What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?Groovypoodle writes, "My mate once told his girlfriend that he didn't think it was working only for her to laugh and tell him he was hilarious. Saying she was 'too weird' and 'slightly violent' and that he didn't like her was equally hilarious. Ripping off her wing mirror, throwing it through the windscreen
and storming off in a huff merely generated an apology from her a week later..."
Just how hard have you had to work to get someone to take the hint and stay dumped?
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chthonic, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33)
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"Let's be friends"It just doesn't work like that. Trust me.
If you can take a relationship from 'passionate lovers' to 'matey matey mates', you are a better person than I am.
Ergo, the best way to break up is just that; break up. Avoid contact. If you take a year or so out, you might even end up as friends somewhere down the line.
But you can't go from coupledom to friendship. It doesn't work that way.
*awaits a flaming*
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 0:12, 20 replies)
Has tried thatand failed. Agrees with Floyd
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 0:18,
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In my experieceyes, you do need some time apart between dating and friendship to make it work. But I have heard of others who were able to go from one to the other.....maybe they didn't have much passion or anger to get past?
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flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 0:26,
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Not much experience in that matter but...I have to agree with you too. Some say they've done it, and I believe them, but for the majority I can't imagine it being an easy thing to do immediately.
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vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 1:44,
closed)
It was hard for a few monthsbut I've managed it. My recent partner declared to me in a very careful way that she had been suffering a number of internal conflicts for quite some time. I had been aware of her problems in the past and had overlooked them, allowing them to address them in her own time, unfortunately it was never meant to be that way and she has declared herself to be a lesbian.
I'm strangely comfortable with it, and we plan to go on the pull together at the next available opportunity. :)
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Muns, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 2:19,
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never quite works.works the other way around too, if theres someone you fancy but end up in the terrible situation of being mates with them. just cut off all ties for a while, you'll get over them and if you were actually suposed to be friends you still will be,
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 2:26, closed)
how silly.I'm still great friends with my drug-addled bullying shitheel of an ex.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 2:54, closed)
Ahh but Apeloverage,you are a unique individual.
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flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 4:31,
closed)
YOU can't. It takes a while, but it can be done without drama.
Of course, the fact that my ex is now the size of Jabba the Hutt does help enormously (do you see what I did there?).
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 5:59, closed)
I canso ner!
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 8:47, closed)
I agreeit doesn't work, I broke up with the ex 7 months ago, we agreed to be friends, we still 'see' each other regularly which isn't healthy as neither of us are moving on with our lives and meeting other people.
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Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 9:46,
closed)
Agreed...Although, the distance was kind of forced upon me as she'd fucked off to Australia with my best friend.
But things work out - he turned in to a prick and they both ended up single - HA.
(NB - she's now back in the UK with a guy who's great and we are friends again... But like you say, it takes time. In this case, 4 years and an engagement on my side to let it go!)
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 10:25,
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Verytrue. Time wounds all heals.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 10:53, closed)
MatesI've managed to stay mates with my ex-fiance. We do have a child together tho and after it ended we both made an extra effort to be mates with each other. It was just too important to be both in the junior penguin's life and not ripping each other's throats out at the same time.
There's been hard times but we've managed it and we still get on really well.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 11:17, closed)
Gives funny lookYes it does, it works well.
Perhaps I've just never done anything utterly bastardsome to anyone, or reacted like a venomous drama queen when someone does something evil to me.
I'm friends with all my exes. (check) Yep, every one. In a couple of cases very good chums indeed.
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DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08,
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I'm with you Duke and PenguinI couldn't love someone I didn't like, and although "love" sometimes goes awry, "like" mostly doesn't.
My significant ex and I are good friends, he's good friends with my current beau and I look forward to meeting his when they've cemented their relationship.
If a break-up is acrimonious, then obviously space is required. But a lot of relationships just peter out of the romantic love and become friendships naturally.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:20, closed)
^This.
My lovely-ex is one of my closest friends.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 15:52,
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i agreeand it usually takes a while for my exes to calm down or not want to kill me before an cordial arrangements can resume. tsk.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 15:53, closed)
You can do itHowever, only if they truly want it too, and both of you can stand some awkward moments..
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 16:47, closed)
you can remain friendswell, you can, up until the moment when either one of you pulls someone else.
Then all hells breaks loose
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Pootle, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 19:20,
closed)
Can be done.I'm friends with an ex. He's ace. I went to his wedding, he came to mine. We've been exes for far longer than the relationship lasted, and to me he's just a mate, albeit, a good one.
We see eachother about every three months or so, and my hubby is quite happy to pick me up from some insalubrious drinking hole, pissed as a fart, as he knows I'll have had a good time.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:17, closed)
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