as i am stuck waiting for a tube on bastard strike day
I'll tell you how sam and i nearly ruined my friend's wedding on sat.

So a few weeks ago i met a personal trainer in a bar. Hot but turned out to be married and dumb as a box of rocks. The latter has been proven by the fact that he keeps emailing me suggestive filth despite being totally ignored by me. Even if had been tempted before, the shockingly spelled messages full of u r and lulz would have put me off. Anyway on fri night i had enough and replied, telling him tersely to piss off, i did know what i was missing and i was fine with that. Turns out i didn't.

Sat afternoon. Wedding. Bar. We're all hammered before the ceremony and my phone beeps with a new emailk nmessage. The guy has only gone and emailed me a pic of his cock, with a note about exactly what i am missing. This is gross in itself, but - i don't think he could have appreciated that my iphone was going to pick it up quite so clearly. It was... Diseased, is the only word for it. I was so shocked that i dropped the phone before i caught something from the pic, and of course within about two seconds it was being passed around all my friends. They all screamed and i deleted it and then it was time to go in. But my friend sam hadn't said anything, and i could tell her brain was hatching something. Sure enough she picked the exact second the string quartet paused to break into the wedding march to hiss a v good question: "but WHY would anyone email you a pic of their herpes-infested dick?"

We all dissolved into hysterics and couldn't stop when the bride swept in, which was awful of usd. Esp when she came up to us afterwards and said "you guys all saw me trip on ther way in didn't you, i hoped noone had noticed."

Oh dear. Mind you, my friend's husband asked me where the guy had got the pic from - now that's innocent!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:28, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hahaha
Poor you, you only get the best men, don't you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)

i actually think this one might be a bit unhinged, that's not nornal!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)

It isn't normal, no
I think you should go for a muslim style partner finding and let some of your friends and/or family to choose for you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

there could be something in this
I was chatting to one of the groon's gorgeous mates on sat, haven't seen him in a while. He said i looked amazing which was lovely if drunk, but then went and added, "i'd never have recognised you," is this a compliment or an insult?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I think it's a compliment
but I always think well of people. Do you like him?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

oh he'd never be into me, he's movie star hot, seriously
And a banker. And lives in new york!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

When will you learn
that a fellow's job is completely irrelevant?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

it is to me
I've dated lawyers, students, pen-pushers, a teacher, an actor (read unemployed)... I just meant bankers tend to have v v hot girlfriends?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Some days I'd settle for a fairly clean tramp.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Kaol's taken

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I don't know
I've never met you, maybe you're movie star hot too... If he's nice a and caring, we can overlook the fact that he's a banker.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

i am
Think kathy bates in "misery"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Peter notices everything.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

*high fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)

On behalf of all men, everywhere, I would like to say sorry.
Again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)

It's only because of guys like you that we still keep trying.
Us ladies are nothing if not tenacious.
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

*flattered enormously*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

ah well
Half of bucks mocked his cock on sat, that's punishment enough!!!

Feel sorry for his wife though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Blimey, what is it with some people?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)