This is the bit that makes me feel inferior
I can't cook.

I suppose I probably could if I put my mind to it, but I always get it wrong.

I live on packaged meals from Sainsbury's. I vary them, and I've probably got a better diet than many, but it'd be nice to say I could just bung some stuff in a pan and make it edible.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:43, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

the trick is to wrap chicken in bacon

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Mr Sainsbury does that for me.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:46, Reply)

here is the thing right,
what you do is get a bit of chicken, then wrap it in bacon, then cook it.
that is the trick that mr sainsbury doesn't tell you so that he can sell you chicken pre-wrapped in bacon!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:48, Reply)

But he does it SO WELL!
If I did it there'd be staples and cat hair in it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:51, Reply)

oh dear maybe it is best you leave this to people without cat hair in their fingernails

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:56, Reply)

House full of cats, dogs and me
Fur happens.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:59, Reply)

not if you are one of those damned vegetarians
unless you are anorexic
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:47, Reply)

the thing about vegetarians is that i don't cook for them

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:49, Reply)

oh
oh well. that's me done then...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:51, Reply)

done what?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:53, Reply)

christ, how long have you got?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:54, Reply)

i am doing nothing for the rest of the day.
start the list.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:55, Reply)

caught in my own trap
erm... everything except children, animals and the occasional corpse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:56, Reply)

i would have thought that a ciorpse would always be a corpse,
i did not realise that you could have occasional corpses.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:57, Reply)

well
clearly you are just not trying hard enough
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:58, Reply)

i am very trying

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:00, Reply)

well don't be
and just tell me what sort of shit you cook when you are cheffing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:01, Reply)

pub food like innit.
loads of steaks and that.
and sunday dinners, on a sunday. actually we do have veggie options so maybe you'd be alright.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:04, Reply)

veggie sunday roast sounds ok
although no shitty gravy please.

hmm. maybe it's not all true, what they say about you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:09, Reply)

unless they are all saying incredibly nice things
then it is definitely not true.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:18, Reply)

this is b3ta
what do you think they say about you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:27, Reply)

i am very well regarded in all the important circles!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:37, Reply)

ah, which circles be those then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:40, Reply)

all the important ones!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:44, Reply)

ok let's keep this quick and dirty
name the top 3 b3tans whom you reckon would put you in that magic circle.

then we can truly see if you are one of the kool kidz or not.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:59, Reply)

gonzo, grandma of shoes
and down on the farm
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 22:03, Reply)

as you have cunningly not named anyone i know
i will have to let you win this round.

but watch your back in the next one.

*shifty eyes*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 22:05, Reply)

i named some of the most famous b3tans around!
i refuse to be judged by someone who hasn't even heard of old gonz.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 22:08, Reply)

oh whoops
i didn't see gonzo in there, attention to detail clearly lacking.

of course i know gonz. yes ok, that ups your creds slightly!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 22:10, Reply)

nowt wrong with begin a veggo is there?
I hardly eat meat. I was fully vegetarian two years ago.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:52, Reply)

there is nothing tastier than meat

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:53, Reply)

It's what makes us us
eating meat provided our ancestors with more energy and less time spent getting it, which allowed us to develop BRAINS.

Therefore vegetarians are stupid. Science is fun!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:57, Reply)

see, i have no problem with the principle of eating meat
lawyers have no principles.

but the taste and texture of it - Wrong, WRONG, W R O N G
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:58, Reply)

that's basically exactly why I went veggo in the first place.
didn't like the taste or texture. I'll eat it now, but I'm a bit fussy as to how it's cooked.
I still don't eat much pork or seafood though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:00, Reply)

well no, i mean, we don't need to eat meat any more really,
it is just that it is tasty
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:58, Reply)

I do know that
I just like to screech and throw my poop at the vegetarians.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:59, Reply)

there is no need to be mean on the internet!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:21, Reply)

It's not like there's any shortage, true...

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 21:32, Reply)

i am one!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Nov 2010, 20:54, Reply)