A long, relaxing bath.
Until fairly recently I had to take showers all of the time, which had unfortunate connotations for me due to the repeated flashbacks I suffered as a result of being the plaything of Big Eric when I was inside.

Fortunately my arsehole has just about recovered and no longer resembles the open end of a tube of giant smarties. Which means I can finally take a bath without the fear of taking on excess water and drowning.

Also, photography.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:22, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Self portraits?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:23, Reply)

in the nude?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:24, Reply)

A gentleman never tells.
Fortunately, I am not a gentleman and can therefore proudly claim that my cock has been seen by more women on the internet than blokes have been up Jordan's mimsy.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:25, Reply)

You are not the real Craig as Craig would have used the medical term Vagina.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:31, Reply)

I'm trying to fit in with the kids.
I think it's working.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Craig!
I've got a poorly hand.

Can you fuck it up good and proper for me please?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:32, Reply)

I think I could manage that.
It's been a while, mind.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:34, Reply)

Well you don't have to fuck it up completely if you think the skills are lacking.
Maybe you could leave me with a dull pulsing pain, rather than complete disfigurement.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:38, Reply)

Well I'm not too sure Craig
Because when you gazzed me the other night - calling yourself Melchett and inviting my intimate response - you overlooked the fact that I'm an overweight 42 year old bloke.

Either that or you're nick-bent.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:34, Reply)

My time inside
has left me with a somewhat skewed perception on matters of the heart, it has to be said.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Let me tell you
That if you tried it on with me you'd have other skewed bits to worry about.

And when you end up in Chokey again, Big Eric will NOT appreciate a micropenis clumsily stitched back on like something from Bagpuss's shop.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:39, Reply)

I missed the whole Melchett thing the other day.
What happened? Apart from Roota sniffing him out?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:42, Reply)

Did he really gaz The Dissapointed?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:45, Reply)

Wasn't me.
Honest.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:46, Reply)

Yes he really did.
Silly git.

I'm not here a lot, and my profile didn't say that I was male, but I got a come-on from Melchett.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)

do you still have the gaz?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:51, Reply)

Regrettably not
It was last Thursday and if you dig back you'll find the thread but I became rather open about an episode from my past.

Our man Melchett steamrollered in, offering an episode from his own life and volunteering a shoulder to cry on.

And I was pretty much ratarsed but as soon as I read the gaz I thought - it's Edmund.

So I did the decent thing and let Roota know.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 20:02, Reply)

Was it on O/T?
I haven't been around much recently.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 20:04, Reply)

Yes
I started the thread and I don't want to put a link in because a few people made some very emotive comments in it and I don't want to traduce their open-ness for comedy value.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 20:18, Reply)

*facepalms*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA
That's fucking funny.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 19:56, Reply)