ha, I would love to, I seriously would, but I can't help but think I may have missed the boat.
The butcher thing was due to a dream I had a few nights ago where I was a butcher and I was happy, so that'll prolly pass.

Otherwise, all is well, and Honeymoon was grand. Any luck on the job front?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:50, Reply)

What a dream
Yep, got 2 months of work coming up for a company, possibly leading to a full time post at the end. Win.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Bloody good luck with that then, matey!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Cheers!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Alt Q:
Holding (to this day, I understand) the record for the most red cards in one season of InterSchool Rugby. And also for punching Andrew Frame in Geography.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:53, Reply)

Our rugby team nearly succeeded in making the minibus fall over once
One of many reasons I was not on the rugby team. This also makes you sound like a thug.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:58, Reply)

Maybe I should clarify:
It was 3 in one season, and mainly because I was so awfully shit at Rugby that just about every tackle I made was high or illegal. I was never violent.

Apart from that Geography lesson, and to be fair he punched me first. And it was only a punch on the arm.

I am a rubbish thug.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:02, Reply)

We had someone climb on a table in a maths class
And start punching someone in the face for apparently being gay. Now that's a thug.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:04, Reply)

Wow. Anger issues, eh?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:05, Reply)

Bet he had a gay dad that abandoned him
OR he was properly mental, and threatened me with a penknife once.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:07, Reply)

There was a lad in my form who once spent a whole registration smashing pencils on his forehead.
A good lad though, even if he didn't have a single screw fully tightened.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:10, Reply)

This same guy once decided to wiggle the power cable into a CPU about because 'it didn't seem to be working properly'
We all saw a flash and some bright blue sparks, and him going very white. It was brilliant justice.

Your guys sounds unbalanced, but mostly harmless.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:14, Reply)

I got into a lot of trouble for not understanding things first time and having the gall to ask for an explanation.
Also for getting plastered on a school trip along with six or seven others.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:49, Reply)

An explanation? How dare you
Imagine asking to be taught or told how to do something in a place of learning.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:50, Reply)

Apparently, "it just is" is a perfectly good explanation and my continued failure to understand was just insolence.
No wonder the exam results were always such shite.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:53, Reply)

What a good reflection on your school
Getting plastered sounds like a reasonable outcome.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Unrelated note:
The wife is watching Dracula. Keanu Reeves is fucking awful. He is an abomination.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:55, Reply)

There's a definite year-to-decency ratio involving his films
Alternatively, they're mostly just shit. Say hi to the wife.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:59, Reply)

So far it's being saved by Gary Oldman.
She waves hi back!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:04, Reply)

A decent save
Not spoken to her in ages. Hope she's still as happy and sugar obsessed as ever.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:06, Reply)

She very much is. Toblerone at present...

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:08, Reply)

I do hope you're also benefiting from this particular trait

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:10, Reply)

Damn straight!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:17, Reply)

I love that film
it's ludicrously over the top.

Is it on telly btw?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:07, Reply)

Nope, Doovd.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:08, Reply)

I have absolutely no idea
Just starting the 3rd year (of 4) of a physics degree, and have no idea what I'm doing after it. Trying to learn a load of stuff on the side (programming, some web design, doing a few other projects too (like the PhysSoc vs EngSoc trebuchet competition), which while not relevant, should at least be a good talking point in an interview when they ask me about practical skills). Possibly thinking something computery*, or possibly engineering (though I don't want to do anything specific, so would try for a consultancy so that I can do a lot of different things (my dad used to be MD of one, so I've had work experience there in secondary school, but I'm determined to try and do things on my own if possible)).

*I have friends doing just about every aspect of game design in one form or another, which while it would be great if it worked, probably wouldn't.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:04, Reply)

If you want to go into industry, QC technician jobs can be a good place to start.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:07, Reply)

I've put in an application for a general placement
(IASTE, at this stage, it will be some placement, in a vaguely science/engineering related career, somewhere in the world) next summer, will see where that leads (and may call in a small favour from my dad on that, since they "consider your application more favourably" if you can organise a place somewhere in the UK that they can send someone).

QC could be a good place to start, I have some work experience I could pass off as relevant (worked in a company making fuel cell components, testing how the properties of one of their materials changed under certain conditions, QC won't be too dissimilar, just the emphasis will be different (checking against expected values, vs finding out what happens with no prior knowledge))
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Plus you can get a good general view of how things work, which could be very handy in the future.
Another thing, be prepared to work shifts rather than 9-5 if you end up working somewhere that's got a high turnover.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Shifts are no problem
I tend to keep odd hours anyway, so can wake up whenever, and sleep when needed (or, in the case of this week, through lectures due to forgetting my alarm >.< )
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

The best trebuchet would be
Based on a Da Vinci catapult, with the arm modified with a trebuchet firing mech.

Yes, I realise how sad this post is.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:09, Reply)

It's not sad at all from where I'm standing.
Ancient weaponry is fucking GRATE. I'm a mangonel fan, myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

The mangonel is fairly cool
But I prefer the aesthetics of the Da Vinci.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Poofter, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

What's the point in destruction
If you can't do it while looking fabulous?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:25, Reply)

I think one of the conditions will be that it has to be weight driven
rather than spring driven (assuming we are talking about the same da vinci catapult ( www.hucbald.ramst.ca/articles/leonardo_catapult.html ), so that would be out.
I've built one before (very roughly, but got a good 20m out of a 50kg counterweight on a worryingly bent axle (firing water ballons (at dave))) so could probably do fairly well on a standard design with a bit of fine tuning, and actually managing to cut things straight (the only reason the previous one fired straight was that all the wonky bits cancelled each other out just right that the axle was the only level bit on there (though, as said, it was rather bent when under load).
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:20, Reply)

Yeah, roughly the same design I was talking about
My flatmate used to want to build a floating arm trebuchet, which is a bit different from what most people do.
I built a traditional one from lego once, and fired marbles about 10 metres using a counterweight full of AA batteries.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:25, Reply)

My brother's aristocratic college friend
made one and used it to fire old pianos across the lawn of his parents' country pile. I have seen photos.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Well, that fairly trumps my lego one
Some day if I live in the countryside, I'll get round to making one to fire pumpkins and the such. What could possibly go wrong with that?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:34, Reply)

Keith Richards' drug tester.
Or despotic dictator. Either is fine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:18, Reply)

I get the feeling that the second
Could encompass certain parts of the first.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

I can multi-task, I reckon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)

Alt: nothing at all.
I was utterly fucking bored at school. They put me up a year and sent me on an 'able pupil enrichment scheme' ('A.P.E.S.' - way to go, school, no bullying opportunities there, eh?) but to no avail. I would just sit there staring out the window waiting for it to be 'home time'. I barely said two words the whole time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:27, Reply)

Haha, Monty used to be an ape!
Stupid school. Good to see you've come out of your shell a bit since then...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

The whole experience
helped to make me the supercilious twat I am today. Pretty much everything I know I have learnt myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:32, Reply)

I'd like to be an internet troll and get paid by the tears of whinging fatties.
ho ho ho
j/k
got a little too excited by my first ignoring
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

You enjoy your moment out of the spotlight
I know someone threatened to ignore me, but I'm not sure if they actually did. Sad times.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:34, Reply)

*ignores*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:36, Reply)

Aww, how could you ignore me?
I'm too, erm, er, oh shit...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:38, Reply)

oh burn
that must be worse than actually being ignored
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:38, Reply)

During the course of today
my boxer shorts have effectively disintegrated, to the point that I have discovered I am now wearing what is to all intents and purposes a kilt under my jeans.

Just thought I'd share.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:36, Reply)

I hope I speak for all of us
When I say that that sounds horrific. Also, MY POOR BRAIN.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:37, Reply)

horrific sexy
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:38, Reply)

God, how old were they?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:40, Reply)

Please see previous thread for my calculations

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Wooooooooooo 100

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:31, Reply)

Diagnosis: you have corrosive bollock-sweat.
Prescription: flaming rusty cheesewire.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:40, Reply)

I totally felt the shit out of her knee dude!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:42, Reply)

Go Bobby!
It's ya birthday!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:43, Reply)

Nope, it's her birthday
*role reversal five*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:45, Reply)

One of the best gigs I've been too ruined by a tosser.
Half way through the second half of Mr Noble when he has been a good roll for about twenty minutes he starts telling a story about his old man's wheelchair when he says that he died two months ago, cue some twat in the crowd to shout 'good' Ross Noble then rightly has a bit of a pop and all of a sudden it's not fun to be there. To be fair he still finished the show but you could tell he was furious. It was quite strange.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:40, Reply)

at first I read tosser as lobster and I thought oh boy this is going to be an AWESOME FUCKING STORY

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:42, Reply)

Sorry to dissapoint.
It was horrid, you could see how distressed he was onstage and he properly came out of character and had a huge go at this bellend. But alternatively a huge lobster bit his cock off.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:44, Reply)

Talking too much

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:02, Reply)

A problem you seem to have overcome here

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:11, Reply)

Really?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:12, Reply)

Yes
How're you?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:14, Reply)

I'm good dude
Had a run-on with a creep today, but thanks to my rantings I've discovered that I'm not the only one so I actually feel safer.
I'm not special!

You?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:18, Reply)

"I'm not special, I'm safe"
I'm not bad. Waiting to get last details sorted for this job, and best friend is headed down from uni for the weekend. Mostly grand-o.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 0:22, Reply)