Okay so
this one time I was holidaying in the Algarve in Portugal and there was this family, with the surname McCann, who had three kids.

Now one night the parents fucked off to dinner with their friends without considering the potential dangers in leaving their kids totally unsupervised in an unlocked apartment and someone obviously took advantage of this by abducting the youngest eldest child, who's name was Madeline.

A worldwide hunt and media campaign was launched and managed to make headline news every day for the next few months until finally people got a bit bored and started to wonder if actually the parents had done it themselves, especially after they were made suspects by the Portuguese authorities.

However, after they sued the arse off a couple of newspapers all the other journalists realised they couldn't possibly have had anything to do with it. So that was okay then.

She's still missing mind.

And this other time, there were all these nasty smugglers and traders hanging out in Chalmun's Cantina, which is a fictional bar set in the port of Mos Eisley on the planet Tatooine.

And this old guy and a young guy and two robots came into the bar and asked this smuggler for a lift and he was pretty okay about it, but then someone who the smuggler owed money too came in and started some trouble so the smuggler shot him, and the old guy had this awesome light sword, kind of smaller than a sword though, more the size of a sabre, and anyway, the younger guy got started on and the old guy cut the troublemakers arm off. And one of the robots had a pretty camp voice.

And then there was this other time when I was at school, or something, and all these really attractive girls were hanging around in their tight white shirts, which strained over their heaving breasts as they breathed heavily and pouted at me. They slowly ran their hands up their fishnet stockinged legs, gently lifting their skirts to reveal that they weren't wearing any underwear.

Their moist sex seemed to swell before my very eyes as I leaned forward and probed their opening with my tongue, tasting their sweet juices as it ran down my chin.

One by one they took it in turns to take my engorged rod in their mouths, their tongues flicking over the glans until I erupted hot streams of jizz over their faces.

And then there was this other time when I had a picture of a cat that looked like it was doing something that cats can't actually do in real life so I wrote a caption on it in bad english using photoshop and posted it on the internet.

And then this other time I wrote stories on this message board which had a weekly theme, and sometimes my stories were jokes about child abduction and sometimes they were cleverly disguised film plots and sometimes I just put pictures of animals in cute poses and sometimes I told stories which seemed to fit with the weekly theme, but it turned out that the story was actually about something which, when read aloud, simply sounded a lot like the weekly theme.

So yeah.

My cock is really average sized, probably a bit smaller than average, but you know, the mrs is never going to tell me that is she.








Is it thursday yet?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 23:04, 6 replies)

You
are a very naughty man, al.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Mar 2009, 23:12, closed)

You know something?
I think this is quite possibly the best reply this question could have produced.

I'm not one to complain about QOTW's (There's always at least one person on here that can polish a turd 'til it sparkles regardless of question quality), but this is probably the most feeble excuse for a 'question' I've seen.

*doffs hat*
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 10 Mar 2009, 23:49, closed)

Best of the week
By far.

Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 8:05, closed)

Hear Hear...!

confession now...

Al, you know that time when...well...erm...

one of those 'really attractive girls' you mentioned...was actually me in desguise.

totally worth it too.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 11 Mar 2009, 8:31, closed)

Are you sure
you weren't in disguise?

*puts on fetching new pedantiscist hat*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 8:37, closed)

Pedantist
/pedant
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 9:27, closed)