ARMY WEDDING
i may have mentioned this before, just once? like kitty and her job interview, i am having the aforementioned sociallyacceptable-v-slutty clothing dilemma, see here:

the choices are either pretty but modest silver dress with a black net overlay that comes to just below mid-calf and is only slightly low-cut, with a short sleeved shimmery black bolero length cardigan.

OR a red top with fluted sleeves and sparkles on it, a short black skirt, those sheer black stockings with a seam down the back, and knee high patent leather boots. i have my new red coat, which is quite long, to wear in the church so god won't smite me down.

which should it be, BGB?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:33, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The second option
Seamed stockings ftw!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Or
Wear the second under the first, and do a Superman half-way through the night!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:39, Reply)

INTERESTING
why did i not think of this?

i am slipping.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I'm sorry Ms Blouse is too busy being famous to reply in person at the moment.
But has asked me to say - Silver & Black sounds classy.
(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:36, Reply)

but now you've both said different things
and cancel each other out.

argh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Go with the former.
Upstaging the bride is traditionally seen as somewhat off, no?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:38, Reply)

the fact that you and berk
both think i would be capable of upstaging the bride is very sweet but wildly inaccurate!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:39, Reply)

You should also stop and consider that Labia Majora is a lewd young rapscallion who is working entirely to his own agenda here.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

lewd young rapscallion
this is a phrase that should be in more frequent employment
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:41, Reply)

It's a fair cop guv

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:44, Reply)

i think you should explain yourself
what agenda?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

the agenda to make more women wear seamed stockings

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

really?
depends on the legs though. saw a girl on the tube this morning, her legs looked like two overstuffed sausages, and the tights were clearly so tight that the seam was all crooked. AND they were flesh-coloured.

what does your agenda make of that, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Well, we abide by Universally Applicable Rule #45
No fat chicks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:51, Reply)

she wasn't really fat
she just had enormous legs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:53, Reply)

fat legs = fat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:54, Reply)

oh no
not at all, i have a colleague who is really slim on top, but has legs like tree trunks. it's weird. if she wears a long skirt, she looks like a whippet. if she wears a short skirt... well, she shouldn't.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I am also a proponent of this agenda

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:49, Reply)

see above

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I would say the first number
sounds more classy and more appropriate for a wedding, but the second outfit does sound rather hot. Personally I'd go for the first one - it's not nice to pull focus from the bride, after all.
(berk, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Stop copying me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Your reply was posted after mine!

(berk, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Copying someone before they've posted, eh? That's clever berk, you're clearly an evil genius.

(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)

With an evil lair
on top of a mountain?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:44, Reply)

A man mountain.

( girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

it all falls into place....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:49, Reply)

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I was just making it clearer for the ones that aren't aware of this joke.

( girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:54, Reply)

'something about spunk and dry cleaning'

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:39, Reply)

dry cleaning does not remove spunk.
machine washing does not remove spunk.

hand scrubbing with bitter painful tears of regret and "what the fuck was i thinking" does not remove spunk.

only throwing the item in the bin removes spunk. sad but true.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)

The voice of experience
but surely,. even in the bin, the spunk remains
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:46, Reply)

yeah but then
i don't have to see it or look at it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:49, Reply)

"Moment of sadness, moments of guilt
Stains on the memory, stains on the quilt"

There's an Ian Dury line for every occasion.
(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)

*nods sagely*
I still haven't seen that film.
( girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:48, Reply)

It's certainly worth seeing with a good performance by Andy Serkis. My girlfriend considered it overlong, but she's not a fan.
There's a play about him called "Hit Me" touring now. Which I managed to miss when it was on locally
(Cave Duck, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 11:07, Reply)

"moment" is probably an exaggeration
what's half a moment?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:49, Reply)

A mom.

( girlinthehole, Fri 5 Nov 2010, 10:51, Reply)