My father's a conservative sort of man ...
I wonder what advice he’d give me on this particularly modern situation.

[end appropriate preamble, begin real reason for post – thinly veiled vainglorious gloating]

I was approached by an ex-girlfriend yesterday, who has gone sapphic and fallen in love with another woman. They are to wed, and carry one another's embryos. But first they need a goodly spray of sperm from an able-bodied gentleman – which apparently is where I 'cum' in (boom boom).

Capital.

Of course, this has huge potential for misinterpretation. I'll probably crash into their house expecting a fanny bingo spunkathon, wearing nothing but a demented grin, with a cock like Kitchener's finger and a video camera slung over my shoulder, only to find them sat modestly in the living room clutching a petrie dish and a long-necked pipette.

"And that, children, is how I met your mother ..."
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 15:46, 15 replies)

Dad's advice
If you wind up impregnating the both of them in the way you're hoping for, what's to stop them both claiming child support from you?

I hope that has put a sufficient damper on your plans.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 15:49, closed)

*click*
For "cock like Kitchener's finger"
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 15:49, closed)

You have the potential
to create a pair of the angriest of Angry Pirates.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 15:55, closed)

Child support
As mentioned, should be of concern.
Since the system exists not to apportion responsibility but to provide for a child, even a strict agreement that you are solely the donor would not limit your liability.
(Edktstsss, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:02, closed)

That is a very very
very very very bad idea. There's about 100 ways it could all go wrong and fuck-up your life.

You'd be better off convincing them you know sombody more suitable...then sell an introduction to them on Ebay, or here!
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:57, closed)

Blimey
I hadn't even thought about the whole progeny side of it. Couldn't really get my mind past the "have sex with two lesbians" aspect.
If any of you are old, I may post your comments back on the main threat as examples of sound advice.
I thank you.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 17:16, closed)

Almost right...
Except it'll probably be a turkey baster rather than a pipette (a pregnant acquaintance had a rather fantastic 'baster baby' t shirt).

Run far far far far away. You do not want child support complications..
(EssY, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 17:45, closed)

You appear to be thinking solely with your cock.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 23 Jun 2008, 22:01, closed)

run far, run fast.
trust me, that's one train-wreck you want no part of.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 23:34, closed)

Simple...
Get them to sign an agreement saying you're not liable for child support.

As one of my teachers from a while back once said "A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on."
(Harleif Skankhammer II was killing time at, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 0:17, closed)

I doubt that contract would be valid
Unconscionable bargain or similar. Legally you're responsible for its upkeep. If she pursues you for maintenance, no court will hold up that contract.

Just dont do it. Imagine paying for something the rest of your life you never even got a ride for? Then there's the whole, "Look at my beautiful child" rubbish you hear first time parents banging on about - that shit wears off fast.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 8:53, closed)

This
. Is fucking sick......

"They are to wed, and carry one another's embryos. "

And I'm not even sure if it's medically possible. I'll ask the Mrs when she gets in.

So these oxygen thieves want to carry each others embryos. So that'll mean they'll have, technically, two mums? One whose genes they'll carry and one who gives birth to them.

Sick.

There is a thing called too much fucking around with mother nature.

Oh - and you'll be landed with child support for both of them. The CSA will be after you like a dog after a rabbit.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 10:30, closed)

OK, read this
www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,22876565-5005962,00.html
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 11:04, closed)

*click*
For "fanny bingo spunkathon"
(theweapon never ever bloody anything ever, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:24, closed)

(Blink)
ah, Legless, is your favourite bridge out of order ?

Or was it those nasty billygoats again ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 17:46, closed)