You can't sit there...
We'd all headed off to the pub after attending the first aikido club grading after my son was born so he was snuggled up in his pram and parked up by the table in the crowded pub. Trying to order a few drinks and food I was told,

" the family area is over there"
"Is it? Ok. (Plus the food order etc.)"
"You need to move over there..."
"Why?"
"Because that's the family area"
"But we are sitting here with all our friends (which was about 30 people from the club, including MANY black belts up to 5th Dan)."
"Yes, but families go over there..."

"Ok, well, you can argue it out with the whole aikido club as to why we can't sit with them (my son was fast asleep in the small pram tucked up against the table plus people were having a look at him as they'd not met him before), plus wake him up by dragging the pram out from the table and over to where you want him to be, and can explain to a screaming three month old baby why he's now awake, or it's one coke, one bitter shandy, a chicken salad and a burger with chips for this table...."

"Err. Ok."
(Mr Joe Bangles, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 15:08, 30 replies)

Christ that sounds like a depressing existence.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 16:27, closed)

So your story is that you used your alleged martial arts skills (AND all your martial arts 'mates') to intimidate bar staff?
Where had you parked your Honda Accord?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 29 Mar 2014, 17:25, closed)

30 people and five of them are called Dan?
It's quite a good system to give them numbers so their food and drink orders didn't get mixed up
( Ghoti Fingers, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 17:42, closed)

They should all wear different coloured belts.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 29 Mar 2014, 19:06, closed)

People who make a big deal about doing martial arts are invariably the ones who are shit at it.
Just saying, like.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 19:53, closed)

Do you often include explanatory asides for the benefit of an unseen audience in your conversations?

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 21:31, closed)

I think you mean Quigong you massive vagina headed cunt. Because Quigong is what nonces do. And you're a nonce.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 0:05, closed)

you're a fucking knob and so are your paedophilic child grooming aikido mates

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 10:15, closed)

Most people demand special treatment because they've accompanied by either a baby or 30 wannabe ninjas.
You chose both. Well done, you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 12:22, closed)

I remember when you could go to a pub without babies and children screeming and running around being mental
it was ace
( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 12:56, closed)

Family areas aren't there for your benefit. They're there so that the rest of us don't have to put up with your bastard fucking child.

Everyone hates kids in pubs, unless it's a harvester.
( cs1ca, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 13:34, closed)

My kids think pubs are great,
until they remember that they're not allowed to drink in them.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:19, closed)

Haha, oh man, I bet he was shitting himself, was he shitting himself? I'd have shat myself.
Chronic gastro problems, you see, bars generally have really bad toilets.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 18:13, closed)