1. People
who claim to know the editor of The Times when complaining. I find the best responses to be "So do I, isn't he a cunt?" or "Are you in the same chapter of the BNP as him then, cuntybollocks?

I'll just do one instead of loads of smaller ones

2.Sex addiction. It is not a disease, YOU JUST ENJOY SEX. It's perfectly natural a lot of us do. The problem is that religious right wing types (especially in the US) feel that it is wrong because of the belief system into which they were indoctrinated/socialised and try to make every body else feel guilty for enjoying it. If you don't agree with something don't do it, but stop trying to force your beliefs on the rest of us.

3. The over-diagnosis of stress and depression. Before anyone screams at me, I understand that these are very serious conditions and can have terrible effects on people's lives, but that doesn't mean that every lazy cunt in the office should get a few months off in the summer. Feeling a bit down every now and then isn't depression it's just fucking life cocknose.

4. Boris Johnson. How could anyone even think about letting that cunt be in charge of anything? I wouldn't trust the fucker to piss on his own let alone run fucking London.

5. The Labour Party - get back to looking after the interests of the working man. Nye Bevan is spinning in his fucking grave. Brown you are a class A tory cunt. Abolish the 10p rate of income tax my fucking japseye. It's all well and good saying there will be something to replace it, but a Labour govt shouldn't have even contemplated it in the first place.

6. Alistair Darling - either dye your hair or your eyebrows man. You look like a nobbing zebra.

7. Irresponsible lending. Stop throwing free credit at people who can't afford it.

8. The use of the phrase "state sponsored terror" by the US. Only one country has ever been found guilty of state terrorism ever. That was the US of A when it organised a terror campaign against the people of Nicaragua in the 1980s. It was found guilty in the International Court of Justice but then refused to acknowledge the Courts jurisdiction, and followed this up by Vetoing a UN Security Council resolution asking them to comply with the ruling and pay reparations to the nation of Nicaragua.

9. Middle lane Marys - those cunts on the motorway that sit in the middle lane doing between 50 and 70 MPH

10. UKIP - UK independence? For fuck sake do you have any idea that the world is a completely different place now than it was in 1883? On our own we would be more fucked than a porn star in a twenty cock special. All we have is a security council veto, fuck all else.
How do you expect to combat the negative effects of globalisation without the assistance of an overarching regional network of intelligence, markets and regulatory systems?

11. Marches. I don't mean stop this or that or gay pride but sectarian marches. During my time in Glasgow I noted a wee bit of antagonism between certain religious sections of the community. It was suggested that this was to do with schools of a certain faith, as the kids were separated then they were seen as the "other" people from the "other" school. I now live back down south and we have schools of a certain faith here too but without the stabbings, sectarian violence, rabid bigotry etc - What we don't have is sectarian marches each year, harping back to problems in Northern Ireland (NOT FUCKING SCOTLAND)and re-opening old wounds and divides every twatting summer.

I am an angry man, but I do not have issues. People who use the word issues instead of problems are cunts. If it's a fucking problem say its a fucking problem, you twat.

I feel so much better after that.

By the way don't go to see psychotherapists as they will charge you through the fucking nose for sitting there pretending to listen and regurgitating some platitudes from a fucking fortune cookie.

Venting your anger here is much cheaper

Alternatively I would recommend punching that Lembit Opik cunt in his fucked up wobbly face.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 2 May 2008, 20:31, 7 replies)

Sorry
its so long I just couldn't stop
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 2 May 2008, 20:31, closed)

No no
carry on dear boy. Love it. Especially point 4. I'm no longer going to tell people I live in London, I'm reverting to Hertfordshire.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 May 2008, 20:58, closed)

you have issues!
AND you have problems!

and i'm a cunt!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 2 May 2008, 21:22, closed)

Marvelous
The kind of rant I would like to write ...if only I hadn't had a sub-standard comprehensive education.
( bane, Fri 2 May 2008, 21:33, closed)

You have opened my eyes
To the Zebra-Darling.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Sat 3 May 2008, 0:06, closed)

I saw Alistair Darling in Tesco yesterday...
...in Edinburgh. He bought milk and something else, I couldn't see in his basket.

Bad clothes I noticed.
(Zutroy started without you, Mon 5 May 2008, 17:19, closed)

Well blow me!
If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that I wrote that! Take a large click.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 May 2008, 9:23, closed)