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This is a question What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

Groovypoodle writes, "My mate once told his girlfriend that he didn't think it was working only for her to laugh and tell him he was hilarious. Saying she was 'too weird' and 'slightly violent' and that he didn't like her was equally hilarious. Ripping off her wing mirror, throwing it through the windscreen
and storming off in a huff merely generated an apology from her a week later..."

Just how hard have you had to work to get someone to take the hint and stay dumped?

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33)
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That's when it SHOULD have been over...
... if she had any sense.

A while ago now, I was on-again-off-again involved with my trainee, a pretty gorgeous girl and all round glorious and special individual whom I was lucky to have in my life at all.

Unfortunately I have a terrible snoring disorder. So we were lying on the bed one night and I was half asleep. She was pretty much dressed as it was about 4am and she was trying to be bothered to get up and go home. Suddenly I felt the goodness brewing and I let rip with the most god almighty fart known to man. This did not amuse her. The smell was fantastic and, best of all, it was such an outstanding fart that I had woken myself up. Always a good sign.

Shaking my head and looking around the room for praise, I jumped off the bed and sauntered into the bathroom. I was still snoozy and rested my head against the toilet roll for a quick drowse. Nice.

But after a while I realised that noise from the bedroom was still occurring. Peeling open my eyes, I realised that she was still running around the room. With. Next. To. No. Consideration. For. My. Head. A leopard with curry up its ass couldn't have moved that quickly. She was getting dressed. The stupid bitch had thrown the duvet on to the floor. It was all over. And I don't just mean all over the floor.

Or was it? She was still there. Eventually, as the noise from the bedroom increased in crescendo, she turned the light on. And just stood there, staring at the bed, looking at it. Jesus. Had she been facing the other way, the annoying bitch would have been staring at ME!

She turned the light off, ran out, jumped in her car and fled home. I was happy that the bed was all mine again and, leaving the toilet unflushed and my arse unwiped, strolled happily back into bed, jumped back on it, stretched out, rolled luxuriously all over the sheets and....

what??


No apologies for length, she fucking loved it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:10, 15 replies)
I like it
Excellent take on a classic, unbeatable tale.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:12, closed)
Oh dear god
You have my sympathies. What did it take to eventually leave him?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:13, closed)
At this rate...
... all the "best" stories in your profile are gonna be of the same event - albeit with the occasional shift in narrative perspective...
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:13, closed)
started off reading this
thinking "hello, rswipe in some girl-on-girl action"

still a good one, even if mildly disappointing in a get-your-cheap-thrills kind of way ;-)

*click*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:14, closed)
*pfffft*
I've always wondered what the bedshitter had to say about that... and that's as close as it's likely to get ;) *click*
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:14, closed)
*grins*
he sounds more and more attractive every time!
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:15, closed)
*click*
"Shaking my head and looking round the room for praise". Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:17, closed)
Please
.
Don't define your (b3ta) life as a one-trick pony.

You're better than that and you know and you it.

Cheers
(I helped save b3ta! Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)
Haha
Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:29, closed)
you got me
I didn't notice the username until waaaay too late.

Good one.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:33, closed)
This is a tale I never tire of hearing.
In whatever form it takes.

Only because I can relate to being with a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 14:41, closed)
Superb work Swipussss
Have a click
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 15:24, closed)
Haha
That didn't click until I got to the bottom (so to speak).
(I helped save b3ta! le brian, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 16:22, closed)
*clickety click*
I thought it sounded familiar...
this will be a tale that goes down in B3ta history as an absolute classic
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 22:00, closed)
^
I thought it already had.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 7 Jun 2008, 2:55, closed)

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