It's pretentious for a start and just looks and reads horribly.
Your CV should be in this layout
Name
Personal Details
Contact Details

Current Job
Last 3 jobs/ or relevant jobs. Any other jobs from a long time ago can be put in bullet points or left off altogether

Qualifications

If you really have to , a bit about yourself.

Every job you put on should have your reason for leaving
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:30, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I don't put reasons for leaving jobs
and I have about 22 (not that I put all of them on). Is that a bad thing?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:31, Reply)

Depends on your age, type of job, reason for leaving. But 22 sounds like a lot.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:31, Reply)

it's a fuck load
I'm 34
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:33, Reply)

The university careers service advised that a CV should be at least two pages long and include a "skills profile".
I've often struggled to fill just one page with relevant information. How is another whole page of waffle going to help?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:47, Reply)

some people put pictures on them
this makes me cringe.

my friend found her boss' cv. the stupid woman had a picture of chicken nuggets for every bullet point. why? for the love of god, why?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Some folk (I am reliably told) attach their photos too, even if they're not needed.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 23:16, Reply)

The personal statement is also favoured by some.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:49, Reply)

It doesn't get read ever
Just like the about me bit
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 22:51, Reply)

My C.V just says
'I'm JeffTheDogFucker, give me a job or your Spaniel will be deflowered'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 23:10, Reply)

Funny, I went to a professional recruitment advisor
about a month ago.

He looked over my CV and pretty much told me exactly the opposite of the tips here (except the third person thing)
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 17:17, Reply)